My Blog
Hooters
I was up in a tree last night, smoking a spliff, when this owl landed on the end of the branch. I just kept puffing, and he kept wandering closer. So, eventually, I decided to be nice and ...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sun, 27 May 2007 08:55:00 PST
My trip to rehab
So, it all starts when I was in this park. This kid was shooting off a b.b. gun and he spotted me. At the time, I was so high, I tried to catch the b.b.'s. When I finally realis...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sat, 12 May 2007 02:00:00 PST
Who stole my crack pipe!?!?!?!?!
Who stole my goddamn crackpipe?!?!?! I know things can get lost after a 4-day, crank-fueled beer pong tournament, but I'm POSITIVE I did not misplace that pipe! My Grandma Nuttykins gave m...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:49:00 PST
My last run-in with the cat
So, most of you know, I've been nailing this cat a lot recently. Well, the other day I followed it home and saw it's house. I was hanging around outside when I saw a window open. The...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 02:12:00 PST
Hitler's Dildo
I got weally dronk on me skwirly wine and went on eBay against my better judgement, and I bought Hitler's Dildo for $39,493.98!!!Wood n e 1 like to take this off my hands? Otherwise I'll have to...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 09:42:00 PST
The Great North American Butt Ox Hunt
Every year per the custom of my regional squirrels, we engage in one of our most primal activities: The Great North American Butt Ox Hunt. This beast is one of the most feared adversaries of the bush...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 10:28:00 PST
bad day
My day started with a wicked case of the shits. Uncontrollable projuctile shit flying out of trees isn't good. Especially not for the guy I hit. He was pissed! He started climb...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sat, 12 Aug 2006 12:34:00 PST
Oh SNAP!!!!
Things that DID NOT happen tonight:
Doctor Nuttykins did NOT drink a gallon of acorn wine.
He also did NOT load his Skwirl-sized Desert Eagle, pop off a few rounds for fun, then see the obnoxious...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 05:29:00 PST
Crazy story!
Okay, so I ate a moldy acorn. At first I just shook it off and ignored it. Then it kicked in.
I was sitting up in the tree and the branches started to pulsate. At first I though I wa...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 04:45:00 PST
A 36-year old squirrel?
One might ask, "Nuttykins, how did you make it to the ripe old age of 36? You're a squirrel?"
I retort "It was not from eviscerating people with my newly-patented Soul Sucker 9000, and di...
Posted by Doctor Nuttykins on Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:01:00 PST
