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mart

The proud owner of Carl BB's soul!!

About Me

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Just for fun I do mind-decaying work for 40 hours a week as an analyst in a call-centre for a company that sells insurance to old people

The best way to describe me would be as a formula without a bracket

My main ambition in life is to ensnare a member of the Black eyed Peas, by setting traps with enticing objects such as cut-price sportswear and market-jewellery. My favourite thing is to find the most sparsely populated parts of the countryside in order to perfect my yodelling technique. I like to drink lager, red wine and lucozade. I like to eat Uitsmijter and chicken Neds Atomic Dustbin...Don't Exist Trailer (new)

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My Interests

Mooosique, films, numbers, books, fire, friends and aquatic birds.

I'd like to meet:

Tom Waits so I can ask him to be my uncle.

Music:

Biffy Clyro, Beatles, Faith No More, Dillinger Escape Plan, Strokes, Interpol, Boards of Canada, The Shins, PWEI, Wedding Present, Tom Vek, LCD Soundsystem, Pink Floyd, Queens of the Stone Age, Radiohead, Roxy Music, Sugababes, Team Sleep, Nelly Furtado, Oxes, The Good, The Bad and The Queen, Joy Division, Blur, Go Team, Thom Yorke, Maximo Park, NAD, Lawnmower Deth, Bloc Party, Talking Heads, Editors, Kid 606, Liars, Simon & Garfunkel, My Bloody Valentine, Pink and Brown, Blur, Queens of the Stone Age, Editors, the Cure, Cable, Helmet, Therapy?, Wu Tang Clan, Gang starr, Pink Floyd, Public Enemy, System of a Down, Flaming Lips, Mudhoney, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Rapture, Coil, Peeping Tom, Death Cab For Cutie, Postal Service, Trail of Dead, Muse, Arcade Fire, At The Drive In, Deftones, LCD Soundsystem, Dresden Dolls, Elbow, Explosions in the Sky, Fantomas, Trans-Am, Forward Russia, Get Cape Wear Cape Fly, Glassjaw, Matthew Sweet, Mclusky, your Codename is Milo, Stevie wonder, Tom Waits, Soundgarden, The Smiths, Pixies, Idlewild, Interpol, The Killers, Klaxons, Lady Sovereign, Maximo Park, We are Scientists, Mogwai, Peaches, Frank Black, Supertramp.................

Movies:

Pretty much everything by Martin scorcese, Stanley Kubrik, Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino. When Fight Club first came out I watched it about 20 times! I like some of the Bruce Lee movies when I'm in the right mood. Some British ones can be good if you don't include all the bleedin Hugh Grant-type rubbish... Bridget Jones, Love Actaully etc. - GUYS, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME FILM, BUT WITH SUBTLE CHANGES IN SCRIPT AND SUPPORTING CAST MEMBERS!!!! Apart from those, 28 Days Later was ACE! The early Peter Jackson films are popular in my house aswell, in particular - BAD TASTE! Bit of a Star Wars geek aswell, even though the last 3 films took the edge off it somewhat (the last one was the best out of the 3, but that bit at the end when he became DARTH VADER just made me laff out loud in the cinema (I thought one of the hardcore fans in front of me was gonna light-saber me in the head!!)) I do also enjoy the odd poncey French art-house film here and there too.

Television:

Confined to just 5 channels, it means that I'm quite familiar with the reality TV scene, which is as equally addictive as annoying! Who needs digital anyway?! I'm easily pleased by the random shite we get for free(ish)
Bad quiz shows are great too. Has anyone seen QUIZMANIA? It's so shite but you can't help watching, it's like a car-crash! Not to mention, Deal or No Deal! I love it when Noel Edmunds talks to the camera all intense with his serious-face on! Well funny!

AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!

That's not me by the way...

Books:

Anything by Will Self and Irvine Welsh. Trying to get my head around Stephen Hawking at the moment though... But finding it a bit hard.

Heroes:

Batman

My Blog

Nothing

So this is a blog about absolutely fuck all. I don’t smoke anymore, don’t have any decent drinking partners anymore and can’t find a regular gack-supplier. Does this mean I’m a...
Posted by mart on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 05:03:00 PST

Ode to NA

Last night was the best laugh I've had without getting drunk in a long time.You guys make it all worth it. Thanks
Posted by mart on Sat, 13 Oct 2007 03:08:00 PST

Giving up smoking

... is really fucking hard!That's it.Ok, here's a bit more.Since Saturday I've smoked 3 cigarettes in total. On a weekday I've usually had that many by 7.30am. A bit excessive, I know So, I did it, I ...
Posted by mart on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 01:21:00 PST

Fucking neighbours

I just had the weirdest experience!My next-door neighbour just summoned me to her house to have a look at her TV because she couldn't get it working properly. So I went round, she opened the door...
Posted by mart on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:55:00 PST

Mr Stabby

Ok, so I went to the doctor yesterday about the 'stabby' pain in my abdomen, and he said I've got an inflamed gall-bladder..... I thought only REALLY fat ppl got poorly gall-bladders, not skinny fat b...
Posted by mart on Tue, 15 May 2007 12:24:00 PST

CRASH!!!!!!

Someone just crashed into my car! Totally their fault aswell. This bird from work reversed into me while I was sat in my car contemplating whether or not I should have a wank when I get home, and then...
Posted by mart on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:57:00 PST

Don't let the pig die!!!!!

Dear everyone.I'm saving up for a new dialysis machine for my poorly pet guinea-pig. His name's Budroe and he will die if I don't get him the help that he needs soon.Since he bacame ill I formed a new...
Posted by mart on Mon, 29 May 2006 09:02:00 PST

Last nite....

OMG I'm in so much pain right now!!!!Did a gig at Barfly in Birmingham last nite, it was the 2nd of 2 gigs on the trot and I've broken myself.No, really I have! Ok here's how it went. I was already in...
Posted by mart on Sun, 28 May 2006 05:28:00 PST

Ever heard an album that's so good you want to throw acid on your own face? ...

Ever heard an album that's so good you want to throw acid on your own face? ... Perhaps not, and maybe that's exaggerating slightly but I definately felt a slight urge to do damage to myself shortly a...
Posted by mart on Tue, 28 Mar 2006 07:06:00 PST

now!assassin

Hi people! Watch this space for news of a new band on the horizon. The line-up includes myself and Andy from Neds Atomic Dustbin, and we are called: now!assassin inabit!...
Posted by mart on Sat, 25 Mar 2006 02:56:00 PST