maria profile picture

maria

i laid down with the lions but they're way too lame

About Me

HELL BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION SINCE 1980. Falling out of sleep, I hit the floor. Put on some rock tee and I'm out with the door. i wanna fuck you out on long island. MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

punk rock and creatures come first. i like arts and crafts, pencils, markers, glue, glitter, rulers, paint, contruction paper, scissors. i like not eating animals. i like to whack drums and watch cartoons. i like comic books and opiates. i love beer and chardonnay (oh how poncy). i love bones, skulls, teeth, molars, skeletons and science. i love legos and sisters. metal and lighters. mohawks and fetus. i have a skateboard and a scooter. medicine. mannequins and cameras. pillows and candy. dinosaurs and candles. smashing the patriarchy, fucking the system. blogs. shoes. death. destruction. bloody stuff. horror. internet. haircuts. minneapolis and records. lentils and noodles. making fun and talking shit. verbs. popcorn and gummies. hoodrats and bochinas. unicorns unicorns unicorns. smell me in the meal.

I'd like to meet:

Ghosts. a dinosaur. a unicorn. people with really big bottoms. thugs with drugs and clubs and pubs and bars. heschers hangin on the hoods of the cars. but don't touch.

Music:

big time new wave. billy idol. danzig. nick cave. dirty whiskey on the porch snake handlin' country. blue grass. liz phair. smash yr head on the punk rock. wicked thrash. doom gloom demon spawn hell-ride metal. hold steady. bochina and the texas tooth. hayride fall charm. retarded children.

Movies:

safe men. blue velvet. ZOMBIES. monsters. vampires. horror horror horror. ducumentariesssss.

Television:

Arrested Developement. Six Feet Under. Sopranos. America's Next Top Model.

Books:

i read about ghosts, monsters, conspiracies, satan, medieval torture, and undersea creatures. i like comic books, cartoons, rock biographies, unicorns.

Heroes:

kim gordon. lung leg. blondie ramone. mandy. britt. aries. girls. ladies. women. females.

My Blog

Random Alice In Chains Quote

the other night i was watching some old shows of 120 Minutes, and an Alice In Chains vid came on. Man In The Box, i think.  whatever.  there was some debate about Layne Staley losing li...
Posted by maria on Thu, 17 May 2007 02:31:00 PST

fuck you, midol.

girls, i am in a fucking spazz.my PMS is raging so hard that i'm actually peeling my fingernails back to the cuticle so that i don't hurt others.my temper is so Toulouse Lautrec that i actually smashe...
Posted by maria on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:40:00 PST

lick the foil with your tongue

in the last week or so, i was caught in the middle of a robbery, vomitted on myself, touched a newborn baby, danced to the Thriller album, went jogging in nothing but shorts a t-shirt and ankle weight...
Posted by maria on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 12:37:00 PST

now i wanna be yr dog....

this is the worst day of my life.i just got back from the veterinary clinic a little bit ago, and it was the hardest visit yet.  Aries got her ears, elbows and vagina checked out and she was howl...
Posted by maria on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 10:46:00 PST

Hanging (myself) On The Telephone

i'm so mad i could cry.  i just spent the last 12 years of my life on the phone with the Qwest company getting my home phone turned back on.can i verify your address?  can i verify your birt...
Posted by maria on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 11:40:00 PST

i feel a little bit cheaper than i need to.

my perfect chocolate crisp dollar bill in the center nesbit had an intense episode on yestarday.  what, you don't know who i'm talking about?  the only man who's ever really loved me, Montel...
Posted by maria on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 11:50:00 PST

Free Parking.

if yr playing monopoly, or in this case i was playing Edna Krapopoly, and you offer to buy the Androids Dungeon for $400, get denied, then offer $10, and the person you are negotiating with says "sold...
Posted by maria on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 12:18:00 PST

poop bag and dryer sheet.

hangovers are the devil's pat on the back.  good times good times good times SLAP.   Satan will buy you a shot and let you think yr pals and he'll keep all yr secrets and play a few rou...
Posted by maria on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 02:49:00 PST

rocky mountain freedom binge

motherfuck, it's that time of year where we feel everything. yeah, but not just emotions and sissy shit like the holidays sucking, yr parents pissing you off and yr aunt calling you fat.no, i'm talkin...
Posted by maria on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:04:00 PST

doctor, no!

we're all grown-ups here, so i can say i've had a few bad trips. nothing that a day in bed and tons of juice and TV couldn't fix, but i really can't stop thinking about last monday in the hospital. wh...
Posted by maria on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 09:50:00 PST