Phil, Pope of Chili-Town - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I tend to say the wrong thing at the right time to make my terrible, tragic downward spiral of a life funny to my friend Shauna.

I once came up with my own racial slur. I don't use it in public though because I don't want "whitey" stealing it.

While Shauna is writing this, she is actually mostly playing mah jong, but telling me this is hard to write.

I enjoy movie screenings and feeling like I'm making the world a better place by keeping movies like "Prey" out of theaters.

I enjoy digging graves. Both figuratively and literally.

My jokes about women are never offensive. NEVER. It's called reality. You can't fight city hall. Especially if you're a woman.

-Written by Shauna. Think you can do better? I doubt it. Her third one, and she's still doing well enough to justify me not lifting a finger to write my own profile.

My Interests

Objectification and summary dismissal of people that challenge my belief structure. Oh, I also like to paint. ..

I'd like to meet:

Overly trusting girls. Preferably ones with a monosyllabic vocabulary.

Music:

Any band on earth except Rufus Wainwright. Rufus, if you ever see this (Which you probably will because I suspect you run searches for your own name in the blogosphere, you egomaniacal warbling cancer on music) I hate you.

Movies:

Rules of Attraction, Rejected, The Evil Dead, Amelie, Vanilla Sky, Waking Life, Annie Hall, Donnie Darko, Series 7, High Fidelity, Romeo + Juliet, Deep Rising, BATTLE ROYALE, Kissing Jessica Stein.

Television:

Futurama, Family Guy, Simpsons, Home Movies, The Brak Show, Aeon Flux, Robot Chicken, and, for some odd reason, Friends.

Books:

The Fuck-Up, Perks of Being a Wallflower, About a Boy, Night Shift, Brave New World, Slaughterhouse 5, Choke, The Stranger, just starting The Plague. It sounds like I'm barely literate, but I just happen to like offensive, satirical, and subversive literature. So what that they happen to be "easy" and "completely devoid of literary merit"

Heroes:

That "black guy" who teaches Tai-Bo. You know- Tyra Banks.

My Blog

10 Things... Okay I dont have it in me to make a lame movie reference...

Crystal "Downy-Chan" Cuppycakes tagged me and thusly I feel compelled to comply. Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yoursel...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:38:00 PST

I DISCOVERED THE MOST PHIL-DEFINING THING EVER!

I'm not sure if this is hilarious, but if you have ever wondered what makes me tick, it's this philosophy. Also, I think I do need to fill an apartment with playpen balls....
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 11:35:00 PST

Don't call me racest, I'm from the midwest!

So, as many of you may or may not know, I'm from Colorado. Well, Oklahoma, if you want to get technical about it. And I thought I should share a tidbit of what I left behind. An old ...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:30:00 PST

Corrections from Previous Post

Hey, remember that time my myspace account was hacked by Randy and/or Keith? Hopefully you don't. But if you do, I'd like to make the following corrections/apologies to the community.1)&nb...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:57:00 PST

I dislike Tuesdays.

Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:37:00 PST

A Brief Haiku About Texas

I hate this place.
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 09:09:00 PST

Update of asian-gasm 2006

Somehow I have hundreds of hours worth of stories after spending less than two days here. So, I'm gonna try and do some rapid-fire condensed bloggin.All good trips start with spending a 5 hour flight...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 05:50:00 PST

No longer pursuit of snake wine

Status: Drank the blood of a cobra. Also the contents of it's gall bladder. First off, for those of you wondering what has happened, I have been able to be online... (...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:12:00 PST

In Pursuit of Snake Wine - Volume II

Status: Not drinking snake blood In 3 hours I hop on the plane from CO to Hong Kong. I know nothing about this place that I am going, but I am going prepared. I have a list of things I need to get ...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 12:21:00 PST

In pursuit of snake wine- Volume 1

So there's something you may or may not know about me. I, believe it or not, enjoy weird things. You gasp, but seriously, if it's odd, novel, or out-of-the-ordinary, I love it. On that note, h...
Posted by Phil, Pope of Chili-Town on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 12:23:00 PST