Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker profile picture

Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker

I fucked the Olsen twins before they were famous

About Me


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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Brendan Ryan
Birthday: July 9th 1978
Birthplace: Oklahoma City, Ok
Current Location: Norfolk, VA
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Red
Height: 5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Running shoes
Your Weakness: Tippy Cup
Your Fears: Playing random acts of IT'S ON THE FOOT!!!!!!
Your Perfect Pizza: Chicho's Pepperoni Pizza with Ranch Dressing
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Qualify for the boston Marathon
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: WTF, LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where's the Bloody Mary
Your Best Physical Feature: My legs and Ass
Your Bedtime: anytime before midnight on the weekday's and anytime before the sun comes up on the weekends.
Your Most Missed Memory: Being in Japan
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Fuck No, Who does that anyway
Do you Sing: Yes, but not very well.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: Yes
Do you want to get Married: Yes
Do you belive in yourself: Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes
Are you a Health Freak: No
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument: No, but I try to play the guitar when I get drunk. I start drunk dialing people and showing them how good I am lol.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Not a whole box, But I had some Oreo's
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: No
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, only because it's to damn cold out. I don't like skinny dipping when it's cold. My penis shrinks.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No, I don't steel. People end up losing there shit near me and I take it, but I do return it after I violate it.
Ever been Drunk: NO! I don't drink............Ok, that was funny for a little bit.
Ever been called a Tease: Yes
Ever been Beaten up: No, I don't consider it getting beaten up. I consider it losing your footing.
Ever Shoplifted: NO
How do you want to Die: In my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Police man
What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Red
Short or Long Hair: Shoulder Length to long hair.
Height: 5'0-5'10
Weight: 95-125
Best Clothing Style: Doesn't Matter
Number of Drugs I have taken: Doesn't Matter
Number of CDs I own: Doesn't Matter
Number of Piercings: Doesn't Matter
Number of Tattoos: Doesn't Matter
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Doesn't Matter
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My Interests


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You're a Wild Drunk
You can get enough drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again! What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Heroes:


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Your results:
You are Spider-Man Spider-Man 90% The Flash 80% Superman 75% Supergirl 72% Wonder Woman 72% Green Lantern 60% Iron Man 55% Robin 50% Hulk 40% Catwoman 40% Batman 35% You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

My Blog

7H4 Red Dress Run

Yes, I've learned a few lessons form Lynchburg this weekend. If you didn't go this year. You really missed out. It was one of the best Red Dress Runs that Lynchburg had.  1. While having a spin ...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 06:11:00 PST

What exactly is an Ass Spelunker

OK, Sense I haven't put out any blogs in a long time I decided (that and I got really bored) to put out the definition of my name. You know just in case there are any confusions out there.   &n...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:00:00 PST

Me and my Blumpkin

So there I was. I decided to head on out and do a simple 17 mile run. It was about 3 miles into my run when I noticed that I had to take a crap. Now normally I would ignore this but I'm no ways n...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 11:59:00 PST

Top 20 lessons learned from Prom

Top 20 lessons I learned from Prom this past weekend.   1. It's on the foot is one of the worst drinking games. You will feel the repercussions of it the next day.   2. Never leave the se...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 04:12:00 PST

Drunka ared nesssseseesssss

So there I was, Naked as a jaybird watching Quearterpoundher hump my dog. He used all my fucking peanut butter that fuck. What the fuck is up my ass. wait better story. so quarterpoundher fucked ...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:38:00 PST

I WON A TURKEY!!!

So there I was visiting some of the S.H.I.T hashers in DC this weekend. I went up there Friday after work. Dirty Dog, Lubricunt, and myself decided to rent a car for the weekend. We only spent $44 for...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 04:45:00 PST

OBX Marathon

So this weekend I decided to head down to the Outer Banks to run the Marathon which starts in Kitty Hawk, and ends at Roanoke Island. Well being the OBX you would think that there would be no hil...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:47:00 PST

Fleet Week Half Marathon

As most of you know the Rock and Roll Half Marathon was last month. Boy I was upset with my time. I got a 1:28.24. Which really sucks for me. Well it was very hot outside and I was battling a cold. ...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 04:50:00 PST

Student flying with dynamite "souvenir" indicted

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A U.S. tourist who told airport inspectors that dynamite in his bags was a souvenir from South America has been charged with breaking two security laws and could face up to 10 year...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 07:18:00 PST

Man unhappy to pay ex-wife - now she's a man

A Florida man is fighting to stop paying maintenance to his ex-wife - because she's now a man. Lawrence Roach, of Seminole, says his ex-wife has had a sex swap op and is now living as a man. He says h...
Posted by Brendan ...AKA Ass Spelunker on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:15:00 PST