Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex profile picture

Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex

I am here for Friends

About Me

Howdy howdy howdy, Im Mark aka Thor, the lovable God of Thunder aka Baal the lovable God of Smiting and Sacrificing Virgins and...ok...i cant back those up.Seriously, Im Mark, the lovable cuddly ginger boy guitarist formerly of MERKIN, the mighty Applecore Pubic Hair Metal band known all throughout...uhhh...Tayside? No?...ok...Well thats alright, i'll forgive you...for now... Well,now i play in Sharp Edge along with some young ragamuffins and an as-of-yet-unnamed band with some former members of a much loved/hated Dundee Spunk Rock band...ho ho ho!Just finished a Joint Honours Degree in History and American studies at Dundee University...got a 2:1...go my bad self! I was unemploed dole scum for a while...woot woot!!! But now im doing a postgrad degree in Early American History...which means more Native Americans and shit. Groovy...i think... Why? Because i just can bitches, because i can...Oh, to explain the 'aka Pubic Wig'...well, a Merkin is a Pubic Wig...the old band i was in was called Merkin, my name is Mark but loadsa folks call me merk...you get the point. You dont get the point? What? Are you fucktarded or something? Jeeezus do i have to spell it out for you? Damn you are so fuckin' stoopid! Why is everyone so fuckin stoopid? Why cant everyone be smart like me? *starts singing like Kim Jong Ill in Team America* "...im so....looooonely..."

My Interests

ahem....*takes a deeeeep breath*... alien, ancient egypt, ancient histroy, ancient rome, apocalypse, asian girls, battle metal, being a big geek, being wierd, bender, cheesey metal, classic metal, classical greece, clone wars,danny elfman, death metal, DeCul SWePA(Death Cult Spork Weilding Potato Armmagedon),, dr zoidberg, esp, family guy, friends, futurama, guitars, heavy metal, jobbies, kilts, kinky sex, LENORE (cute lil dead girl), master chief, merkin, metal, music, my loins, my groin, myself, myself again, nightmare before christmas, me again, Papa Lazarou, poo, potato worshiping death cults, potatoes, power metal, predator, rainbows, religions, roman dirge, samurai jack, Sith, spatulas, sporks, squee, star wars, stars, the big lebowski, the emperor, vampires, viking metal, watermelons, werebears, werebunnyrabbits, werewolfs, xmen, zombies....and loads more...

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet Ghengis Khan. I wana go where he goes, see who he sees, kill who he kills and eat who he eats... Attila the Hun would also be ace...as would Alaric the Goth...and maybe Ghandi so i could challenge him to an arm wrestle...which he most likely would win...
You Are 96% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?

Music:

good lord........*takes ANOTHER deep breath*Metallica, Rammstein, System of a Down, Slayer, Mastadon, Tool, Slipknot, Nile, Machine Fuckin' Head, Blink 182, Danny Elfman, Garbage, Jack Off Jill, Sepultura, Iron Maiden, Iced Earth, Pantera, Opeth, Cradle of Filth, Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, MERKIN, 3rd Born Sun, Trashlight Vision, Murderdolls, Soulfly, Suicidal Tendancies, Ozzy Osborne, Dirty Wee Middens, Misfits, Chimaria, Shadows Fall, Trivium, Corosion of Conformity, Lacuna Coil, Killswitch Engage, Black Sabbath, Nightwish, Lordi, John Williams, Handel, more classical composer dudes, Static X, Prodigy, Breed 77, Oasis, Dragonforce, Dream Evil, Viking Skull...hell theres loads more...love ma music!!!

Movies:

Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, The Big Lebowski, Team America, South Park The Movie, Schindlers List, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beatlejuice, Transformers The Movie, The Exorcist, Ringu, Kung Fu Hustle, The Seven Samurai, The Grudge, Bubba Ho-Tep, Lilo and Stitch

Television:

Haha, ace...ok, Family Guy, Futurama, South Park, American Dad, The Young Ones, The League of Gentlemen ("you're maaaa wife now Daaaaave"), University Challenge (yes, honestly!), Planet Earth, Blue Sea, Rome,

Books:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Bill Duke, aka Hunter S Thompson The Book of Enoch - Enoch (prophet of doom...describes in graphic detail the Holy War in Heaven...cool) The Dirt - Motely Crue Blood and Gold (The vampire Marius)-Anne Rice (cliche i know, but shes a good author) The Warlord Triology - Bernard Cornwell(King Arthur as Warlord Arthur Scourge of the Saxons)

Heroes:

Ghengis Khan, Attila The Hun, Hannibal Barca, Scipio Africanus, Alexander The Great, Alaric The Goth, Gaius Julius Ceasar, William Wallace, Robert The Bruce, The New York Fire Department (had to be done), Tommy Vance, Stewie Griffen, Bender, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Henry VIII ("there is mischief in this man..."), anyone in the SAS, Papa Lazarou, Steve Buschemi, Rowan Atkinson, Dylan Moran, Bill Baily, Jesus Christ, Ghandi, Ivan the Terrible, Eddie the Ed (Iron Maiden mascot)

My Blog

Weird stuff about me...not a survay troops

I figured id put a link into 2 of the things i've got since folks always ask me about them n' i duno really how to describe them for people. If anyone is actualy interested then here ya go http://en.w...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:50:00 PST

The first nice blog i have ever made...

..TR>..TR> ..TR> Merk is............................   The fukin Sex!!!!!!!!!He is just pure brilliance!Here a list y..................~First off, HE’S GINGER! :O ginger owns meh k? XD~He...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:35:00 PST

Fake people....

So yeah, i've been reading some bullitins that there are...fake people on Myspace....this worries me...if theres fake people on myspace, soon they will be all over the internet and then eventualy, onc...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 07:51:00 PST

Trashlight Vision gig and some merkinesce shite.

Oi oi oi mofos!!!! Big massive gigantic fucking thankyou to everyone who came along to Trashlight Vision and checked out our set. Coz im blind as a walrus i couldnt see everyone but judging from the n...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:31:00 PST

The Merk Quiz

How Merk are you??? Stuff you have/or have had in the past [x] You own more than 4 guitars[x] But only really play one of them[x] You have a pink and sparkly guitar[x] ...that you only bought to impre...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:47:00 PST

Weird ass bizzare death quiz....

{1} do you ever see garbage bags on the side of the highway and wonder if there are body parts inside?Only when im in glasgow...or lochee{2} if you ever got the chance to practice cannibalism, would y...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:00 PST

How old was i when i....did yer maw?

1. Fell in love - 162. Lost your virginity  163. Got drunk  2...on a plane to Singapour...aparently i wouldnt shut the hell up so i was given loadsa brandy till i passed out...4 Smoked weed - 195. G...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 10:36:00 PST

Download 2007 quizz

1. What day did you arrive?Thursday morning2. How long were you queuing for?Like 5 minutes...it was the walk from the car park that took aaaages3. What campsite (colour and number) were you in?Orange....
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Sat, 30 Jun 2007 04:54:00 PST

Merkin stuff, please read if u can (read i mean)

..> Update n' fashizle bout me n' Merkin. oh, and help please! S'up droogs!Long time no speaky, my bad...and your bad too ya bastards.well, i was at download the other week and it was indeed splen...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:35:00 PST

gig 18th May

S'up folks!Merkin are playing yet another gig this fine weekend on Friday the 18th May at the Westie.Due to some random crazy shit with Awaiting Exile we shall be (i think) opening the nights festivit...
Posted by Markus Sparkus Biggus Dickus Optimus Cumus Rex on Tue, 15 May 2007 09:10:00 PST