Jess=Gravity profile picture

Jess=Gravity

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships and Friends

About Me


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I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.I woo men with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.But I have not yet gone to college.

My Interests

reading and writing, hiking, ALL music, buddhism, quantum physics, NORML (national organization for reform of marijuana laws),

I'd like to meet:

Your Mom.

Music:

Sublime, The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, 311, Regina Spektor, The Strokes, John Mayer, Modest Mouse, Missy Elliot, Luda, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Crash Test Dummies, Blind Melon, Saosin, Foxxy Shazam!, Nelly Furtado, Norah Jones, Syd Barrett, B.B. King, Frank Sinatra, I guess you get the jist...everything.

Movies:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, What the Bleep Do We Know?, Little Miss Sunshine, I Heart Huckabees, What About Bob, All Things Kevin Smith (except for jersey girls), The Life Aquatic, The Sandlot, Any Disney Movie, Osmosis Jones, King Pin...I am eclectic.

Television:

I don't watch tv...

Books:

Harry Potter, LotR, The Chronicles of Narnia, the Dean Koontz Library, The Celestine Prophecies, Spirituality and Physics: A Study, Practical Buddhism

Heroes:

Al Gore. He marches to his own drum, and its a good beat.