*Evenstar* profile picture

*Evenstar*

You cannot plant a seed in the morning and expect that afternoon to sit in the shade of the oak.

About Me


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Uhm, it's so hard to know what to write here. This isn't nicely categorised like the other sections. Well I'm Heh-leh (that's Hayley, for the not so sharp witted myspacers). I have small feet, 2 older brothers and a mouldy tangerine under my bed. My ambitions are to visit the rainforest, rugby tackle a pensioner and remake the Lord of the Rings films with the cast of Mr Men. I like people to be considerate, question their existence and only use the word random in the right context. I don't like people to mumble, moan about conformity or to urinate themselves. When I die I want to watch a DVD with all the dreams I've had on it, praise God on his fine beard and stuff my face with all the grapes that are bound to be lying around. If I was a dog I'd roll in fox's mess, lick myself (in reverse order) and sniff the crotch of everyone that sat down in my house. If I was a man I'd masturbate frequently, grow a better beard and splash bystanders at the urinals.

My Interests

LIKES: Social experiments, decent poetry, extreme sports, philosophy, long hair, facial hair, bright sunlight shining through tree canopies, chip sandwiches, British comedy, thunder, kisses, the Moon, candlelit massages, funny words, having my hair stroked, fighting fantasy books, frolicking barefoot on the field, filtrum stimulation DISLIKES: Eating animals, unrealistic pessimists, people turning the pages of a newspaper by scrunching the corners (eurgh!), the PC not working, improper use of the word random, bad spelling and grammar, people who boost their self esteem by making fun of others, MISPLACED APOSTROPHES! (I have a punctuation repair kit and I'm NOT afraid to use it.)

I'd like to meet:

Go on, surprise me :D

Music:

I have an interest in every genre of music, dependent on my mood. However, I do have a real soft spot for all types of metal and ambient music - there's nothing quite like the raging adrenaline you experience upon hearing some amazing double bass footwork complemented by the demonic growls of tortured beings or equally, the wave of peace that washes over you upon hearing the chilling vocal work performed by an Irish beauty.

Movies:

Lord of the Rings trilogy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Sliding Doors, The Beach, Patch Adams, Crippled Masters (now you will sleep in a coffin! Hehe you're so wonderful :D), all Disney films esp. Tarzan, Mulan, Robin Hood. To be honest I'm a crap film critic because I like them all. Except Duel :p (haha if you're reading this Yummypants!)

Television:

Cold Feet, Black Books, Alan Partridge, Blackadder, The Office, The Fast Show, Rainbow, Meo & Mao, lifestyle improvement shows, Beserk, Grand Designs, Homes Under the Hammer, any other dreadful property shows!Does anyone out there remember Pigeon Street or Will Quack Quack? If so please let me know because people think I'm making them up :(

Books:

If I was really cool like most of you, I would respond to the category of books as follows, "?" because obviously reading is only for people with no social life (please note this is sarcasm, not insanity). My favourite authors are Bill Bryson, James Patterson, Nick Hornby and Ben Elton. I loved Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha but as of yet have read none of his other works. I have a fondness for erotic literature as I believe this is all the outside aid needed for *coughs* However, there are a lot of utterly shite writers of this genre of whom I hope to someday outdo by means of a literary battle. I'm not a fan of autobiographies but I have to say that Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell was a very interesting read, particularly if you like to read about the sexual fantasies of a sick grandfather. Which no doubt you do.

Heroes:

I can't answer that.

My Blog

I’m back! Or am I?

Hmm, so I haven't posted a blog for over a year now. Do I intend to start posting them again? Yes. Will I actually do it? No.
Posted by *Evenstar* on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:35:00 PST

Blooby Blooby Bloo

Hello, hope this blog has found you well and happy :) I'm going to start posting some of my writing on here, poetry, prose or whatever. If you wish to offer your critique it would be appreciated, alth...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 01:36:00 PST

I just don't understand

Do you?
Posted by *Evenstar* on Mon, 13 Mar 2006 12:19:00 PST

You lot

Some people in this world are amazing. I love them dearly and thank them for contributing to this world selflessly and with little complaint. Some people in this world suck. They annoy me and I hereby...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Thu, 15 Sep 2005 12:35:00 PST

A tribute to Wim (who isn't dead)

Well I'd just like to take this opportunity to say how much I love Kim Miklevicz. She is my best friend and I love her immensely. She has always been there for me and never judged me. We have had more...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Naughty little pc

Well I was feeling thoughtful and had written lots but this fucking arsehat of a computer deleted it and screwed up somehow so now I'm fucking annoyed. Lol, I'm over that now. I don't even swear usual...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Well, well, well

Dear me. Isn't life an interesting creature. In the last hour I have laughed, screamed, cried and smiled. Some of it simultaneously (not in a crazy laughing screaming psychopathic way though). Well I ...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The wonders of urine

Average day. Just the usual, being lazy, pissing in a bottle, munching pork flavoured fungus. Well I don't generally piss in a bottle. Had one of those health check things so my new doctor knows what'...
Posted by *Evenstar* on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST