Freak

Layout made by beechykeen27I'm extreamly shy and I have good reason to be.I dont like when people ask me how I am or how my day is going because I have to lie and say its going ok.I dont feel loved and I have reason to belive.yes I do cry and I cry a lot.Not much in life interests me anymore.I hate people who think they run the world.I hate peole who think they are better than anyone else.If I quit smoking, I'm going to buy a simi.-auto Glock .45I love hugs.I have very bad trust issues.I don't like to watch to much tv.I could really run away right now cause I know there is no way I can disapear off the face of the planet without anyone know where or when I left, and dont know what happened.Not very many people can look me in the eye and tell something is wrong and im hurt.I get along with women better than men because most generaly they understand emotions better, care, can make me smile, are more mature, and are more civilized.Yes life sucks to me, yes I have and still am considering suicide, yes im still alive and that doesnt mean im going to do so or give into maddness, and just because I can do it doesnt mean anyone else should.I have a tendency to care too much, and care about just about everybody enven if I dont even know them.I help people as much as I can.I hate publicity.I am very quiet until I know I can get along with somebody.I do not get along with my family, things have happened to were I know I can't trust them, talk to them, rely on them, ask them for anything, show my true self or emotions cause that could get me killed in some way shape or form.I dont tell anyone in my familly that i love them because i dont as i said before things have happened to were i cant forgive them, i dont tell them good night, im useually brief with want i say to them and dont make a conversation last longer than it should.I dont sleep worth a shit, even though i have a lock on my door that can only be unlock/locked from the inside.I have a tendency to cry myself to sleep.I believe that noone believes me or can/will help me.I believe im a failure.I think im a discrace to humanity and shouldnt breath clean air.I am hard on myself because thats about the only thing i know how to do.A sweet dream to me is basically no dream at all.I wish i had an older sister so bad right now that i could move in with and get the hell away from my family.JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends.Waits for friends. Never looks for friends.things like this are so true to me its scary ^^^^^^^