Jeff - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My life is like a PC. It crashes all the time. Internet runs my life. My brain functions at a single click especially when I'm shopping. I have parents, so I exist but I need credit cards so I can live. I spent nine months of my life waiting to get out of that slimy, placenta- filled womb, now I'm spending the rest of it waiting for my demise. If I want to feel nothing after a depressing day, I take some of those Botox pills. Whenever I'm depressed and my mind is full of shit, I don't find comfort on the advice of someone. I erase everything by watching TV. Works every time. Sometimes the only way to feel good about myself, is to make some people feel bad about themselves. I may not be your dream guy, but I am what you need in real life.

My Interests

my DVD collezione, photography, written&visual art, movies, shoes, music, technology, mp3s, discussion on everything under (over, and revolving) the sun, reading loads of books, anything fun and intellectually stimulating, chocolates, clothes, my digital camera, pranks

I'd like to meet:

Anyone with "Loser" not written all over his or her forehead. Someone who is not pretentious, annoyingly arrogant, an inveterate liar, or offensively reeks from bad cologne. I don't care if you have your genitalia openly attached to your forehead that the only option is to wear a red, laced, patterned thong to sexily cover your unmentionable every frickin moment. Just be yourself, or if you don't reach my impossibly high standards... change your name, alter your DNA, move out of your apartment, call yourself Joan or Mindy or Timmy, discard your past and create a new you. If you're interested, call me. I can give you a nice name and a personality with pizzazz to match the un-pathetic you. Just call this "The Jeff Rios Identity Alteration Program for Congenital Losers."

Music:

RnB, Rock, Alt, Folk, Country, TripHop, Electronic, Funk ---- i.e. Sheryl Crow, Tori Amos, Aaliyah, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Roxette, pre-pop Jewel, Coldplay, The Pretenders, Morcheeba, Massive Attack, Lauryn Hill, Norah Jones, Beyonce, Lenny Kravitz, Creed, Sade, Queen, Alicia Keys, Alisha's Attic

Movies:

KILL BILL, Memento, Mulholland Drive, The Godfather Trilogy, LOTR trilogy, Donnie Darko, Chocolat, Quills, Forrest Gump, Reservoir Dogs, Bound, The Pianist, Requiem for a Dream, Face/Off, X2, Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Fight Club, Clockwork Orange, Being John Malkovich

Television:

Alias, 24, CSI, Friends, Will&Grace, All 3 Law and Orders, Karen Sisco, Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, The Simpsons, The O.C., Bernie Mac, Seinfeld Southpark, the cancelled Dark Angel & Third Rock from the Sun

Books:

the nihilistically absurd (yet outstandingly original) novels of Chuck Palahniuk, creative juices of: Sheldon, Lightman, Fischer, Lipsythe, Kay, Tolkien, Archer, Rice, Barrry, Eco, Andrews, Freud, Clevenger, Martel, Rowling, Lewis, Nabokov

Heroes:

Fictional: any sexy heroine in tight t-shirt with a bad-ass attitude.Non-Fictional: Quentin Tarantino, Peter Jackson, Christopher Nolan, Tim Burton and David Lynch. Boy, it must be a never-ending circus inside their heads.