Matt

Divorced dad that added this page at the request of a friend.I enjoy happy people, but don't like them too "peppy". I like wearing sandals, but not the kind that go between your toes (ouch!!!) I know some people refer to them as thongs, but they can often be easily confused with thong underwear. For the record, I don't like thong underwear (err, at least on myself). I've often thought of becoming a hobo, but don't like smelling like cheese (apparently this is a bit of a problem for hobos). I like watching television, but hate seeing commercials that have obviously produced at the local cable office, most likely by a high school intern. I'm addicted to my blackberry cellphone, but often get frusterated by 2 am spam emails that offer "girl-on-girl slutty action". I don't like to dance, but have been known to do so late in a night of drinking. I like sushi and guy movies(not really sure how I related the two subjects in one sentence). I loathe vegetarian food and chick flicks (by the way, I'm just a guy, standing in front of a girl, asking you to love me). I enjoy summertime, but am not particularly unfond of any season. I love getting to my mail box to find mail (snail style), but am often frusterated when I only get coupons and other "junk" mail. I like waking up early in the morning, but hate it when there is nothing good on tv (take that Katie Couric!!!). I work in a political job, but hate being politically correct. I love it when my daughter falls asleep on my chest, but hate it when she cries as I leave her at daycare. I love to dress up, but hate having to do it everyday. I love the smell of a new can of tennis balls, but dislike the game of tennis. I love affection, but dislike public displays of affection. I sometimes think that TNT should be renamed the Law and Order Network. I like vacationing, but don't always enjoy travelling to said vacation. I like having a clean house, but hate the actual act of cleaning (especially bathrooms and kitchens)(I do have a dyson vacuum, which makes the floors kinda fun though). I rarely moisturize. I shave my face twice a morning (once down-grain, and once up). I believe that toilet paper should hang over the front of the roll and hate it when someone uses the last of said paper without refilling the holder. I don't recycle because I find it inconvienent. I love playing golf, don't understand the facination with watching it on t.v. I love meeting famous people, but think people that collect autographs when they meet them are silly. I don't like turtlenecks or "mock" turtlenecks. I like being fit, but hate working out to do so. I like people that ask questions and dislike it when people make assumptions. I like wearing a hat, but hate having hat-hair (I've recently disovered the visor, but fear it may make me look like I'm trying to look like a frat boy). I like funny tshirts that could possibly offend some. I prefer paper over plastic. I require a haircut every 3 weeks. I prefer dress shirts with french cuffs and a spread collar. My guilty pleasure is ice cream. When I order at a restaurant, I often just have the waiter/waitress pick whatever they prefer. I don't believe that chivalry is dead. I can still remember when they played music videos on MTV. I suffer from allergies in the spring. I think that coke tastes best when it comes from McDonald's. I think that confidence is a huge turn-on, but cockiness is a turnoff. I recently switched my deodorant from mitchem to right guard extreme. I like using a pen vs. using a pencil. I think that jewelry on a man is trashy looking (accept a nice watch). I wear contact lenses, but have been considering lasik. I tend to always get searched at airport security. I hate being late for anything. I have a fear of snakes, but am not bothered by spiders. I occasionally carry on an instant message conversation with friends for several hours on end. I am currently craving a krispy kreme donut. I'm one of those jerks that feels an incessant need to talk on the cellphone as soon as I get in the car. I require 6 hours of sleep per night. My prefered cocktail is Havana Club (7 yr.) and coke, but am forced to drink captain morgan's due to a ridiculous embargo. I don't think that gentlemen necessarily prefer blondes. I detest Starbucks coffee. I've always enjoyed the phrase "oy veh", but am not one iota jewish. I once made out with an olympic medalist. I tend to be an impulse shopper. I'm the guy that actually reads the articles in men's magazines. I believe that a bit of solitude now and then is a very good thing. I don't view the glass as half-full or half-empty. I've never understood why Missouri is known as the "show-me state". I don't believe in UFOs, but don't doubt that there is other "life" out there. I refuse to try sexual acts that involve a "donkey punch". Tragically, I try to dress "hip" on occasion. I believe that martinis at lunch are a good idea. I own an Ipod, full of music and movies, but seldom listen to it. I often describe Branson, Missouri as "Las Vegas, minus the fun". I'm currently in the market for a new truck/suv. I often buy a 32 oz coke and only drink about 2 oz of it. I like to sleep in gym shorts. I love dimmer switches on my lights. I love electronic gadgets and often impulse buy them. I listen to sports talk radio. I have 3 years of college athletic eligibility left. I think its pathetic when actors and musicians try to push their political views on their fans. I doubt that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I agree that chicks dig the long ball. I don't understand the purpose of round-abouts on our roadways. I stand 6'2, 6'4 with the fro. I love artwork, but don't understand why people pay tens of thousands of dollars for it. I think that in addition to being quite tasty, gorganzola is a fun word to say. I never attended band camp, but understand that it was a very good time. While in mexico I once accidently tried to buy illegal narcotics from a bartender when asking for a coca-cola. I once got excited to try noodling, but then found out that it was an outdoor activity rather than a sexual position. I listen to the Tony Kornheiser show podcast on a daily basis (or watch the simulcast on Newschannel 8). I like poems that begin with "there once was a man from Nantucket". I've rarely been accused of taking things "too seriously". I think that Dr. Phil is a quack, and don't get me started on Oprah. I believe that Kate Hudson may very well be the perfect woman. Like a good son, I plan on spending mother's day with my mom, probably doing her yard work. I think that before all is said and done, Albert Pujols will be considered one of the greatest hitters of all time. I've read all of Hunter S. Thompson's books, but don't necessarily endorse the lifestyle that he chose. I attended camp during the summers of my youth. I keep a shaving kit and a change of clothes in my car at all times. When I eat a waffle, I save the middle part for the last bite. I find myspace.com to be an excellent creative outlet while listening to our state legislators ramble on and on. I do not have a third nipple (and really am unsure why I have two of them to begin with). I despise being bumped into when in a crowd. I fail to see why c and k are both in the alphabet if they seem to make the same sound. I avoid "sneaking a peek" when in the lockeroom (for all of you Seinfeld fans). I cannot name all of the members of the Jackson 5, but am pretty sure each of their last names is "Jackson". I believe that the cost of clothes should be based on the amount of material used, and think it would go a long way toward dealing with the obesity problem we have in America. I prefer "Puffs Plus with Aloe" for my tissue needs. I think that every true football fan should see a Notre Dame home game from the stands. I actually own two Tommy Bahama floral shirts, but promise that I haven't worn them in over a year (probably closer to two or three). I own a bike rack for my SUV, but no bike. I've been told by many that I am "too trusting". I believe that there are two perfect hangover cures... a coke flavored icee from the convienence store, or steak'n shake cheese fries. I rarely redeem rebates and never use coupons. I have no intention of ever trying to run a marathon. I like to think that I'm "pretty fly for a white guy", but don't even really know what that means. I've often thought it would be fun to have an office romance, and can't wait to turn 36 so I can legally date someone half my age. I think that Kevin is totally wrong for Britney. I think that OB-GYN actually stands for "Oh boy, Got Ya Naked". I believe that I haven't yet peaked in life. I prefer to hang my shirts straight out of the dryer and must use bounce sheets in said dryer. I think that commercials for femine care products, erectile dysfunction, and herpes medicine should be disallowed on television. The tin man was my favorite character on the wizard of oz. I think that the online expressions "LOL", "BRB", and "OMG" are totally overused. I've never caught myself whistling, humming, or singing "I feel pretty" (even though I currently do feel pretty). I put the "I" in "team". Whenever I wash my car, it seems to rain within 24 hours. I've never been convicted of a crime (other than speeding... often). I often stay up late when there's snow in the forcast, waiting to watch the first flakes fall. I have 5 phonebooks in my home, but only one phone. I think there is nothing better than a fresh set of sheets on my bed. I have an inordinately large number of camoflague ballcaps, but only seem to ever wear one of them. I do not claim to be the fifth Beatle. I occasionally suffer a Vietnam flashback, but wasn't even alive during the Vietnam conflict. I'm not sure if there's a difference between good flan and bad flan. I don't care for the smell of napalm in the morning. I try to floss daily, but it must be mint flavored floss. I don't own a phone that has cool ringtones on it and thus simply leave it in vibrate mode at all times. I own a floral sofa, but am secure enough with my sexuality that it doesn't bother me. I like to make lists. I wonder why I'm always inclined to order a ginger ale on a flight, but never desire it when at the grocery store. I often laugh at people that have stickers on their car of that kid peeing on things. I can make a killer hot buttered rum. I recently ended my 27 year streak of going snow skiing annually. I never buy extended warranties. I don't wear my sunglasses at night. I prefer my eggs scrambled and they must be dry (how can anyone eat runny eggs... ewww!!!). I love using the statement "that's what she said"... even when it doesn't apply ("story of my life" also seems to apply regularly). I fear that my tahoe may actually be too small of a truck to haul around all of my junk. I often go months without cashing small checks, just to mess with that person's ability to balance their checkbook. Yes, the carpet matches the curtains. I've seen every episode of the brady bunch and can't believe that Mike Brady never had a secret thing with Alice (mmmm, tasty!!!). I support stem cell research, but only as a byproduct of killing babies. I love lamp. I wonder why kiefer sutherland never has to pee during an entire season of 24. I preferred the fat Al Roker. I often wonder why guys named "tiny" seem to weigh more than 300 lbs. I once thought I had mono for an entire year, but it turns out that I was just really bored. My current deadly sin of choice is "sloth". I let the dogs out. I actually enjoy the musical stylings of John Denver. I'm a firm believer that you can only be young once, but you can be immature forever. I've recently found that picking up "ladies" at a pool hall isn't necessarily a good idea. I just learned that a "contusion" is just a fancy word for a bruise. In related news, I was recently partially responsible for rupturing a close friends spleen (but only partially). Oh, also, apparently water is like concrete when falling from extreme heights (something I had been told, but always doubted... until now). My experiences have shown me that most women that claim to be "sassy" seem to be obese (coincidence???). I tend to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube, and tend to buy a new toothbrush every couple months. I once had a surgery known as a "nissen fundoplacation" performed on me. I recently rented a uhaul for a 100 mile move and promise that I will never do that again. I think that Barach Obama's primary campaign slogan should be "Bros before Hoes". I'm often frusterated by the idiot driver that feels it necessary to drive 45 mph in the left lane on the interstate. For the record people... the left lane is for passing, scoot the f over!!! I believe there is a variation of "murphy's law" known as "morgan's law" (for those of you that don't know, my last name is morgan). I've been known to IM in the wee hours of the morning and not recall exactly what was said (you know who you are). I recently experienced 8 hours at the helm of a recreational vehicle and wouldn't suggest it. I also just learned that the infield of a NASCAR race is like Mardi Gras, minus the classiness. I'm quite fond of the comedy stylings of Daniel Tosh (check him out, he's on my friends list). I have no tatoos on my body... not because they're gross or anything, I just don't like pain. When I grocery shop, I prefer to go up and down every aisle. I'm the proud owner of a Dewalt 18 volt cordless drill. I believe that MSNBC, Fox News, and CNN all use the "Breaking News" headline across their screen too liberally. I'm a big fan of the mashed potato bowl at KFC (excellent with hush puppies). Two of my more fond childhood memories are: a)the moment that "adult swim" ended, and b) shooting the duck at the local roller rink (that little diddy goes out to you kb). I love living in an apartment and not having to deal with the joys of home-ownership (i.e. mowing the lawn, home maintenance, etc). I'll most likely be making my 3rd visit of the year to The Incredible Pizza Company next week... God help me. I've yet to feel the urge to put a "slideshow" on my myspace wall. I find it funny that people only buy powerball tickets when it's up to $300 million. The $50 mil just wasn't enough, huh? I recently saw a news story on large groups of thousands of sharks moving along the coastline. The animal revolution is beginning, run for your lives!!! I'm hoping my life will be made into a Hallmark Channel made-for-tv movie someday... Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds