Ã¼bertarded - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm in the navy. The reason I joined is simple. If I went to college I would drink... alot and then eventually fail out and be no better off than MC Hammer is now. You know, unemployed and broke.... not the bad hair cut thing, or the trash bag pants. ... ok maybe the trash bag pants. -NEXT- I think that watching sports on TV is pointless; example, I would rather have sex than watch a porn. So if you like football get off your ass and toss a ball around outside. I also think that Tequila is devil cactus juice, not really sequential though... but true none the less. -NEXT- I think that the moon landing was a hoax and I would buy ANYONE a beer if they could explain to me why Ashley Simpson is famous.... and don't say because she put on the best musical proformance on SNL since the lead singer of Tommy Tutone crapped himself right in the middle of "867-5309" back in 1982. -NEXT- I drive a dodge truck that gets 11 miles to the gallon because... let's just say I have small feet. -NEXT- I refuse to take "public transportation" including Monorails, Buses, Trollys and Light rails, lets just say I have my reasons, and it doesn't involve public urination or very communicable diseases, even though thats the primary motive for not returning Courney Love's phone calls.Ok, that's all there is to me. No, really, above is 100% of my personality. I'm serious...... and partially drunk.
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My Interests

I'm working on how to juggle 2 running chainsaws and a Scarlet Macaw, but I don't know how to practice without loseing a finger. I'm aginst protests but I don't know how to show it. A damn good music is what I'm intrested in. For that matter, women......... I'm intrested in women. More curious... like why when they move in with a guy, they want to put things that are the Lavender in places like the bathroom. I once stopped in the middle of having sex to watch a new episode of "House". I collect comic books. I watch sci-fi movies I also cry when I drink too much because I think about getting beat up in high school. HA! just kidding, sometimes I cry even when I havn't been drinking.

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet Jessie Jackson when he is drunk. I just think that would be funny. A weekend with George W. Bush his second year at Yale. He may be running this country into the ground, but I bet he could party harder than anyone else. Tom Cruise so I can ask him "At what point did you officially go BONKERS?" Matt Lauer so I can ask him why he didn't bitch slap Tom Cruise when he had the chance on the Today Show. I mean come on... "psychology isn't a real science"? That makes about as much sence as a Football-bat. yeah.. think about that for a second. let it sink in. Emilo Estevez, just so I can ask him when he is making "Mighty Ducks 5" Jessica Simpson, to play scrabble with Niccole Richi, Lindsey Lowhan, and Mary-Kate Olsen, together so I can eat a big bucket of fried chicken in front of them. The guy who stole my idea for TiVO, so I can stab him in the jaw. Adam Sandler, so I can ask him why he isn't funny anymore. Kevin Cosner, to tell him Waterworld sucked Kevin Cosner, to tell him The Postman sucked Kevin Cosner, to tell him Tin Cup sucked Kevin Cosner, to tell him Message in a Bottle sucked and if he makes one more movie that sucks that he will suffer the same fate as the guy who is filthy rich from TiVO I'm sure there's more but I'm too angry with Kevin Cosner to write them down right now
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Music:

Get up kids, crystal method, coheed and cambria, Journey, Van Halen, Megadeth, Outkast, AC/DC, Green Day, Bad Religion, Def Lepard, Offspring, Judas Priest, Kanye West (because he hates Bush even more than I do), Kiss, Smashing Pumpkins, Velvet Revolver, you know, good music... .... ... did you know they havn't writen a new country song in over 17 years? Yes, it's true, they just digitally remake old Hank Williams songs.

Movies:

Back to the future, Kill bill, Momento, Boondock Saints, The Prophecy, Fist of Legend, Sin City, Crash, and Spice World.Get your led banner
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Television:

Daily Show, Millionaire, Best Week Ever, 24, The Soup, HOUSE, Scrubs, My Name is Earl, the Office, Chapelle's Show, Mind of Mencia, Anderson Cooper 360, and myth busters

Books:

ADD prevents me from getthing through an article in Maxim, let alone a REAL book. But a few have made it through my web of disability, but only the classics. Candide, red badge of courage, a few make your own adventure books, and Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

Heroes:

Jon Stewart, Old Dirty Bastard, Seth MacFarlane, That guy who invented fire (that stuff can really come in handy), Christopher Reeve, Lance Armstrong, Larry Flynt, Henry Ford, Greg Graffin, that guy that married Britney Spears first, the guy that stabbs Mr. TiVO in the jaw, and saves some for me, Michael J. Fox, and Pauley Shore (Pauley Shore the ARTIST, not the commedian, or actor.... he sucks)

My Blog

Usefull information, or me just rubbing it in.

Here in Altoona, the closest saltwater beach is about 5 hours away in New Jersey, about 5 1/2 hours if you want to go to Ocean City, MD. That's shitty for a few reasons. The closest "beach" at all is ...
Posted by übertarded on Thu, 31 May 2007 08:09:00 PST

Gnomes you say? I don't trust them.

40 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions Ever, BE HONEST1. Where were you an hour ago? Up to my ears playing Elder Scrolls IV. I am such a fucking narf. 2. Who will be your next kiss? Either Sari or the n...
Posted by übertarded on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 12:18:00 PST

the good news is "voltron came with a recipt

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? Sanjaya. So I can laugh at him. Because right now he hasn't sold a damn record and pissed off millions of americans. This time next year, that will not be...
Posted by übertarded on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 07:26:00 PST

If a book was an old nasty woman would it be a book bag?

Write exactly whats on your mind and don't change it..1. My 'ex' is still = throwing up after her meals. 2. I am listening to = They might be Giants. 3. Maybe I should = do my job.. you know, the one ...
Posted by übertarded on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 11:09:00 PST

Jerks and that uncomfortable circle.

1. Hi, my name is... Andrew 2. Never in my life have I been.... able to break a board with my hands or head unaided by tools. 3. The one person who can drive me nuts is... Travis Koshko. That son of a...
Posted by übertarded on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 06:50:00 PST

Eye patches and 3-d movies

What time is it? 7:19 PM (it would have been 6:19, but they moved up daylight savings time.... fuckin' Ben Franklin)What is today's date? march 20th. a Tuesday by chance. Name: Andrew Comer Nickname: ...
Posted by übertarded on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:12:00 PST

The new profile and the new Drew.. or some other cliche proclopation of self improvement

So I was admiring my self the other day and thinking to my self "Keifer Sutherland doesn't have shit on me." This has nothing to do with my blog I just wanted to let you all know I MAY be at odds this...
Posted by übertarded on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 05:21:00 PST

How TV sucks and how well do you know me?

Ok, so I was thinking about doing this a while ago, but I just kinda got around to it.. I was busy dealing with a headache caused by wondering why they still call it Chapelle's Show if Eddie Murphy's ...
Posted by übertarded on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 07:39:00 PST

BACK TO ALABAMA

ok, in addition to putting this on my blog, I am also putting it on a bulletin... and if you needed that explanation you probably are a window licker. and for the record THAT is a personal attack........
Posted by übertarded on Sat, 13 May 2006 10:05:00 PST

Your digits...

When it comes to things I like about myself, the list is short but passionate. I like that I am witty. I enjoy my ability to play PS2 for 12 hours at a time. I also think I am a decent rec...
Posted by übertarded on Thu, 16 Mar 2006 12:08:00 PST