Short Demo
..
Add to My Profile | More VideosA gossiper (also known as a rumor monger) is a person who thrives on spreading information of questionable origin to their social network, which can include the people that they work with or their own personal friends, or both. They typically act this way because they crave the attention that their rumors about other people generate for themselves, despite the fact that their own lives are pretty much boring. The gossiper does not care about the reputation of others. They are mainly interested in generating attention for themselves by being a source of “juicy†information.How to Identify the GossiperIt’s important to remember that the gossiper can and usually IS disguised as family members, friends, or loved ones. Just because they are close, does not mean that they’re not a dangerous gossiper. In fact, the most dangerous gossipers are ones that are close to you because they are able to more easily access private information about you. Most gossipers are well-known for being gossipers, but there are those who are not so well-recognized because they are able to cover their tracks fairly well. One of the surest signs that someone is a gossiper is when they start discussing rumors or private information about another friend or coworker in your social or professional network. You can be sure that if they are doing it to someone else, then they are also doing the same to you.Don’t Take Anything at Face ValueThis rule is applicable to a much broader degree than with the gossiper, but in this case, it becomes pretty important that you don’t rely on the gossiper as your sole source of information. Check the facts out for yourself. Scrutinize their claims. Be an investigator and search out the truth for yourself. When a rumor comes your way, trace the origin of that rumor back to the source rather than through the hearsay of the gossiper.Be Careful What Information You ShareThe best way to deal with the gossiper is to keep your private information locked up and away from their reach. Before you discuss anything that is potentially hazardous to your reputation, take a close look at whom it is you are talking to. Is it a trusted friend who has proven their reliability in keeping your private information confidential? Are they genuinely concerned about you and your well-being, or are they only interested in prying out the private information that has caught their interest?We all have the emotional need to vent out concerns that weigh heavy on our minds. Be careful who you choose to vent those concerns out to because chances are that the first person in line for to satisfy that need will be the gossiper. Use your most trusted friend for venting or find someone who has no social connection with your life, or ideally someone who is bound by law or faith not to disclose information such a psychologist or a priest.Gossipers Love to Dig Information Out of YouA true friend knows and respects your boundaries when it comes to private and sensitive information about you. A true friend will know not to persist in their questioning if they know that they are invading your boundaries, unless of course they are genuinely worried about your well-being, in which case such invasion is justifiable. If someone you suspect might be a gossiper persists in asking you questions about sensitive information or confidential personal news, then ask them why they want to know so much. If they give you a generic answer such as: “I just want to know,†“Just because,†or “I don’t know,†then I can bet money that they are a gossiper attempting to leach information out of you. If they get angry at you for asking this question, then this is a sure sign that they are a gossiper also.Beware of the Law of ReciprocityThe law of reciprocity states that if you give someone something, that they will be obligated to give something back to you of equal value. If you give a gift to someone, they will be inclined to give a gift back. In the case of the gossiper, they will use this universal law to their advantage by offering a piece of personal information (usually fake) to you with the hopes that you will lower your guard and give them the information that they want. Don’t be tricked into giving up information just because they did.Gossipers are PersistentGossipers can be very persistent because of their curious nature, often making emotional appeals to bait you into giving something up. Don’t give in to this tactic. Persistence in trying to obtain private information should be a red flag that the person is a gossiper. Tell them that it’s not something that you want to share right now and make that the end of the conversation. Most likely they will whine and get mad at you, but stand your ground because it’s better that they get angry rather than let them destroy your good name.A Gossiper Hates Being QuestionedOne of your best tools to disarm the gossiper is to ask a lot of detailed questions regarding the rumors that they are spreading. Remember that the gossiper usually fabricates or embellishes the small amount of information that they overhear and they usually lack the concrete evidence to support their claims. You can usually dissolve their rumor fairly quickly by probing their rumor with detailed questions.Filter Your Incoming InformationA gossiper thrives on the attention generated from their rumor or gossip, so it’s important that you don’t become part of the problem yourself. Know how to distinguish information that is purposeful versus information that is obviously gossip and don’t fuel the gossiper by giving an ounce of attention to that meaningless gossip.
