.::JK::. profile picture

.::JK::.

Mexico smells like shit

About Me


The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... oh very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess in the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I highly suggest you try it!
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2/27/08
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My Interests

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Good times, easy money, and family.....above all else. I'm a pretty simple guy. I try really hard to balance work and play. I love to play golf, go camping, fishing, throw shoes at the beach, etc. Any activity involving the outdoors on a nice sunny day, you can count me in. Most every summer I make my way over to west Texas to tube the Guadelupe. It's always a Big Time on the river! I'm just counting the days until my little boy is old enough to go camping & tubing at the river with daddy. Spencer and I have a ton of fun when we hang out together on the weekends as it is. The big times are coming as he gets older though. Hunting, fishing & camping with my boy. Good Stuff! Damn, I can't wait!

I'd like to meet:

My Grandparents (on my Dads side). They passed away when I was a baby.

IT'S "NAGGERS"

CITY BOYS CAN SURVIVE TOO! GOOD JOB MR. HORN!

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ME N SLIM THUGGA @ HOOTERSBEAT THE TRUNK UP!!!

Music:



Mailboxes drip like lampposts in the twisted birth canal of the coliseum. Rim job fairy teapots mask the temper tantrum. O' say can you see 'em. Stuffed cabbage is the darling of the Laundromat 'N the sorority mascot sat with the lumberjack. Pressing passing stinging half synthetic fabrication of his - Time. The mouse with the overbite explained how the rabbits were ensnared. 'N the skinny scanty sylph trashed the apothecary diplomat Inside the three-eyed monkey within inches of his toaster oven life.In my mind I'm half blind My inner ref Is mostly deaf I'm smell impaired If you cared My sense of taste is wasted on the phosphorescent orange peels of San Francisco axe-encrusted frenzySo let me touch you Let me touch you Let me touch you Let me touch you Where the Ro-yal Jelly gets made~Dewie Cox~I can't peg myself down to just one particular genre. I love all types of music, from classic rock to hip hop. I go through weird phases at times. Some days I listen to mainly trance and house & others I'll be on a rock/alternative kick. It all depends on what I'm feeling in the moment. If I had to pick a favorite style of music I would have to say Texas country. Texas music, as far as I am concerned, has pretty much dominated and ultimately redefined country music. I don't even listen to the crap on the radio anymore. It's all a bunch of whiny bullshit without the word "Texas" in front of it. It's the song writing saviors like Cory, Pat, Wade, Eli Young, Robert Earl, Boland, Craeger, Fowler, Cross Canadian, and of course, my boy Aaron Wayne that have kept me 2 stepping my way through the days with a warm-hearted grin on my face. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I am also fascinated with the creative and original stylings of progressive house and trance. I was first introduced to this new age disco-shit by Houston's own DJ Mark D back in the days of The Beat @ Club Roxy. I grew more and more intrigued by this new sound & expanded my listening horizons to more of the international beats from DJs like Ferry Corsten, BT, Bennasi, Acosta, PVD, Oakenfold, Markski, Zoltar, Tiesto & so on. Nowadays I have many ideas that I'm keeping locked away for a later date when I have the time & the financing to finally put together my studio. I'm constantly keeping my ears and mind open to music (old and new) and searching for new ways to re-invent old sounds. It's only a matter of time before the 1200s are spinning and these visions of mine become a reality. What can I say, I love where music is at today. All my love and respect goes out to anyone and everyone who keeps their music as real as their daily life. Come original and you'll have a fan for life!GET DOWN I WILL!!!

Movies:



Not real big on the sappy chick flicks. However I did get Notebook'd a while back, which was lovely by the way. She cried, I sighed. I'm a total comedy junky. I love old Mel Brooks films. Young Frankenstein, Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood-Men in Tights, etc. I've been a huge fan of Jim Carey since he was on In Living Color back in the early 90's. My all time favorite stand up routine is Chris Rock's Bring the Pain. Dane Cook and Mitch Hedburg are a close 2nd & 3rd. If it's slapstick humor, I'm all over it!

Television:

Comedy Central, Discovery and History Channel. Friday Night Stand-Up, Scrubs, Family Guy and South Park are probably my favorite shows on TV, with the exception of the Daily Show with John Stewart. That's my CNN.
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Books:

Anything related to NDT & API. (non-destructive testing/ code inspections) Any type of self improvement literature. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Mega Memory, etc. Of course, a little Maxim or FHM never hurts the old eyes and it's always good practice to memorize your divorce decree. ;-) Just incase.

Heroes:

I'd have to say my folks. They've had my back through it all. I owe who I am today to both of them.