GOTHHARD profile picture

GOTHHARD

Just Me a Ukelele and a Good Pair of Socks

About Me

Muscular Entertainment! A Sizzling Drama!I love getting paid to blow shit up and destroy. I knew one day the WTC buildings would go down but I was hoping I'd get the contract to do it and not with fucking planes full of people. Fucking fascist islamic camel fuckers for allah. Down with their mockery of a religion which wouldn't exist if it weren't for the Jews and the Christians, the western infidel. I would gladly work for free if they offered me the job to eliminate some sacred temples/armed forts. People like me are needed to get rid of the old, the primitive, the useless garbage taking up valuable space and endangering the structures around them. It's for the best and believe me, you'll think it's cool when I add it to Implosion World .Here's some shots of my work:I edited my profile with Lexington Steele's Huge Dick v11.0

My Interests


surveying buildings, pinpointing cells, pointing the finger, giving the finger, finger banging, cell sex, cell phone sex, celery, 100 page surveys, being the consummate gentleman, blueberry muffins, muffs, pumpkin pies, cream pies, pilot pens, chapstick, neuticles, the shit that is on the internet, brauts and sauerkraut, silk stockings, stalking figure skaters, jonbenet candlelight vigils, vincent d'onofrio...on weed!, spader, haters, Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes, potato famine parties, if it starts with a J it's gotta be good, missing your goddamn face, Fist City denizens, stabbing hippies for the sake of peace and hygiene, a robert smith afterlife, freedom, liberty, and fuck you, hustlin' fer realz dogg, beating up frenchies because they're fags, ghetto blastin' in the hood with my silo cup in hand, abstract commands for pets, in-jokes that are so in nobody knows what the fuck they're saying to each other, depressing songs disguised as happy songs, eugenicists against eugene levy, slapping children after hugging them, something meow, watson and crick, thinking love is the center of the world, robbing the indie kids blind in dark alleys and puking to their music, sad lonely thongs on subway seats, rappin with petey greene, lanky brunettes with wicked jaws, Che on a Stick, old wooden water towers, Denver International Airport, patrón enemas, christian vegan bulimic lesbians with daddy issues, lube, lube, everywhere, buster keaton in your face, real genius, the 8th dimension, wet people with dry tongues playing kazoos, Jesus and shit but mostly shit

I'd like to meet:

someone weak and pathetic and fuckable and unfuckable at the same time, someone i can kick the shit out of and laugh at and then buy them dinner and laugh about it with them. If you're it, come here and taste the steel in my boot.The (g)A(y) Team: Snoop A Loop, M. John & J. JohnWillie. I want to shake his hand. The man knows what he's singin' about. Please leave the old fucker alone and let him smoke his weed in peace.the kid on the right.
It was John Something. What the fuck happened to you, dude? We were the fucking shit together. I know you're shreddin' somewhere.Also, Bobby Fischer.Let me not forget leftist twats that can carry on a conversation without using one word retorts like "ignorant/racist/sexist/facist/homophobe/neuter"Note: I'd like to meet friends that I don't know yet. please don't message me if I already know you. you make me want to vomit and i keep this "space" between us for a reason.p.s. is this bitch for real? i want her. I bet she's self-centered, slightly arrogant, yet constantly self-deprecating in a way that hints at a great deal of low self-esteem despite the obvious attractiveness; shows flashes of genuineness, but only to mask a lack of respect, honesty, loyalty in the long term. History would indicate a pattern of distrust and maybe abuse, physically or mentally. She probably has a lot of acquaintances but few close friends. I want her.
FUCK YEAH!!!

Music:

Scorpions, iron maiden, THEE LED ZEP, EN, converge, napalm death, BLACK FUGGIN SABBATH, lightning bolt, venom, six finger satellite, carcass, Def leppard, Michael Schenker, lurker of chalice, mingusmingusmingus, dolly parton, sic alps, goat thrower, corrupted, hasil adkins, MAKE A CHANGE... KILL YOURSELF, the only ones, blut aus nord, deep blue something, 2 Live Crew, billy squier, stone temple pilots and that grunge scene, watchmakers, gram parsons, Vacuum Era Gelid Atmosphere, dragonauta, christian death, cattle decapitation, oxbow, Nelson, fuck i'm dead, gary numan, meshuggah, r. kelly featuring reh dogg collaboration, bathtub shitter, the Saints, Ungl'Unl'rrlh'Chchch, bedemon, motley crue, kiss the anus of a black cat, Sunburned Hand of the Man, gal costa, monument of urns, great white (that show fucking ruled!), THE GUN CLUB up my fucking brown door, Nuit Noire, gg allin, Violent Students, New jack Swing, Electric Wizard "heaviest band in the universe", descendents, Trollmann Av Ildtoppberg, circle, detsorgsekalf, retarded electronics, ABBA, all things swedish you fuck face, found sounds and traffic accidents

Movies:


Terminator I, II, III, Commando, Predator, Conan the Barbarian, Destroyer, Red Sonja, Red Heat, Raw Deal, Total Recall, Running Man, True Lies, Junior...those sorta movies. You know, gay dicks in chick flicks.

Television:

Dog Whisperererer, Buffy and Law & Order, The LO, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Special Animals Unit, Law & Order: The Wild West, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: Subzone Aliens Division, Law & Order: LIVE!, Law & Order: Ulaanbaatar, Stephen King's Law & Order, Kenny Roger's Law & Order, Law n' Odor, Law & Order: My Ass, Who's Law & Order Is It Anyway?, Law & Oates, Law & Order: Thought Crimes, Swapping Law & Orders, World's Most Dangerous Law & Orders, That Law & Order Show, Everybody Loves Law & Order, Lawlessness & Disorder: LA, Law & Order Gone Wild, Crossing Law & Order Jordan, LOST & Order, Law & Order: Extreme Fuckover, Law & Order: Backdoor Sluts Undercover, Law & Order: Boohbahs On the Beat, Law & Order 3-D, To Live & Let David Caruso Die, Two and a Half Law & Orders, Law & Order Who?, Law & Law & Order or No Law & Order, Order's Funniest Surveillance Videos, Desperate Law & Order Housewives, American Law & Order Idol, America's Top Law & Order, Dancing with the Law & Order, Grey's Anal'n Orderlies, Weekend at Law & Order's; Pimp My Law & Order, Law & Order: Fag Squad, Law & Order Beach, Law & Order Anatomy, John From Law & Order, Chuck Norris as The Law & Order, Law & Order: CSI: 9/11: Alaska, Jude Law & The Maid to Order, Law & Order Will Fuck You Up, Law & Order: I Shit You Not, and a bunch of other worthless RGB light shows

Books:



Heroes:


Junkies & Anorexic Beauty Queens

Super Size Jesus Juice Thriller King of Fast Food Pop (...doesn't matter if you're black or queer)

My pal Harvey

The General

TRUE LOVE
&

DEAD CHRISTIANS IN THE SKY

My Blog

I Love When Ministry Were Stone Cold Fagatrons

...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:38:00 PST

Russian Bears Scare the Shit Out of Me

does anyone out there know if any of Ptushko's stuff is on dvd? i remember seeing some of this shit on mystery science theater way back when but thinking, you know, there is some fu...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:02:00 PST

I Hear You Have a Catholic Block. Drop Dead.

...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 10:00:00 PST

Fucktards

If this guy had written and performed his own material, he could have been our generation's Daniel Johnston [*obscene hand gesture*] or maybe Kermit the Frog or [fill in the blan...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 09:29:00 PST

Tranny, You Know It's True

Who cares they didn't sing? The music exists and it didn't happen by accident. I used to dance to this shit in the euro dance clubs all the time. There was nothing quite like letting loose to mindless...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 10:00:00 PST

David Caruso Puts on His Sunglasses AGAIN

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has seen CSI Miami and appreciates how absolutely lame David Caruso is. I fucking hate CSI (fill in the blank)....
Posted by GOTHHARD on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 09:44:00 PST

Koto

It's tough to beat an italian jedi playing the synths with such unbridled passion....
Posted by GOTHHARD on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 05:26:00 PST

Network/Cable News

...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 05:22:00 PST

I Luv Drunk Linkin Park Fans!

You seen this guy? I wish I knew what he was saying, not that it matters since it's funny on its own. It's pretty damn catchy. You can find the regular interview mix somewhere on youtube....
Posted by GOTHHARD on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 08:43:00 PST

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Received a new monitor for my birthday. i hadn't realized just how incredibly blurry my old one was, and bulky as hell too! thank you all! and thank you for calling me and wishing me well too. it sto...
Posted by GOTHHARD on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 11:35:00 PST