Matthew - ProfilesArchive

About Me

One time I was at the mall and I saw an old lady fall down and I laughed.

...I think she died...because she was old and that was a long time ago...so she must be dead by now, ya know?

You know at the beginning of Jurassic Park when you first see the dinosaurs and the music swells and you get that rush of emotion and think, "Dinosaurs are REAL." You know what I'm talking about? ...no? ...just me? Well fuck you guys.

Billow and breeze, islands and seas
Mountains of rain and sun
All that was good, all that was fair
All that was me is gone...

My Interests

dumpster diving, poetry, small and large animals but not medium sized ones, andy eastman, mock pregnancies quickly followed by mock abortions, fat bottom girls (they make the rockin world go round), photographs but not pictures, pickels, and of course world peace

I'd like to meet:

Packing a Musket
By Jerri Blank

When you work from your home,
and Johns call on the phone,
you're a Call Girl.

When you walk 'til you limp,
and give a cut to a pimp,
you're a Street Whore.

When they're begging you please,
to get down on your knees,
near their groinage,
'scue a me, but ya see,
don't cha touch, where they pee,
without coinage.

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View All of My Friends

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Music:

Movies:

should make you feel sexy or at least really really horny...like porn...but not Poop Porn, that makes me feel dirty...and oddly hungry.

Television:

is the God of my soul. It corrupts completely. There is no escape!!

Heroes:

should be eaten. Preferably ALIVE!

My Blog

Some things I’ve been thinking about this May

I'm not sure what it is about this time of year that leaves me both exhilarated and heavy hearted. I seem to keep bouncing back and forth between the two. That last bit wasn't exactly true. I know why...
Posted by Matthew on Fri, 16 May 2008 11:42:00 PST

I saved a bunny!

My mom saw some crows in the street trying to fly away with something. She realized it was a little bunny and jumped out of her car, scaring away the crows. Amber and I got a box and towel, while my m...
Posted by Matthew on Fri, 02 May 2008 09:49:00 PST

Clitter

...
Posted by Matthew on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:25:00 PST

There is no contest

This kid is THE American Idol. He makes everyone else looks like the rejects from week 1. It's disgusting how great he is. ...
Posted by Matthew on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 09:39:00 PST

In Honor of MLK Jr., Diffrent Strokes solves racism!

Check out this video: Diff'rent Strokes - Mother's Last Visit Add to My Profile | More Videos...
Posted by Matthew on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 03:13:00 PST

Damn skippy!

"I wish your vagina was like a jewel and it was buried at the end of the Earth and who ever was your true love would have the same jewel on the end of his dick and they would search the world for this...
Posted by Matthew on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:07:00 PST

Painting for G’parents

Posted by Matthew on Sun, 23 Dec 2007 02:07:00 PST

Im not angry anymore

Anyone else interested in joining me and Allexxx for a night of Montell Jordan???
Posted by Matthew on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 09:31:00 PST

No

Tonight, that was really hard to hear.What's worse is finding out that you've known for over a week.AND he was there! He was fucking there...I felt like such a joke. I did my best to act ambivelent, b...
Posted by Matthew on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:55:00 PST

Drunk Text Messaging

I can not resist you! Why do you make me send such ridiculous things?!...at least T9 keeps me from sending words that aren't real....although it would probably be better if I sent gibberish.Aw, crap....
Posted by Matthew on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 08:49:00 PST