Helena Beena profile picture

Helena Beena

Age Without Apathy

About Me

"Years ago I sang on a track using that voice and someone asked, 'Who is that terribly depressed man?' ... But Patrick loved it. He said, 'You sound like a young boy, like a child, like an old woman, like an old man,' and really, we all have all of those things inside of us. I don't do any vocal gymnastics to make the voice better as I age. If it comes out rougher, then it's true to what's happening. Singing is who I am. I didn't train for it, any more than I trained for anything else I did. I probably should take better care of myself physically, but it goes against the grain."
~ Lisa Gerrard
Give us a few words...or rather traits that we could pin to you.
Fierce, sage, assertive, tactful, affectionate, imaginative, eloquent, flirtatious, glamourous, confident, stressed, abstract, and I have an intense level of curiosity.
I'm [currently] a semi-vegetarian. I skirt dispositions within introversion and extroversion, frequently confusing friends and even Myers-Briggs typology. As a jack of all trades, I cannot be pinned to any particular interest or field of expertise. I make classification increasingly difficult, I know. Calling me The Helena will pose as an apt label.
I occasionally do some late-night cruising with friends, attend shows, randomly socialize and tease people with my cat-like tendencies. Sitting on the floating docks of Shorefront Park with my feet submerged in the water is a treasured past time worth reliving. Often, I was with a special person, submitting to the occasional shiver in response to the winter winds. Though the water was icy, I was at bliss, thorougly enjoying the experience.
You'll rarely find people like me: The insubmissive dominatrix who can go from Bohemian chic to Victorian/1950s vintage and even to the various dimensions of Goth. I am the curvy diva (still said in modesty here) who will lay on the grass next to you and hold an intellectual conversation, the free spirit who can lift you from the worst mood.
I evaluate and apply zen buddhist philosophies (the focal point of my religion/spirituality), wiccan principles, catholic imagery and grace, and hindu keenness. You may be able to tell by now that I am quite multiracial: native american (Blackfoot and Cherokee tribes), west/east indian, european (including German, Irish, Swiss), and middle eastern (Turkish). I also have some Egyptian ancestry. I've been put in the blender of racial diversity and am the sweetest daquiri of this generation. :P
For those of you interested in Myers-Briggs typology... testing reliably, my personality type is INTP - Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. My definition of INTP in regard to myself: Incommisably Manipulative, Theoretically Perspicacious - that said in honesty and humour.
By the way...you now know too much and must be killed. Have a nice day =)!
You're a Glass of Wine!
What Type of Alcoholic Beverage Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are 'Latin'. Even among obsolete skills, the
tongue of the ancient Romans is a real
anachronism. With its profusion of different
cases and conjugations, Latin is more than a
language; it is a whole different way of
thinking about things.You are very classy, meaning that you value the
classics. You value old things, good things
which have stood the test of time. You value
things which have been proven worthy and
valuable, even if no one else these days sees
them that way. Your life is touched by a
certain 'pietas', or piety; perhaps you are
even a Stoic. Nonetheless, you have a certain
fascination with the grotesque and the profane.
Also, the modern world rejects you like a bad
transplant. Your problem is that Latin has
been obsolete for a long time.
What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Interests



Rhetoric, photography, wine, writing, psychology, medicine, singing (opera, jazz, a capella melodies, contemporary), elegance [and glamour], tactful observation, analyzation, sketching, belly dancing, yoga, neuroscience, languages (French, Latin, German, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Japanese), feminism, discussion-based classes, random late-night expeditions, vampirism, BDSM, dictatorship, games of skill and strategy, random theorization, Victorian tradition, nature, design (interior, graphic), innovation and improvisation.

I'd like to meet:

Intellectuals...spontaneous and random people. Both people who are constricted by the complexities of their own minds and free-spirited souls with the legerdemain of a past-time grace. People of beautiful and glamourous personalities.

Or anyone...

You Are 34 Years Old
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act?

Music:

Handel, Audioslave, Alice In Chains, Tool, Mozart, Smenta, Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, Louis Prima, Louis Armstrong, Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo, Andrea Bocelli, Verdi, Skindred, Slipknot, Kenny G, Apocalyptica, Metallica, Van Halen, Jimmy Van M & Taylor, Lords of Acid, Joy Division, Type O Negative, Korn, Portishead, Bauhaus, Lisa Gerrad, Dead Can Dance, Sisters of Mercy, Prodigy, Gorillaz, Rage Against The Machine, Black Sabbath, Interpol, Bangles, Rob Zombie, A Perfect Circle, Static X, 2Gether (no comment), Brian Setzer Orchestra, Rammstein, Duke Ellington, Culture Club, Florent Pagny, Tiziano Ferro, Tom Waites, Paul Simon, Ministry, The Dust Brothers, Aha, Nirvana, Bach, Beck, Beethoven, Bobby McFerrin, Claude Challe, Vivaldi, Daft Punk, Deftones, Dishwalla, Dark Soho, Disturbed, Dry Kill Logic, Sir Edward Elgar, Dvorak, Etta James, Elton John, Fates Warning, Fear Factory, Red Book, Helene Segara, Guns and Roses, Incubus, Iron Maiden, Kathleen Battle, Jimi Hendrix, Ivan Rebroff, Joshua Bell, Korn, Leftfield, Marilyn Manson, Maria Callas, Massive Attack, Collide, Rob Dougan, Miles Davis, Nine Inch Nails, Orgy, Pablo Casals, Professional Murder Music, Queens of the Stoneage, Sergei Rachmaninov, Purcell, Prokofiev, Radiohead, Ravi Shankar, Red Hot Chili Peppers, White Zombie, Kronos Quartet, Russian Red Army Choir, Skindred, Sneaker Pimps, Mono, REM, Savage Garden, Sound Garden, Yngqie Malmsteem, Arturo Fuerte, Linda Ronstandt, Styx, System of A Down, Twisted Sister, U2, Union Underground, Vast, Violent Femmes, Wham, Zakk Wylde, ZZ Top, Ray Charles, okay that's enough...

Movies:

Raise the Red Lantern,

Shanghai Triad, The Heiress, Valmont, The Hours, The Red Violin, To Wong Foo...Thanks For Everything, Better Than Chocolate, Gia, Requiem for A Dream, The Passion of the Christ, Match Point, Basic Instinct, A Beautiful Mind, Snow Falling on Cedars, 12 Angry Men, The Birdcage, Mrs. Doubtfire, American Beauty, Finding Forrester, Road to Perdition, Glory, Angela's Ashes, Girl Interrupted, American Psycho, Catwoman, The Snake Pit, Ever After, The Green Mile, The Mummy, The Sixth Sense, Jeepers Creepers, Fightclub, As Good As It Gets, Dying Young, The Professional, movies on mental illness/time period focused drama(40s, Victorian era, Renaissance, etc)/intelligent people or concepts, lesbian/gay, etc

Television:

I hardly watch television. If I do in fact decide to watch something, it would be Queer As Folk, Noah's Arc, Project Runway, drama, comedy, etc.

Books:

The Vagina Monologues, Mrs. Dalloway, Wasted, The Bell Jar, The Kiss, The Seal Wife, Poetry of Baudelaire, Phantoms In The Brain, The Feminine Mystique, Essential Zen, A Woman's Geography, Creative Evolution, The Lost Land, Gorgias, The Black Dahlia, Moby Dick, The Frog King, The Elegant Universe, I'm Not Crazy I'm just Not You, Of Human Bondage, Monsieur Venus, The Scarlet Letter, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Fetish, Hidden Memories, The Unheard Cry For Meaning, Hungry Self, The Cinderella Complex, Bulfinch's Mythology, essays by Andrew Lang, Eminent Victorians, Portrait of An Age, Women in Love, speeches and letters written by people during the 1800s, etc.

Heroes:

Free Satanic layouts at SatanSpace.com

My Blog

Sick Girl

You must love people. Oh poor little sick girl. Sick girl hasn't been here in a few days. Let's replace her and alienate her when she comes back. Let us pretend that we never knew her. Let us sneer. E...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:12:00 PST

Death in the Family and Social Etiquette

My uncle died. Comment?: No comment. One is supposed to wear black when grieving. Supposedly. That is the tradition. Where did this come from? It is a crime that I am wearing bright greens, my hai...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 05:39:00 PST

Aye...

I'm too old for this crap. I've certainly outgrown this place (LIGALY) and this age. These age ranges...this...bondage. Unpleasant, titty twisting, gritty, rotting bondage. Enough said on that bit. I...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Sat, 10 Dec 2005 07:17:00 PST

Intellectual babblings?

Where are the enlightened ones? I don't mean full circle here folks, I'm talking about intellect. If I hear one more utterance of petty anxiety over the same shit, the black holes (from this perspecti...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Tue, 29 Nov 2005 03:49:00 PST

Interesting fortnight of growth!

What's so shocking about being a lesbian anyway? It is not shocking to my mother...shockingly. In fact I believe she wishes me to be one, marry a nice, butch, well-to-do, asian (or at least someone mu...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Mon, 28 Nov 2005 12:14:00 PST

Weary Eyes Don't Always Indicate A Weary Mind

Look around you and see who/what is amongst you. This week is the time for legerdemains and deception. Who, even at the very least exhibits. . . - An eating disorder ** - Obsessive compulsive disorde...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Mon, 24 Oct 2005 07:52:00 PST

Now is the time of truth

As I'm waiting for my unwatched kettle to boil (fucking bastard liars of that idiom..) I decided that I will post a cute little survey that I didn't write but contributed to. Good luck? Luck needed? ...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Sun, 16 Oct 2005 10:46:00 PST

Who to shun? Find your own mutant.

Lately it has been hectic. I actively choose who will represent me, who I associate with, and who will be "continued prospects." That is a raw definition of a controlled friend network folks. I reco...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Mon, 10 Oct 2005 11:20:00 PST

Academia and Goals

I decided that writing this up would keep many of my friends informed as to why I have been indisposed and help in verbalizing my structure related thoughts. What I'm taking in the local high school...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Sat, 24 Sep 2005 08:00:00 PST

Mr. Cream Dream...What's Really Good?

I find it funny when I have to view my own goddamned profile, making me look like a narcissitic bastard, to see whether redundance in messages, to me from others, is intentional, directed by oblivious...
Posted by Eva Marischka [Nephyts] on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST