ATTENTION RETARDS: Don't use my comments section to advertise your stupid event, shitty band, marketing scheme, free cellphones, giftcards, ringtones or penis enlargement pills. Your comment will be deleted. You spamming fucks are ruining myspace!!!
WEBCAM:
I am Lauren O'Neil. I'm a University Student, Bartender (at Woody's Outhouse ) and blogger. I want to create things when I grow up, or maybe become an evil dictator... still undecided. I have a sick but wicked sense of humour and it's really hard to gross me out. I love animals, reading, travelling, writing, music and food. I think too much for my own good. I swear I'm a lot smarter than I present myself to be.
I am an extremist.
I hate seeing people get their feelings hurt. Good luck figuring out whether I'm being genuine or fake. I don't even know sometimes.
I'm a huuuuuge geek. Don't be dissapointed if you meet me and I'm picking pineapple strands out of my braces and tripping over my gangly appendages. I'm really not very cool at all.
I plan on either getting a masters in Media Studies at Western once I'm done my undergrad at UWindsor, or going to college for journalism or advertising in Toronto somewhere... but first I'll teach English overseas, and then go out west for a while to bartend and snowboard... and then go to Hollywood and try to my hand at being a Papparazo for a while. Or I'll fall in love and abandon all of my dreams to pop out 2.5 kids while teaching kindergarten at a mid sized elementary school in the suburbs.
I have a terrible weakness for cute boys - and am terribly picky about what I consider 'cute'.
I have a history of breaking hearts and getting my heart broken. Boys always seem to like me a lot at first, and then they don't want to be with me anymore once the novelty wears off - call it bad luck, poor judgement, or some serious flaws on my part ... I'm starting to think I'm just not cut out for love at this stage of my life.
I'm pessimistic, affectionate, insecure and curious... but on the outside I usually just seem happy and spazzy and ditzy. I think I might have multiple personalities.
I'm the most hypocritical anti-capitalist you will ever meet.
I swear way too much.
I have a website : www.nakedbarbies.net
I'm really, really open and honest about almost everything in my life - but I will lie to your face to spare your feelings.
I am soooo damn confused about almost everything.
::::::DISCLAIMER::::::: While I may be uber-sexual, I am not a slut. Nothing close. I will sometimes post skank-ish photos of myself in my myspace profile (and on my website) because I can and because I want to. I am probably a lot more intelligent than this profile will lead you to believe. I am not on myspace to 'pick up'. I do not want to have da cybor sexink with you. I will not turn on my webcam for you. I will not give you my msn/aim screename. If it's apparent to me that you're nothing more than a guy looking to hook up with chicks via myspace, I will not talk to you. Thankyou for the compliments, but please don't expect a reply if you hit on me... unless you're a super hot rock star, or a boy that I like in real life. Thanks.
Elle Woods + Carrie Bradshaw + Jenny McCarthy = Lauren O'Neil.
Lauren Loves:
dead baby jokes
the internet
reading
partying
cake
design
fashion
sushi
nature hikes
youtube
being weird
bottled water
boners
cartoons
the beach
driving
swearing
vegetables
my friends
my parents
Tickory:
Lauren Hates:
liars
loud noises
creepy guys
bugs
headaches
****** ******
obesity
jealousy
infestation
bitches
mayonnaise
grammatical/spelling errors
your mom
MY WEBSITE - NAKEDBARBIES.NET
Me as a cartoon! I love it. Thanks Matty ! (See more of his work at tooninator.com .
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The Survey
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The Best Myspace Survey
* . . About You . . *
Eye Color:: Hazel/Green
Hair Color:: Blonde
Height:: 5'5
Favorite Color:: Pink / Green / Red
Screen Name:: Lauren O'Nizzle / Fucktard Mcgee / Tequila Barbie
Favorite Band:: Sublime.
Favorite Movie:: Mean Girls.
Favorite Show:: The Simpsons / ANTM / King of the Hill
Your Car:: 1994 Mercury Sable. Dream Car = Porsche Carrera
Your Hometown:: The C-dot, beeyatch.
Your Present Town:: Dub City.
Your Crushes First Name:: Sha-Niquah. Damn that bitch is fly.
Your Grade:: 2nd year
Your Style:: Fucking Sweet.
* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?: No, but I used to sit on Kevin's. I almost fell a few times.
Kissed someone in the rain?: Yes.
Danced in a public place?: Yes.
Smiled for no reason?: to be creepy, yes.
Laughed so hard you cried?: All the time - Whenever I watch America's Funniest Home videos.
Peed your pants after age 8?: On the regular. I don't even bother with toilets anymore. I find changing my own adult diaper much more convenient.
Written a song?: Yes , lots.
Sang to someone for no reason?: Hahaha totally. I sing to Tickory all the time.
Performed on a stage?: Yes.
Talked to someone you don't know?: Uh... yeah. Of course I have.
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: Nah... not unless I wanted something. Not my style.
Made out in a theatre?: hellllz yes. many times.
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: Does rollerblading count? If so, then yes.
Been in love?: yeah.
* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?: Jackie.
Tell you, I love you?: My mom.
Kiss you?: Tickory.
Hug you?: My mom.
Tell you BYE?: my Mom.
Write you a note?: I can't even remember... somebody write me a note!
Take your photo?: Melissa Stewart, yesterday!
Call your cell phone?: my Mom.
Buy you something?: I bought myself some chapstick today.
Sing to you?: I don't remember!
Write a poem about you?: ?
Text message you?: Remus.
Touch you?: Tickory.
* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?: 2 minutes ago. Someone on TV said something funny.
Time you cried?: Like, 3 hours ago when I was watching "Walk the Line"
Movie you watched?: "Walk the Line"
Joke you told?: I guess it would be a joke I got from Southpark: "What do you call a jewish girl's boobs? - JEWBS!" ahahahaha
Song you've sang?: A Mary J. Blige song (I can't get this song out of my head)
Time you've looked at the clock?: right now. it's 2:01 am.
Drink you've had?: Some diet pepsi.
Number you've dialed?: Jacqueline's, earlier today.
Book you've read?: "Our Changing Earth" - textbook.
Food you've eaten?: Animal Crackers.
Flavor of gum chewed?: Spearmint, I believe.
Shoes you've worn?: my blue vans.
Store you've been in?: Blockbuster.
Thing you've said?: "I'm going to go on the computer for a few minutes"
* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?: yes.
Whistle?: NO. I fecking wish.
Blow a bubble?: Yes!
Roll your tounge in a circle?: yes.
Cross your eyes?: yes.
Touch your tounge to your nose?: yes.
Dance?: fuck yes.
Gleek?: no.
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: yes - I do that often.
Speak a different language?: french and jibberish...
Impersonate someone?: like, everybody I know :)
Prank call people?: I used to do it all the time.
Make a card pyramid?: probably, if I tried.
Cook anything?: meh - I can follow a recipe if I need to. And I make good pancakes.
* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...: rich girl, I would eat sushi every single day. And get implants.
I wish ...: that I could fly.
So many people don't know that ...: I'm sad inside.
I am ...: an intricately put together chunk of matter.
My heart is ...: bloody and strong.
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