Jamie - ProfilesArchive

About Me

MyGen Profile Generator I'm selfish and high maintenance, because I can get away with it. I love to do everything in excess and I'm the best at everything I do. I'm clever and funny and that's what kind of people I like to be around. Make me laugh and we're golden; Throw some drama at me and I'll go away.

Life's serious way too often, so make fun of those less fortunate than you. It will make you feel better, and will be good revenge since they're stealing the stereo out of your car right now.
My only problem with life is that there isn't enough hours in a day. I stay up way too late all the time and wish that it didn't have to end every night when I go to sleep. There was more fun that I could have had in my day and more things I could have gotten done. I always have something else I could and usually should be doing.
I have to add here the jewel in my life. Jenna just turned three years old. My daughter is about the best thing ever, and she's so full of cuteness that it's almost sickening (in a cute way.) She's a learning machine, and I'm sure will be graduating college at age 14. Just thought I'd point out that she's awesome and I've never been happier.

White and Nerdy

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My Interests

Things I care about:
1. Myself (AKA: Number One is Number One)
2. Care and maintenance of my penis (No, that's not a typo.)
3. Avoiding doing any care and maintenance myself (This may actually be my number one interest, but I'm pretending not to be shallow.)
4. Blondes built like Pamela Anderson (in the day)
5. The Environment and Starving Citizens of Third World Countries (I put this one in here to sound deep. Really, I could give a flying fuck.)
6. Myself
7. Protecting the integrity of the Dewey Decimal System (I put this one in so I could plead insanity later)

I'd like to meet:

The whole package. The looks, the attitude, the energy, and the skills. Stamina is required, and an immunity to sleep deprivation is essential.
I would also like to meet anyone that would like to support me so I can get on with lazing around the house working on my ultimate career goal as a professional bad influence. I think there's a calling for that somewhere... some rich parents that think their daughter is just too much of a goody-two-shoes. I'm on the case!
Failing all that, two nice, hot girls who keep me around as their sex toy (who am I kidding? They don't have to be nice!)

Music:

Weird Al will always rule
I still love my old Guns N Roses.
I like old 80's rock, like Warrant, Slaughter, AC/DC, Metallica.
I also really dig some Belinda Carlisle and Roxette, but not in public.
Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson make great music videos, best watched with the word 'MUTE' floating at the top.

Movies:

I like comedies that make you laugh like South Park and Johnny Dangerously (1984 represent!)
This would be in contrast to comedies that don't make you laugh, like anything Will Ferrell was the star of.
I thought Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was a great movie, which kind of disturbs me.
I also love the action movies like Bourne and MI.

Television:

Currently on TiVo and I watch religiously:
South Park
24
Lost
Heroes
Jericho
House
Nip Tuck (I'm about done with this one)
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Parco PI
NYPD Blue
Daily Show, Colbert, and Showbiz Show
Iron Chef
Everyday Italian (Giada would get it)
I've never watched a full episode of Family Guy, which everyone thinks is a sin. I think I don't add it to my TiVo list just to fuck with them all.
Throwdown with Bobby Flay (This one may be going soon)

Books:

Terry Brooks
Douglas Adams
I don't have time in my life to get into anyone else.

Heroes:

Raymetae, duh
Also, Tommy Lee for the obvious Pamela reasons

My Blog

50 things you’re dying to know about me

1. I once took 10 CLEP tests for college credits in a row and passed them all, even on subjects I knew nothing about. This got me out of one year of college.2. I was married for three years.3. I have ...
Posted by Jamie on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:22:00 PST

They will remember, whether they want to or not

Be warned. This is gratuitous for the enjoyment of my family. If it bores you, don't say you weren't warned.I make a lot of home videos. People are funny about these things. They insist that I shut th...
Posted by Jamie on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 05:00:00 PST

Why women live longer

Women, on average, live longer than men. I have always believed (and a few experts agree with me on this) that this is because women will go to the doctor if there is something wrong. Men, on the othe...
Posted by Jamie on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:09:00 PST

You’e only saying that because it’s true.

I realized a few years back that I'm the biggest sucker for flattery. I don't think this is very uncommon, just a lot of people won't admit it. I've always been a realist. I don't like to have my way ...
Posted by Jamie on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:18:00 PST

Jenna’s first haircut

To set the record straight, I don't procrastinate. I just think things need more thought. I just don't leap into action if it's not necessary. I discovered that I make better decisions if I didn't go ...
Posted by Jamie on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:56:00 PST

My conservative view on dating

I'm confused by the whole dating thing. The thought of walking up to a girl and having a brief conversation, then asking her to go out sometime. Taking her to dinner or a movie or both. Walking her to...
Posted by Jamie on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 05:04:00 PST

The ultimate blog

I really felt like blogging today. I wrote three different blogs, but I didn’t like them. I like to keep my blogs light-hearted, and well, these were just too serious.I wrote about my dad and ho...
Posted by Jamie on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:40:00 PST

Is your candy bar too healthy?

At the grocery store the other day, they had a display where they were sampling out sausages. All in all, pretty good. The girl working at the display was named Joy. After she informed me of this, I c...
Posted by Jamie on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:05:00 PST

Kokomo?

I have a couple of good stories from my trip to LA last summer. When I was at the store the other day, I was reminded of one of them. I was reminded to the point where I started laughing uncontrollabl...
Posted by Jamie on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:40:00 PST

It’s happening again

My daughter called me from Alaska with a simple request. She’s a senior, so she’s graduating this year and she wanted me to come up there for her graduation. I told her I would do this, be...
Posted by Jamie on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:48:00 PST