Rachel {is everywhere} profile picture

Rachel {is everywhere}

Prayer is the greatest, swiftest ship my heart could sail upon.

About Me

Many of you have known me for a long time, and known me as a Christian. A bad one, but nevertheless, a Christian. Well my life changed forever this past December at a New Years Conference with Campus Outreach, and I finally began a personal, intimate, daily relationship with God for the first time in my life. God is my one pursuit in life. The rest of these things are just minor details, He will do with these passions of mine what He has planned for me since the beginning of time. But here are some things about me. Im getting dreads soon.Im going into the Peace Corps, so Im working on getting my Teaching certificate. Im going to teach HIV/AIDS awareness in Africa. My heart resides in North Africa and the Middle East. I want to live amongst the Bedouin tribes in the Sinai Peninsula, and write the words that are screaming in my heart. I want to follow in the footsteps of Smadar Lavie. I want to stand on Mt. Sinai where Moses passed down the Ten Commandments and lift my hands and breathe in the air, and thank God for his beautiful creation. I want to speak Arabic for the rest of my life. I want to know the pain of the Palestinian people. I want to take away the pain of my Palestinian friends, and my friends from Sudan. I want President Bush to do something about Darfur. I want our troops to come home. When I think about how much I want kids, I cry. I am a passionate person, and then some. I put my heart into everything in my life. Sometimes I think I am the most sincere person I know. My brother Jon and Jamie Crouthamel are my best friends, and I would not be here without their love and support. I hate rain, but I love the smell after it stops, when steam is rising from the streets. My music and my spirituality are the driving forces in my life. I am in love with writing and reading...its an out of body experience that sends me to a world I could never dream or imagine. I value my independence and my freedom. People tell me all the time that they're intimidated by me, and I dont understand why. I'm also told that I'm really serious and heavy, but I see it as being focused and deep. I like that about myself. I hate shopping, and money, and computers. Most of my clothes come from Goodwill. Failure is my biggest fear and my biggest motivator in life. I want to be treated like a queen, but I am incredibly low maintenance. I love walking or driving with no destination. I am constantly looking for inspiration. I get my inspiration from the world around me--from everyday life. From a stranger's smile, a friend's hug or caring words, a beautiful day, a good book, late night conversations, learning something new...from the wind in my hair, sun on my face, and knowing that there is a God. I see beauty in less obvious things. These little things mean everything to me. I am poetry in motion, and this is what I live by. This makes waking up every morning seem like an adventure.http://sincerelyempty.wordpress.com/Layout made by nothing_plus_this at CreateBlog.com .This is me happy.This is me sad.I like to dance.sit around campfires with friends.and most of all hang out with asian elvis impersonators I meet in vintage stores.. Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are - I want to know if you are willing to risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon, I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you've been opened by life's betrayal or have become shriveled and closed for fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain - mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story your telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when its not pretty, everyday, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon "Yes!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have, I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand at the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I'd like to meet:

the man God has made specifically for me.

Music:

Wilco, Jeff Tweedy, swift, smashing pumpkins, Old Crow Medicine Show, Bob Dylan, Hopesfall, Finch, Silverchair, Nine Inch Nails, Coldplay, Radiohead, Mae, the chariot, Thursday, The Eagles, America, The Cure, Tears for Fears, The Carpenters, Coldplay, The Bee Gees, Simon and Garfunkel, DMB, WEEZER, the Killers, Jewel, Fiona Apple, Incubus, Silverstein, Dashboard, Norma Jean, Relient K, Sublime, Bright Eyes, Dmb, Ben Fold(five), Something Corporate, Straylight Run, Taking Back Sunday, Saves the Day, John Mayer, Senses Fail, 311, Red Hot Chili Peppers, the beatles, Damien Rice, the Pixies, the velveteens, Classical schtuff, mostly Haydn. Cant think of anymore right now.

Movies:

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? and this bag was like, dancing with me. like a little kid begging me to play with it. for fifteen minutes. and that's the day i knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. video's a poor excuse. but it helps me remember... and i need to remember... sometimes there's so much beauty in the world i feel like i can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." ~American Beauty ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around." ~Love Actually

Television:

David the Knome, yo.Nick at NiteCartoon Networkthe officeSeinfeldFull House

Books:

"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them-if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry." ~The Catcher in the Rye

Heroes:

my brother jamie crouthamel

My Blog

I want to see from Your side of the sky*

I thought I'd share what I journaled about during my quiet time this morning. Some of it is silly, but I just felt moved to share this with everyone. This passage is from John which is what me and my ...
Posted by Rachel on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 02:18:00 PST

Grace: The refinement of a soul through time.

God exists quietly. When I sit still and contemplatethe breeze that moves upon meI can hear Him. For hours I would layflat upon the meadowsstare at theendless field of blue skyand revel inthe divine ...
Posted by Rachel on Fri, 05 May 2006 07:44:00 PST

Eternal truths and Ceaseless comfort

"I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you." John 14:18 This weekend was huge. After thursday's power outage on campus and the chaos that followed, friday was one of the most peaceful days...
Posted by Rachel on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 12:59:00 PST