About Me
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My LiveJournal
For starters I would like to say:
If I tell you your Japanese is wrong and you argue with me when your only source is anime/manga, please be prepared for me to tell you how fucking stupid I think you are in not so nice words in phrases that you perhaps WILL understand.
I'm not going to pretend to be a Japanese speaking genius, however, don't pretend to know the language and culture when you haven't even stepped upon Japans soil. Theres nothing more irritating than a fan-geek who thinks they know it all!
As for my job: Stop asking, I will not tell you, however heres a hint, I'm not a prostitute, pimp nor am I a stripper.
NEXT!:
I am introverted, intuitive, perceiving, and feeling (to a very small, and selfish degree) rather than thinking. I like to write, draw, animate, computer animate, play video games, read comics (huge dork), learn Japanese, RPG's, EGA and some EGL, Visual Kei, J-rock, Cosplay, Anime, Christianity, Macaroni and cheese, deodorant, clean underwear(!), Onsen, Bamboo Forrest, SUSHI and Gyoza, Nattou, Techno Trance, Heavy metal, Death Metal, some J-pop, Manga, writing stories, writing poetry, making comics, drawing pictures, taking pictures, painting on canvas, sculpting, drawing on you, gauges and tapers for the ears, biting, chii sai chinchin .. oops, tragic love stories, star crossed romances (Mahime), creative thought provoking movies and books, yuri, yaoi, bishounen, teenagers, goths, punks, hippies, wannabe hippies, artists, poets, brilliant people, morbid people, super depressed people, anorexia, white hair, spiky hair, odd colored hair, purple eyes, small boobs, OH! AND FASION!... I'll finish the rest some other time.
Side Note (Written 8/19/2006):
I feel like I'm wasting my time getting to know people.
You build up something with them, only for it to crumble and fall at the slightest temptation.
What's the point? This is how it is with most everyone.
Even these self proclaimed "nice guys" whom always look down on the supposed "bad guy" (I.E. the cheating, negligent, or abusive boyfriend), are just as vile as the people they speak against. Maybe not in the same way, but there's millions of ways to emotionally hurt someone, and ways to disconnect yourself from whomever it is you're hurting.
I have come across far too many people like this, and have read far too many entries where the "good guy" is taking a shit on the stereotypical "bad guy" and then turning and pitying himself because "he's so nice, and these other guys don't deserve these women, bla blah blah" ...
all I have to say to that is: Fuck you. You all know how bad your shit stinks, stop wearing this fake "victimized" mask and get the fuck over yourselves, air out your god damned dirty laundry from the start so the women know what to expect from then on.
The so called nice guys from the past have always been bigger assholes than the people they don't want to be.
There's going to be a lot of disappointment for a lot of women out there.
Written: August 15, 2007
Lost Love (nakunatta ai)
The overwhelming feeling of rejection becomes a sharper knife year after year:His soul, more than anything, I treasured this above all else.
A person so delicate, a person pertaining to my own image, my own persona, to know that I was not alone in this world was severity upon my deteriating psychosomatics, how large a gap in my soul to be without his tender voice and once kind words.
Perhaps I am crazy after all, however, with him in mind, I will revel in my existential humanity.Hearing the words from their mouth, I had envisioned what it is they tried so delicately to say, to articulate that I was lost in the flow of emotional delusions and thrown to the side like a pile of trash...I wish for a moment that I had been given the chance to touch his soul, however my inability to ascertain what should be apathy and indifference upon myself has led me flawed at many times and far too self indulgent to sit idly by as my feelings were brushed to the side and existence ignored. Far be it for me to be without word, yet I regret not having been able to touch him emotionally as he did I.He is the one whom holds the key to the chain like vice around my heart, one who has the power to give me an unimpaired feeling of whole, or a harrowing feeling of insufficiency, however if he will be mute toward me, then I beg god that he may unlock the chain like vice with a key of "farewell" ...
however, my heart lingers and my mind tears, my body yearns for freedom or for word.The fear within his heart, the inability to say "good bye" causes me to slowly die in this torment of silence.
I can walk neither left nor right, my way obscured by the parapet of stone, a wall which blocks all realities bringing forth this illusionary world of hope and happiness, these illusions have entangled me with a mind that will not bide by me.Strings of dejection rips the eyes which guide me, smashes the window of my soul causing me to no longer see the obvious for what it really is, my deceived heart how foolish we are, we are certainly alone within this wall of sick depression, built on fear, solidified by inadequacy.My path leads to god, however my way is filled with hallow stimuli, reckless people, and carnell misery.My chains are heavy, but my body is strong, I will endure a little longer.
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