The grocery store game: choose three things from the supermarket that convey a theme. Wilford Brimley's list consists of Quaker oatmeal, a moustache comb, and diabetes testing strips. Buffalo Bill's looking for dog treats, lotion and a basket. Anyone could be looking for laxatives, adult diapers, and a stop watch.Also on the list: looking for the next big thing, celebrity court cases, organizing closets, child pageants, watching bad television, watching good television, complaining about being morbidly obese, dinner parties, self medicating, finding fault with my surroundings, being pleasantly surprised, traveling to first world cities to avoid natural disasters, charity benefits, store openings, keeping it real.
Filthy, filthy boys and lovely, lovely ladies. Hot sketchy teens. Rich bitches. Philanthropic, generous gentlemen. Aaron Carter. Sharon Stone. Billy Elliot now. Hayden Christensen then. Pharmacists. That dirty dancing fellow with the red socks from the Diet Coke commercial.
Shakespear's Sister. Diana Ross. Annie Lennox. Spice Girls. Whitney Houston. Pulp. Lisa Stansfield. S Club 7. Hanson (the early years).
Working Girl. Baby Boom. First Wives Club. Spiceworld. Short Cuts. The Rural Juror. Dangerous Liaisons. X2. Two Can Play That Game. Birth. Unzipped.
Like cocaine and blonde hair, television is delicious, damaging, and addictive. The shows that have ruined real life:The Golden Girls, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Moonlighting, The Comeback, 30 Rock, General Hospital.
The Ballad of the Sad Cafe, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, Disco Bloodbath, No Time to Die, She's Come Undone, White Noise, Garlic and Sapphires
Liz Tilberis. Jack McCollough. Lazaro Hernandez. Doris Pitzer. Bonnie Corey. Brooke Palzinski. Diane Sawyer. Lisa Rinna. Ina Garten. Obi Wan. Sandra Bernhard. Ruth Reichl. Tina Brown. Christine Ebersole.