Some days it's lots of things, some days it's nothing at all. I'm interested in philosophy, especially that of the nature of reality and ethics/virtue. I like art (Klimt, Giger, Dali, Bacon, Hieronymus Bosch, Titian), photography, photomanipulation, graphic design. I paint, mostly acrylic on wood, but I also work in aerosol (graffiti art, murals), various pencils, pens (and ink), markers, conte, charcoal, anything that leaves some type of mark on some type of surface. One of the things I love most is doing figure work in charcoal. I'm interested in martial arts (Mixed MA, Jeet Kun Do) and have studied/trained in Wing Chun Gung Fu (Yip Man), Boxing, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (Gracie), Filipino MA, mostly CQC (close-quarters combat). I like all aspects of the filmmaking process, but especially post-production (editing, graphics, sound design). I'm very interested in understanding the hidden realities of life: the symbols, archetypes and metaphors in our world - this shadow of reality. I consider myself an anarchist politically and I believe that individuality and freedom is not a license to act irrationally, but they are a state of mind that compels one to act responsibly and compassionately. In my opinion true "individuality" is not just "freedom of movement" or "doing whatever you want". It's an understanding of yourself, your personal ethics, beliefs, ideals and having the courage to act according to those, regardless of your generation/society/upbringing/community. I'm interested in religions (esoteric christianity, zen buddhism, hinduism, pagan, mystery cults) and the search for spirituality/God in general.
Anyone honest really.
Goth, Industrial, EBM, Prog Trance, Ambient, Illbient, Jungle, New Wave, ExperiMetal, Blues and really anything that displays sensitivity, talent, intelligence and doesn't assume the person listening is completely devoid of taste.
So here's a list then: Frank The Baptist, Mors Syphilitica, Diva Destruction, Mephisto Walz, Faith and the Muse, Christian Death, Skinny Puppy, The Church, Antiquark, Corpus Delicti, Rasputina, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Queens of the Stone Age, Robert Miles, Chainsuck, Tricky, The Flir, The Birthday Massacre, The Doors, The Eurythmics, Rage Against The Machine, Ministry, GodFlesh, Front 242, My Dying Bride, Sonorous, Ayla, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, NIN, Paul Van Dyke, Armin Van Burren, Lisa Lashes, Morcheeba, Napalm Death, Jimi Hendrix (an actual genius), Smashing Pumpkins, Lycia, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Black Tape For A Blue Girl, Cocteau Twins, Beth Orton, London After Midnight, Future Sound of London (Far-Out Sons of Lung!), Yoji Biomehanika, Haujobb, Die Form, The Fitness, Faithless, Sade, Autechre, Cruxshadows, Pulcher Femina, Bauhaus, The Shadow Dance, Alien Sex Fiend, Switchblade Symphony, The Shroud, The Last Dance, Etta James, Biosphere, Depeche Mode, New Order... there's more, but that should give the general overview.
Kissed, Fight Club, Bladerunner, Cube, Communion, Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, The Neverending Story, Killing Zoe, The Matrix (just the first one), The Ginger Snaps trilogy, Reservoir Dogs, Citizen Kane, What Dreams May Come, Contact, Morvern Caller, Altered States, Lolita, Perfect Blue, End of Evangelion, Edward Scissorhands, The Abyss, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, One Hour Photo, Frida, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I Spit On Your Grave, Enter the Dragon, Romeo and Juliet, Vampire Hunter D, 2001 A Space Oddessy, Lost In Translation, Napolean Dynamite, Stoker's Dracula, Clerks, Run Lola Run, Alien 3, Manufacturing Consent, The Hunger.
I hate the T.V. It uses our emotions to manipulate our collective opinions and teaches us to distract ourselves from our world, slowly numbing our cognitive faculties. It whispers to our subconcious what and how we should think, not think, like, dislike, accept, reject, find humorous, find attractive, find pride in, consider praise-worthy, consider useless - it's pretty disgusting. I'm of course addicted to the superficial freak-show like everyone else. I usually just sit there in front of it like a zombie, senselessly flipping channels until I see one of these on: BookTV, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Nova, Viva La Bam, South Park, or one of those idiotic Girls Gone Wild commercials. Yeah, I'm a fucking dork.
I like to read/study alot of philosophy and metaphysics (ontology, epistemology). I've been reading alot of Theosophical stuff lately. I'm really interested in mysticism, occult science, escoteric symbolism/traditions. Here's some authors I like: Whitley Strieber, Plato, Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Kafka, Descartes, Noam Chomsky, Madame Blavatsky, Ouspensky, Joseph Campbell, Philip K. Dick, Machiavelli, Aldous Huxley, George Orwell, Aleister Crowley... I tend to read alot of online texts (they're free!) and check out stuff from the library. I spend alot of late nights reading things on The Internet Sacred Texts Archive (sacred-texts.com), The Hermetic Library (hermetic.com), Znet (zmag.org), E-Text (e-text.org), Unknown Country (unknowncountry.com)...
My mom. She's been through alot of shit in her life, more loneliness, suffering, pressure and anxiety than any human being should have to deal with. On one hand she's fiercly independent and self-assured, on the other she's trusting, vulnerable and forgiving - an almost impossible combination. She's honest, sincere, compassionate, sympathetic, determined and above all, she's devoted to her family and loved ones. I'm blessed to know her.
My dad left her with 3 boys, absolutely no money, a house payment, bills, debt, utterly demoralized, depressed and alone. We went on food-stamps. We couldn't afford new clothes or shoes or anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. But thanks to her determination and devotion we always had Love and Family. We didn't go hungry, but it was bleak. I can only imagine how many nights she cried herself to sleep, teetering on the edge of hopelessness. But little by little, day by day, she found ways to make things better, she took care of us, she planned, went to school, worked and scraped her way up, dragging 3 angry and confused boys with her. On her own, but for us. To this day she is concerned first and foremost not with her own desires and wants, but with the welfare and comfort of those she loves. Nothing is more deserving of respect than selflessness.
Not many people have someone like her in their lives and a lot of times I feel that I don't deserve to either. I don't know if this is how everyone feels about their mom, but I'm convinced that anyone who meets or has met her would agree with me. Without people like my mother in it, this life and world would be a worthless endeavour - there would be no reason to believe that this sick, perverted, psychotic humanity is worth the time and effort required for empathy or salvation at all.