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| Maya |

mikeymattea

About Me

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”
-Buddha
♦
On August 8, 2007 I lost my
Best friend.
My hero.
My brown eyed gypsy.
This little fairy.
My mother.
♦
“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”
Oscar Wilde
♦
♦
i have my baby sister. i'll love you for ever, i'll like you for always. as long as i'm living my baby you'll be... always and forever. you come first. please be okay. i love you.
♦
"The stars are all my friends
Till the nighttime ends
So I know I'm not alone
When I'm here, on my own.
Isn't that a wonder?
When you're alone
You're not alone
Not really alone"
-Hook
♦
♦
i love spiders. don't kill them please. you're certainly not that important.
♦
I love tiger.
♦
To those of you who deal with alot, there is a difference between surviving and living.
♥I love you more than you love me ♥
♦I am much more concerned with the questions I ask, than the answers I receive.♦
Fat and Skinny had a race
All around the pillowcase
Fat fell down and broke her face.
Skinny said, "Ha-ha,
I won the race."

My Interests

These are my happy thoughts.

♦"You know that place between sleep and awake? That place you can still remember your dreams? That's where I'll always love you."
♦"To die would be a grand adventure."
♦"Young boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older."

I'd like to meet:

♦ Well, you of course! Amedeo Modigliani, see sketches below... I'm getting the third one tattooed between my shoulder blades.
Gustav Klimt
Vincent Van Gogh
Tamara De Lempicka
Paul Gauguin
Pablo Picasso
Salvador Dali
♦Varekai in Seattle. My home away from home. I do miss working for the circus. Very much..♦

♦by MmiT. MmiT = TimM
.i just want to be left alone. then i won't have to be dissapointed when you say the wrong thing.
/ no worries. smile.

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Music:


Coralie Clement.
♥
The Frames.
Keren Ann.
Fugazi.
Carla Bruni.
David Bowie.
The Pogues.
Bloc Party
The Cure.
Damien Rice.
Radiohead.
The Presets.
Love & Rockets.
Oxmo Puccino.
The Dresden Dolls.
Manau.
Elliott Smith.
Arctic Monkeys.
Charles Trenet.
The Toy Dolls.
IAM.
Archive.
Paulo Conte.
Jorane.
Modest Mouse.
Deep Forest.
Odd world music.

Movies:


♥Hook- Oh yes.♥
Labyrinth- I can find within seconds at any video store. Like intuition.
Rocky Horror Picture Show-Who doesn't love men in lingerie.
Sex and Lucia-Beautiful. Amazing
Party Monster-I have an obsession with Macaulay Culkin's upper lip.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang-Mmm. Of course.
See No Evil, Hear No Evil-Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor. Hello!
Fight Club-Well, that's obvious.
Igby goes down-Much truth.
American Beauty-Eek.
In America-Human.
Requiem For a Dream-Too close for comfort.

Television:

Globe Trekker!
Discovery Atlas
House Hunters Internationalp

Books:

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. Holy Blood, Holy Grail by Michael Baigent. Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll (now that's literary genius). The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury. Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Doomsday Conspiracy by Sidney Sheldon. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. The Puzzle Palace by James Bamford.

Heroes:

Mmm... My family. Women who carry themselves well.
Guys who forget to play the game and just laugh.
Candice Olson. Samantha Brown. Chelsea Handler.
Amedeo Modigliani. Edward Furlong.
Vincent Van Gogh. I adore Alan Cumming. Anyone who smiles as a default.

Omayhra Mota-Garcia. A face worth looking at. Go to this website. Amazing photographs by Ellen Von Unwerth of Omayhra Mota and her boyfriend. BEAUTIFUL. http://home.frognet.net/~mcfadden/evu/Ellen_von_Unwerth_Omah yra_Boyd.htm ♥i wish i was the girl people wanted to get to know. ♥

"No one counts until they're dead."

My Blog

Just believe.

If there's anything more accurate as to what my thoughts are about my mother dying than the quote below, it would be uncanny. I can always feel okay with these thoughts: Peter Llewelyn Davies: It...
Posted by | Maya | on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 12:58:00 PST

Mommy. I’m okay, for you.

You died. August 8th. And I miss you so much. Every time I'm excited my first thought is "I have to call Momma!".   I think it'll take me awhile to stop thinking that one. It's like a flutter of ...
Posted by | Maya | on Fri, 21 Sep 2007 07:46:00 PST

Find me. I'm hiding and I got lost. I don't know where I am.

the scars stare up at me.and the weight whispers to me.my mom smiles at me. but only behind this reflection of who i hate to be.her countdown reminds me how fast i have to find another reason to live ...
Posted by | Maya | on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:07:00 PST

.

i never get to be the girl people get to know.  i never get to be the girl people care for. i'm the short term love interest. the girl in everyones top 8 for no reason.  a face they know no...
Posted by | Maya | on Mon, 07 May 2007 01:04:00 PST

this isn't fair.

..> this isn't fair. This isn't fair. I want to have an eating disorder again. I was better. I was thinner. I was happier. Yeah. By far. I was happier.   By a long shot.  I'm healthy t...
Posted by | Maya | on Thu, 03 May 2007 10:01:00 PST

The best explanation of me I could give.

she is my ballerina in black. she holds enough power and intrigue to get away with torturing my every thought. she prances and giggles at her best moments. in the background. tickling my mind and se...
Posted by | Maya | on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 08:10:00 PST

For those of you who ask and I won't tell...

March 7. Interstate. Kaiser. My least favorite place ever.  Too much time spent alone in serious situations waiting to hear about her and what's wrong this time. Wondering who I'll call cause I'm...
Posted by | Maya | on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:09:00 PST

i don't wanna see what i'm missing anymore.

all i want.   is to be left alone.   i'm tired of hurting people and i'm tired of getting hurt.   don't try to be close to me. it hurts. CAUSE I CAN'T.   please. just let me be al...
Posted by | Maya | on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 12:53:00 PST

I'm not ready.

don't leave just yet. i want to hear you laugh one more time. i want to play hide and go seek again. i want to have a fight. i'd give anything to sit on your lap. and correct you when you read me sto...
Posted by | Maya | on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:55:00 PST

Merry Go Round.

i wish for the world to stop spinning so fast. i can't adjust with each rotation. let me take a breath. a breath without the sharp sudden seize in my chest. i dizzy. my sense turns upside down. thing...
Posted by | Maya | on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:40:00 PST