I am comfortably numb how many of you can relate? I do this when things go from bad to worse I fall into this state.
I dont want to feel joy cause then I can feel pain. I dont need a drink or a pill to live on this plain.
I want to feel nothing for the sake of my clan. I am comfortable numb and feel no shame for its who I am.
Myspace music and homeschooling my kids.
People who understand what its like to be me.You know when you are in a gym in high school and there is a basket ball game or something like that going on? Thats how loud and how much the boys move when we play ABC GO fish. I have to make them finish playing the game cause they just cant sit there anymore God knows I wish they didnt have seizures so they could be put back on the adhd meds. So they could do anything for more than 20 min. Enjoy life but they cant they are all over the place all they time. We didnt even get video games until the Christmas they were 6 or 7. To see them PLAY with anything was a joy. Do you know how painful it is to watch your kids pick up toy after toy and just look at them but never play with them? Do you know what thats like? Do you know what its like to get on the ground with your kids and show them HOW to play with a car but for them to look at you and it blankly? DO you know what its like to have to spend over a year with flash cards of their ABC's 1-10 colors and shapes everyday a few times a day and have them go a whole year in kindergarten and still miss letters? Do you know what its like to have your kids come home from school crying because nobody will play with them because they are retards? Or to see them talk to other people who clearly dont care what they are saying but they keep going? Do you know what its like to watch your younger child by 2 years pass the older ones up both in learning and social development? Are you going to have to explain to your children why this is happening? Do you have to sit here and watch your almost 9 year old sing and dance to the wonder pets but cant understand most of what he is saying? I dont think anyone knows how hard it is to see your own children struggle so hard and me have to fight so hard to get them as far as they are because I dont have help I dont have doctors who care I dont have experts telling me what I need to do to help them. All i have is me and I do the best I can for them everyday. Dont past judgment or give me opinions unless you can grasp the concept of what this is like.
Blue October,tool,korn,jewel,three days grace,slipknot,No Doubt, AFI,everlast, The exies,Mighty mighty bostones, real big fish,NIN,Pantera,RHCP,Seether,Staind,System of a down,and many more. I might not like all songs by all these people but I like at least one song by each of them. a
Not a big fan of movies mostly cause I cant sit through one with out a kid needing something. I did like the Lake house and Saw didnt care for saw 2 all that much.
CSI,House,family guy and food net work.
I love to read. I will read just about anything and I read hella fast well over 200 words per minute.