Bannister Slash profile picture

Bannister Slash

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

About Me

greetings and salutations.

bannister slash is a little band from new jersey in the united states. america is kick ass. it's our government that sucks. that's ok: bannister slash sucks, too.
los bannistero slasho (as they are known in south america and south florida) takes great pride in raining on people's parades. bannister slash gets filthy drunk and plays way too fucking loud until one of them passes out, a good ole fashioned fistfight breaks out, or the cops bust up their good times. bannister slash will swarm on any motherfucker in a blue uniform.
bannister slash likes to play their lousy music in people's garages, hidden tourture chambers and filthy ass basements. if there's beer and chicks, bannister slash will be there. bannister slash has been known to "perform" at inaugural galas, pajama parties, party palaces, satanic rituals and whorehouses. no one likes bannister slash. they are their own biggest fans.
bannister slash's drummer once punched the singer in the face for trying to give it to his girl doggystyle in high school. he got over it and the band was formed in 1990. this was a long time ago. hair bands, wine coolers and mullets were popular. new jersey invented them all.
bannister slash summons their good pal satan to come to their gigs for moral support. if you're not down with beelzebub (a.k.a. 'chief lieutenant of lucifer,' 'the emperor of hell'), you won't like bannister slash. and they won't like you. this includes you, citizens of south dakota.
bannister slash likes writing songs about fat kids, retards, drinking, high-rise fires, cockroaches, stupid presidents, eating brains, bad teeth, terrorists, and having non-committal sex with swingers they meet on myspace.
if bannister slash likes you, they'll write a song about you. and it will rock... or suck. this, of course, will depend on how much hearing loss you've endured in your life.
so, steal their shitty songs and tell your friends how fucking terrible they are. bannister slash likes that shit. horns-up, you rotten motherfuckers.
got something else on your mind, numbnuts? hit bannister slash up here, or email them at: bannister slash
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wait! check this out, bitches!

why don't you watch bannister slash's video for "they creep up on you." it's a song about motherfucking bugs. there's fire, an old man dying and crickets and shit. it's the dumbest fucking thing you'll ever see:

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 2/17/2006
Band Members:


Dr. Jack "Gonzo" Torrance: Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Programming, Bushmills Irish Whiskey, Canadian Beer, Pornography


Golden Boy: Vocals, Drums, Bass, Coors Light


Pork Roll Taylor: The Riffmaster General, Lead Guitar, Producer, Vodka

Honorary members
Yngrich J. Logsteen : Guitar, Attitude, Masterful Arpeggios
Space Lord Dave "Stonewall" Ulrich and His Magic Eye : Guitar, Beer, Cocaine, Crown Royal, 4-Wheelin', Chicks
Jay "Surf Boy" Davidson: Big waves, surfboards, hot chicks, background vocals
Uncle Kenny, Go-Kart Wizard: Background Vocals (R.I.P.)
Johnny Appleseed : Co-Director of the "They Creep Up On You" video, Screwdrivers, Ouija boards, J&B Scotch Whiskey
Al "Brain Freeze" Doxzon: Captain & Founder, New Jersey Mosh Patrol (R.I.P.)
Jim "Stupid" Mulcahy: It's too bad he's dead
Influences:

Satan.

Bannister Slash bows before: Slayer, S.O.D., Pantera, M.O.D., Billy Milano, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Amethyst, Vertigo, Autumn Silence, Jet Black & Jealous, Sepultura, Mucky Pup, Dead Milkmen, Dead Kennedys, Bad Brains, old Anthrax, old Metallica, Public Enemy, N.W.A., Mike Funt, Testament, Megadeth, Motorhead, GWAR, Flotsam & Jetsam, Entombed, Carcass, Morbid Angel, the Beastie Boys, Clutch, Deadly Blessing, Without Warning, Fates Warning, Green Day, Hatebreed, Helloween, KISS, KoRn's first album, Nirvana, Overkill, Lizzy Borden, Forbidden, Crimson Glory, Dio, White Zombie, Primus, Pink Floyd, Queensryche, Rage Against The Machine, Andrew Dice Clay, Sanctuary, Soundgarden, Van Halen, W.A.S.P., Weezer, Life Sex And Death, and booze (mmm, it tastes so good on the lips).
Sounds Like: A cat getting beat to death with a frying pan.
Type of Label: None

My Blog

New songs...

Hey bitches, We're hitting the studio this weekend (10/21/06) to start pounding out a few new Bannister Slash tunes for you to vomit over. Some of the new songs include "Room 237," "Hitoshi Nikaidoh,"...
Posted by Bannister Slash on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 12:01:00 PST