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jordan

About Me

I was born in Austin, Texas and shortly after moved to the small town of Marble Falls. After graduation I traveled the globe in pursuit of the meaning of life. Backpacking alone across foreign countries I would encounter ruthless attackers who would attempt to exploit my language barrier as a sign of weakness and steal what little money I had. However, they were unaware that I was highly trained in various forms of martial arts including Hapkido and Iaido. Often times I would end up defending myself and continue my journey. Unfortunately, while making my way across Eastern Japan, I was seized by the mysterious Kamakura Bakufu Clan. Apparently they were holding a kung-fu tournament that would not only decide the fate of the universe, but also reward the victor with four-thousand dollars. Although some of the competitors were rumored to possess supernatural abilities and immortality, I quickly defeated them all and saved the world. I used my prize money to buy some studio time and record a few demos with my Pop-Rock band, Jalapeno Jordan and The Picante-Cobras. Soon after we were signed to Universal records and went platinum in Germany. It was then, after the sweet taste of success that I realized I still had not found the meaning of it all. I did a little more soul-searching and came to the conclusion that there are some things we are not meant to understand. So, after completely circling the globe I find myself back in Austin, Tx spending my time teaching blind children how to read braille. MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

Music, drumming, hiking, reading, the Spurs, renting movies and accidentally returning them to the wrong Blockbuster.

Music:

Bob Schneider, The Scabs, Smashing Pumpkins, Ben Harper, Ryan Adams, Damien Rice, Deathcab, The Streets, Ben Kweller, Bloc Party, Eels, Something Corporate, Jack's Mannequin, John Legend, Butch Walker, The Roots, Beck, Imogen Heap, Athlete, The Academy is, Citizen Cope, Dan Dyer, Rachel Yamagata, The Beatles, Joshua Radin, Billy Harvey, The Flaming Lips, The Strokes, Joseph Arthur, The Format, Tv on the Radio, Robin Thicke, Old 97's, Ghostface Killah, MF Doom, Wu-Tang, The Roots, Jay-z, Nas, Chamillionaire.

Movies:

FIGHT CLUB, RUSHMORE, Snatch, Eternal Sunshine, Love Actually, American Psycho. I really like classic movies too.

Television:

Scrubs, South Park, Entourage, Nip/Tuck, Arrested Development The Daily Show, Stand-up comedy, CNN, The History Channel, and Sanford and Son. When I was little Red Foxx used to scare me because he sounded like a frog. He still sounds like a frog, it just no longer scares me.

Books:

The Footprints of God, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, and Harry Potter of course.

Heroes:

John Lennon

My Blog

The Red Ring of Death

    T-minus 9 hrs 53minutes until Halo 3 and my Xbox360 just decided to die.  Suck my balls Microsoft........suck my balls.
Posted by jordan on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:14:00 PST

300

In case you were wondering, the subject of this blog has nothing to do with the recent dvd release of 300.  There are no stylized beheadings or visually enchanced shirtless Spartans in this blog....
Posted by jordan on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 09:23:00 PST

Do not read this unless you have seen The Departed.

    LAST CHANCE!  If you have not seen The Departed then I would kindly exit this blog before the ending is completely spoiled.....................still with me?  Good.  ...
Posted by jordan on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 08:29:00 PST

The Definition of Irony

    Irony(iro-ny): 1. The use of words to express something other than the opposite of the literal meaning.2  A stressed out Jordan buying a peaceful, relaxing Zen fountain on...
Posted by jordan on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:52:00 PST

Attention everyone!

   If you are in a band or know someone who is: listen up.  I can pretty much assure you the quickest way to get me to resent everything about you from the overly-ambitious emo music yo...
Posted by jordan on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 07:51:00 PST

I'M A HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I properly executed a heimlich maneuver on a choking person!!!!!HOLLA!!!!!!............more details later.
Posted by jordan on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:10:00 PST

Blue Suede Blues

  If you're a fellow clutz like myself you may be familiar with this trick:  You're in the initial stages of dropping something and just when it is slipping through your fingers you instinci...
Posted by jordan on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 06:00:00 PST

Short, Sweet, but Definitely Not Blunt.

   If you are currently on your laptop, cozied up in a bathroom, and hoping for a lengthy read:1. That's pretty gross.2. Why are you looking at my myspace with your pants down?3. You're out ...
Posted by jordan on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 07:22:00 PST

The Unbelievable Tooth

            Few things in this complicated life are certain. Some of these limited certanties include : 1. Hot air rises. 2. Pi will always  = 3.14159265 3. People ...
Posted by jordan on Wed, 03 May 2006 08:42:00 PST

Let's boycott the Olympics - Who's with me?

      I not sure if any of you are aware of it, but the Olympics are back in full effect for that ass. Of course, if you weren't aware of it, that would mean you live under so...
Posted by jordan on Sun, 12 Feb 2006 08:04:00 PST