vampire with a paper route profile picture

vampire with a paper route

If you spray me again and I'm not on fire I'm selling you to a state college."

About Me

deez nutz under construction. haha, remember that shit??

Here we have a couple of videos that I think everyone should watch. I mean they're fuckin' hilarious. But then my sense of humor isn't the same as everyone else's. So screw you.. Just watch em.

Instant Message Titanic Titanic got pwned!

The Day my Wife met My Girlfriend Hard to feel sorry for the guy.

Don..t Forget Your Protection It might break the mood, but it..s the right thing to do.

My Interests

pain in the ass. Get it? General pain in the ass. Honestly I think my subtle yet dry humor is lost on most people. Or is it just me? I have found recently that other Aquarius' understand my dry comedy. So there. =P

I'd like to meet:

I love meeting new people. I make a point to introduce myself to anyone I don't know. Well, I do when I'm within a certain distance from the person. If they're not in the same general area as I am, it'll have to wait. Or if it's at a big store or supermarket. I don't go around just shakin' hands or nothin'. Besides, when I'm in those stores, I get what I want and I'm out. I don't dilly-dally. I am a guy. We don't shop, we buy shit and move on.
I Have A Type B+ Personality
I'm a pro at going with the flow
I love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
I'm a total joy to be around, people crave my stability.

While I'm totally laid back, I can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project I love, and I won't stop until it's done
I'm passionate - just selective about my passions

If this was anymore dead on it would be fucking scary.

Music:

P.O.S., SafetySuit, Coheed and Cambria, Incubus, Unwritten Law, Finch, Matisyahu, Alien Ant Farm, Deftones, Glassjaw, Hawthorne Heights, Gorillaz, Thrice, Taking Back Sunday, Papa Roach, 311, Chevelle, The Streets, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nickelback, Taproot, Aerosmith, Phil Collins (shut ur mouth), Brand New, Trapt, The Ataris, Jimmy Eat World, Postal Service, and Less than Jake. Warsaw rocks pretty hard. Gotta love the bagpipes. Divide the Day also, is this cool local Colton band that plays at Schooner's sometimes.

Movies:

Fifth Element and Braveheart are two of the best movies ever made!! I can of course watch Anchorman and Bruce Almighty a million times and never get bored. Tho I hear Evan Almighty is not that great.. As well, Dodgeball, Serenity, Dawn of the Dead, Batman Begins, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Dick and Jane. Everything Tarantino and anything action packed or funny as hell. Zombie movies!! Gotta be a good laugh, an awesome explosion, or some freakin nudity.

Television:

Torrents and DVR. Stansdad.com

Books:

Nothings Sacred (Lewis Black's book), The Last Temptation of Christ, The Satanic Bible, Prey, Eaters of the Dead, Terminal Man, State of Fear, Airframe, Jurassic Park, pretty much anything by Michael Crichton, The Lord of The Rings, The Hobbit. Trying to find a copy of J.R. Tolkien's other book. Think its The Simallirion. Not sure how its spelled. Too lazy to google.

Heroes:

(Dave Navarro and Carmen are no longer together, so sad. *cheers!*) Gavin Rossdale. Lucky son-of-a-bitch. Whoever finally gets George W. Bush out of office. HA HA!! The mother fu*k*r who got Brande Nicole Roderick to marry him. SOAB!!!!1 Your mom. But mine rocks too. Love ya mom. My dad is Dickly Lately.

My Blog

Man Rule

THE MAN RULES¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY , THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.) WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES" FROM THE F...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 09:54:00 PST

My First Tattoo

1. Have you ever cried during a tattoo?Not a bit. I was diggin it.2. When did you get your first tattoo?July 2nd. About 10pm.3. What was your first tattoo?The Japanese symbol for the Aquarius zodiac...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 09:36:00 PST

Zeitgeist Movie

Everyone should watch this.  But it's entirely up to you.  I warn you now its a real movie.  Bout 2 hours, so get some popcorn and get comfy.Zeitgeist Movie...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 12:39:00 PST

Ode To My Guardian Angel

Ode To My Guardian Angel - Anonymous (thnx Lauren)   My guardian angel Needs a paid vacation. The poor guy Deserves a standing ovation. I've driven as fast As he can fly I've done things ...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 11:26:00 PST

Funniest commercial ever

I may be alone on this, but I'm hoping I'm not.  This has got to be one of the funniest commercial's I have ever seen in my life.  A lot of the super bowl commercial's were good, some were r...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 10:49:00 PST

GlobalOrgasm.org

GlobalOrgasm.org Mission StatementThe mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are ...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 09:52:00 PST

Shenanigans

Shenanigans.  I just like the word.  It's funny to say outloud of course.  But for some reason to me it also looks weird in type.  Makes me laugh.  So I thought I'd share in c...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 02:41:00 PST

Net Neutrality

Watch this video then get with the program people. Send this to everyone. I don't wanna be told by my ISP what site's I can and cannot visit because they wanna make money. Paying them to access the in...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 01:39:00 PST

Guess what i got this morning...

    An expired driver's license.  But it's no longer suspended.  So I just gotta take the written test and pay some fee's and I finally have my driver's license back. &nb...
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:59:00 PST

I dig it

Bringin' it back bitches!
Posted by vampire with a paper route on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 12:02:00 PST