There are a lot of people on here pretending to be me. Don't believe them, they're posers. I'll bet they don't even know my last name, the losers (it's Ecgtheowing, if you were wondering)
I'm actually far older than 100 but the bloody thing doesn't let you say you were born before 1906. I was born in 495 which makes me 1511, that's older than you.
Anyway, when I was 17 King Hrothgar was having some trouble with a monster named Grendel. The thing would come every night and eat someone and everybody was to scared of to go outside at night. I heard about it and me and a bunch of my buddies went and I killed the thing (Ok, I actually didn't kill it, I tore his arm off and he crawled back to his mommy and bled to death). Then Grendel's mother got really pissed at me and came and ate one of Hrothgar's best friends so I followed her to a lake, swam down to her and Grendel's Hall at the bottom and tackled her. I almost got myself killed because my sword broke on her iron hard skin but I found an incredibly awesome magic sword forged by the Eotain (giants) in the hall and killed her with that. Grendel's body was there so I lobbed of the head and brought it back to Hrothgar.
After all that drama, I went back to Geatland and became a king. It was fun and I reigned peacefully for 50 years but then this Dragon had to come and settle near my place. For a while he was all into burning farms and devouring virgins and stealing treasure and all that dragony sort of stuff but he settled down pretty quickly and just lived off bunny rabbits and other forest creatures. But then some guy decided to take a goblet from the Dragon's treasure and the thing got really pissed and started burning stuff again so me and thirteen guys went to go kill the it but all of them freaked out and hid in the trees leaving me and Wiglaf to fight the Dragon by ourselves and I bloody got killed.
So now I'm dead (and have been for the last thousand years) and I got a myspace. It's kind of boring being dead, you know. I'm really glad they finally get internet in Valhalla now, took them long enough. I mean, drinking mead and flirting with the valkyre is fun but it gets old after about a thousand years.
