Jordan profile picture

Jordan

theoneandonlyjoller

About Me


A few things I hate:
1. When people clap when they laugh
2. When people can't sit still and be quiet during movies
3. People who are perpetually giddy
4. Intellectual junk food served up with a transparent agenda
5. Mexican food
6. Hard water spots on my car
7. Family Guy
8. People who think watching and being obsessed with "LOST" means they're smart. Hey, you watch a show that twelve million other average Americans sit down and watch every week. Congratu-fucking-lations!
9. DirecTV
10. The Lord of the Rings movies
11. Political Correctness
12. High profile people getting away with everything
13. Partisan politics
14. People who are unequivocally against everything that's "mainstream"
15. Riding in a car with a driver who honestly doesn't have a fucking clue how to drive
16. Keith Olbermann
. Watch the single most pathetic segment of television in the history of broadcasting 17. San Jose
18. Masochist Americans
19. College basketball
20. Crushed ice
Further additions as events warrant.
Oh, and excessively negative people.

My Interests

American history, esp. the Federal period. I'm also really into the Civil War right now. sports, politics, philosophy, reading, albums released before I was born. Playing Call of Duty 4.

I'd like to meet:

Jesus, my Grandpa Dave, and Lacey Chabert.

Music:

1930s:
Robert Johnson
1950s:
Marvin Berry and the Starlighters
1960s:
The Beatles
The Beach Boys
Deep Purple
The Doors
Led Zeppelin
Pink Floyd
1970s: Aerosmith
Bad Company
Black Sabbath
Boston
The Cars
Heart
John Lennon
Queen
Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow
Van Halen
1980s: Dio
Guns N' Roses
1990s:
Matchbox 20
2000s:
Muse
Silvertide

Ultimate Band: Freddie Mercury-Lead Vocals, Jimmy Page-Lead Guitar, Paul McCartney-Bass and vocals, Keith Moon-Drums, David Gilmour-Rhythm guitar and vocals

Movies:

The Departed, Minority Report, Batman Begins, Air Force One, Back to the Future trilogy, The Brady Bunch Movie, Star Wars, The Bourne movies, Happy Gilmore, Zodiac. Who really can list all of the movies they like?The worst movie I've ever seen is Signs.

Television:

John Adams,24, Pardon the Interruption, Around The Horn, Three's Company, NFL Live, Tucker before it got canceled, Race for the White House with David Gregory, Real Time with Bill Maher, Hardball with Chris Matthews, Sportscenter, Stump the Schwab , The Munsters, Jay Leno, World's Wildest Police Videos, World's Most Amazing Videos, MythBusters, and the Magic Bullet infomercial.

LOST is the biggest joke on TV.

Books:

The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall
Animal Farm by George Orwell
The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Thomas Jefferson: Author of America by Christopher Hitchens
Founding Brothers by Joseph Ellis
Why My Wife Thinks I'm An Idiot by Mike Greenberg
Joshua by Joseph Girzone
Ender's Shadow by Orson Scott Card
Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
1776 by David McCullough
A Tragic Legacy by Glenn Greenwald

Sports Illustrated and EGM

Currently reading: Battle Cry of Freedom by James McPherson. This one could take a while.

Heroes:

The dude who sits in front of the row next to me in Astronomy and the Dictabird from the Flintstones movie.

My Blog

A useful tactic

The internet is abuzz with a video of Miss South Carolina giving a hilariously incoherent answer to a question about pitiful statistics regarding Americans' knowledge of world geography.  While i...
Posted by Jordan on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 01:47:00 PST

What is "real"?

I've been annoying the hell out of anyone with Calvin and Hobbes strip just about every day over the last week.   If you don't know, the "gimmick" of the comic strip is that Hobbes appears as a l...
Posted by Jordan on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 10:25:00 PST

Michael Vick

I'm not even going to bother trying to make this one articulate: If Michael Vick weren't black would anybody be trying to do backflips through hoops to find the slightest hint of justification for thi...
Posted by Jordan on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:10:00 PST

Things are never so bad that they can’t get worse

A long time ago, I ran over a cat when I was driving home at night.  I felt horrible about it.  I wished I hadn't run over the cat.  Then I realized, if I hadn't run over the cat, I wou...
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 22 Aug 2007 12:01:00 PST

DirecTV Sucks

One of my receivers stopped working, so I called and asked about it, and they told me that that model had a known defect. So they said they'd send me a replacement for three-hundred bucks, or a free ...
Posted by Jordan on Tue, 14 Aug 2007 06:44:00 PST

A Brilliant Exchange of Ideas

Person A: NASCAR is not a sport!Person B: NASCAR is a sport!  If you sweat, its a sport!Person A: So mowing the lawn is a sport?Person C: Yup, and for fat guys their whole life's a sport....
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 11:11:00 PST

The Worst Movie Ever?

What do you call a movie that has a razor-thin premise that is agonizingly stretched out to two hours by filling it with formulaic family drama scenes and ham-fisted messages about faith, that is horr...
Posted by Jordan on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 07:39:00 PST

Why Sgt. Pepper's Is The Most Overrated Album of All Time

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band has been named the greatest album of all time in numerous industry journalist polls, most prominently in Rolling Stone in 2003.  In this Beatle fan's opinion...
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:21:00 PST

"This is the instructional video that gets results!"

I would guess the shelf life of a television commercial is about 4-6 months.There is, however, one commercial that just wont die.All I have to do is mention Major League Baseball superstar Fred McGrif...
Posted by Jordan on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 06:31:00 PST