Linthicum Heights, M.B.A.L.

About Me

I was raised beneath an underpass in Kuala Lumpur by a pair of surly chimneysweeps. I attended The Woodbine School of Earth on a field hockey scholarship, and eventually graduated with degrees in both law and remedial mummification. I then wandered the globe accumulating the arts of fish scaling, ninjitsu and erotic taxidermy. Today I practice law in Satansville and bake very expensive, exotic muffins for the social elite. I have no outstanding warrats in this state.

My Interests

Digging in the Dirt with Spoons, Kayaking, Scheisterism and the Art of the Flim-Flam, the art of Jeremy Fish, Oddities of the Animal Kingdom, the Victorian Era, Surgical Disasters and Shapely Bottoms.

I'd like to meet:

Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Bourdain, Dave Attel and Neil Armstrong.

Music:

Fast-forward Recordings of Gastro-Intestinal Rumblings, The Allstar Albino League of Mexican Bagpipers and Unknown Hinson.

Movies:

"Sleepwalking Through the Mekong", "Poultrygeist", "Stop...Or My Mom Will Shoot"

Television:

" Columbo", Oh,boy .... That Peter Falk, he's some fella. I also watch alot of "Retardid Cop" on YouTube.

Books:

"Alchemy and Hermetic Symbols", "The Autobiography of Roan Stallion : Stand-up Comedian, Necrophile, Patriot", " The Watchmen", " Madlibs Do-it-yourself Erotic Novellas"

Heroes:

Auctioneers, because they talk so fast and the Grim Reaper, because he makes people dead.