White Dopes On Punk

Alrite, i'm Rik & i wake up rambling on about milk
& here's the story of how the earth came to be. But a much more true to life version.
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, " What is it?" "It's a planet, " replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, " For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?" "Ah, " said God. "That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, six Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth" Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the bunch of twats I’ve put down in the south”
I'm a northerner, and Yorkshire and the North West is where i belong. Its where we appreciate the finer things in life:
1. Why chips should be bought from a chippy, and eaten between two lumps of bread.
2. What a real council estate looks like.
3. Why Margaret Thatcher really was a complete idiot.
I'm at university, and if theres one thing i've learn't here its that if you live below Birmingham your house probably spans across 4 of the home counties, you eat food with ingredients in that i can neither spell nor pronounce, and that your vote in an election counts for more than mine does.
This place is home 30 weeks a year. If you fail to see why i love this place, get your eyes tested:
Don't be put off though, i'm actually a nice guy, i don't fuck people about because its shit, and no one deserves that.
Come this far without viewing my pictures or relationship status? Well, firstly i don't blame you, and secondly, i'm taken, very happy and 100% loyal... make
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DRINK OF THE MONTH!:
And im a Leeds United fan until the day i die
and Leeds Rhinos, much to the delight of most people in St Helens.