Jocelyn profile picture

Jocelyn

Don't look at us with pity; look at us with pride.

About Me

Hi my name is Jocelyn, and I tend to meet guys that break my heart and girls who are complete morons. So I’d like to meet people who are not and have never been assholes. And it would be really nice to actually physically meet people on this thang. I know, it's a radical idea, a world outside your computer. I’m an environmental technician and I love it because I can usually make boring jobs fun. So when I’m not emasculating men, getting wasted or just being fucking awesome, I love to watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Yeah, I know smoking is bad for you but I enjoy delicious cigarettes, alcohol, snorting Keith Richards' dead Grandfathers ashes, or all three at once. ;-) My new diet obsession is Nutrisystem because throwing up everything I eat is soooo last year! For the past 5 summers I had worked at a cub scout camp but having a real job kind of puts me outta that. I'll really miss all the wacked out fucking people I met and the even wackier kids! In my free time I read books, mags, or watch adultswim. I used to be an Xbox junkie but until they put out a new Sims game that goddamn things a bookend. I'm currently obsessed with the Sims 2 and The Sims Life Stories for pc, however. I have a new favorite author and her name is Mary Janice Davidson, but I'm not giving up Laurell K yet. If you’re a fan of vampire/romance/comedies you should definitely read her. Im also a Spc. in the Army National Guard, and we would all drink and smoke less if we weren’t in the Guard. Seriously, our company motto should be "Get Crunk!" not "Drive On!" We got deployed to Iraq and I can't even explain to you how much that sucks. I moved from The Dirty to Bethlefuck a couple years ago and so far, so good. How can I describe Bethlehem? I can't because nothing ever happens here! Alright, formalities are over, holla at ya fuckin' girl on AOl IM-------------------- celynwmn1689
Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Mini black & pink skulls

My Interests

i like dancing, camping, shopping, watching movies, burning cds, bullshittin, driving around, hiking, white water rafting, getting my smoke on, drinking, flashing passerby, embarassing my friends, telling people off if they deserve it, saying no to asshole ex-boyfriends, making my own halloween costumes, re-upholstering furniture (Pimp chair),inciting riots, making people laugh, stealing candy from babies, all sorts of animals. especially kittays, luv em to death. skiing is cool, i always wanted to learn how to snowboard. i like iceskating, but watching is often better than doin it. oooh did i mention i thoroughly enjoy breakin' shit! glass, preferably.

I'd like to meet:

people who cry listening to delilah people who dont know who delilah is people who get high too often or not often enough people who drive around at night for no reason people who like porn people who visit porn stores people who think their lives suck people whose lives are about to suck girls who can put their own car stereos in people who like tarantino anyone who hates their ex girls who have never worn a skirt guys who wear kilts anyone that writes poetry people who can read but would rather play videogames people who smoke too many cigarettes people who do self destructive things just to feel people who watch the stars at night people who havent been to times square on new years eve anyone who thinks lust at first sight is better than love at first sight girls with ghetto booty and guys that can appreciate a big ass people who say 'mad' and 'ill' in everyday conversation people who can say more by not saying anything at all evil people sarcastic people perverted people hippies commies cynics rockers preps dancers lovers fighters and more importantly, people you cannot even begin to define.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jocelyn!

    Jocelyn is the world's smallest mammal.A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but Jocelyn can not.The risk of being struck by Jocelyn is one occurence every 9,300 years.Only twelve people have ever set foot on Jocelyn.South Australia was the first place to allow Jocelyn to stand for parliament.You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Jocelyn to reach the earth's core.The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Jocelyn would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used her to decorate their battle shields.Jocelyn can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.A lump of Jocelyn the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!The most dangerous form of Jocelyn is the bicycle.
I am interested in - do tell me about

Music:

janes addiction, tori amos, ani difranco,britney spears ( yea i know), ludacris, marley, madonna, incubus, a perfect circle, tool, sugar ray,boy hits car,kelis,michael jackson ( before he started molesting kids), sheryl crow,aaliyah, lit, at the drive-in, unwritten law, g-unit, soundtracks to tarantino movies, radiohead, dj rob d, sevendust, the might mighty bosstones, red hot chili peppers, filter, ciara, lost prophets, morrison poe, velvet revolver, fuel, stone temple pilots, audioslave, bonnie mckee, mariah carey, the pharcyde, zero 7, cat power, deep purple, led zeppelin, def leppard, dj zinc, dj envy, e-40.

Movies:

braveheart, my best friends wedding, goodfellas, scarface, supertroopers, austin powers, finding nemo, the matrix, resident evil ,pulp fiction, lost in translation, reservoir dogs, ghost world, pitch black, scary movie, kill bill 1&2, saturday night fever, dazed and confused, die hard, natural born killers, half-baked, fear and loathing in las vegas, less than zero, clerks 1&2, accepted, lucky number slevin.
What swear word are you?
Full Name
Age
Your word of choice Cunt
Why you swear You have a lot of anger that needs to come out.
Your motto Wow, how'd you get you head so far up your ASS?!

This QuickKwiz by Thy Beloved - Taken 42 Times. Make Money Taking Surveys!

Television:

Last comic standing, clean house, daria, family guy, futurama, vh1's i love the 70's 80's etc., the daily show with jon stewart, late nite with conan o' brien. animal cops and animal precinct, queer eye for the straight guy, lexx, the venture brothers, drawn together, law and order: special victims unit, scrubs, the surreal life, shark documentaries, realworld/ roadrules battle of the sexes 2, sealab2021.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Books:

Laurell K Hamilton is my all time favorite author and I'm waiting for the next book in two of her series,Mary Janice Davidson's series is really good too. Kim Harrison has a great stuff. Occasionally I'll read Rachael Caine. Recently Stephenie Meyers, Amy Lane, J.R. Ward, Karen Chance, Sunny, and Vicki Pettersson have come out with ridiculously good series. I especially like vampire fiction and poetry books.

Heroes:

You're my hero!

My Blog

Never say these things to a cop...

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas ) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, yo...
Posted by Jocelyn on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:37:00 PST

Define in your own words, the meaning of force protection. Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. There is no theory of...
Posted by Jocelyn on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:42:00 PST

Today's thought about Camp Atterbury...

Every day there is a brick missing from the wall of I give a fuck about this place.
Posted by Jocelyn on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:58:00 PST

Disclaimer.

I don't know how this happened, but I suddenly have 89 friends. That shit crept up on me too. I was trying to keep it under 50. Because I can't fucking stand "friend collectors" who have 3,...
Posted by Jocelyn on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:16:00 PST

These are your choices. Choose wisely.

If you had band, what would you name it? Unfortunately in this game, you can only choose from this list of terribly awfully awful band names. Unfortunately for you, there is no prize for winning the g...
Posted by Jocelyn on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:40:00 PST

It's almost worth the gag reflex.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Body: Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about ...
Posted by Jocelyn on Wed, 10 May 2006 08:57:00 PST

It takes alot to piss me off, and this really does it.

This is an Airman's response to Cindy Williams' editorial piece in the Washington Times about MILITARY PAY, it should be printed in all newspapers across America.On Nov. 12, Ms Cindy Williams (from La...
Posted by Jocelyn on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 01:23:00 PST

Ways to annoy fellow grocery-store shoppers.

1. But one grape. Just one. Then claim that you don't have enough money to pay and walk off furious.2. Move "wet floor" signs to carpeted areas.3. Challenge people to shopping cart races.4. Go into th...
Posted by Jocelyn on Thu, 10 Nov 2005 08:27:00 PST

The kind of fun you pay for later.

so I think im still a little drunk from last night, my throat feels raw and im mildly nauseous. I want to go out again tonight but something tells me thats not such a good idea. trashed doesnt even ...
Posted by Jocelyn on Mon, 10 Oct 2005 08:00:00 PST

A survey so good, it's worth repeating...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: 1. Trick 2. Joce 3. Dirty Trick THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. fat people 2. dying of old age, I'd rather live fast and die young. 3. killer tomatoes from outer...
Posted by Jocelyn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST