TO KNOW ME YOU HAVE TO SEE BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF LOOKS. SO MANY TIMES PEOPLE OFTEN JUDGE A PERSON UPON LOOKS. I WAS ONCE TOLD THAT SOME OF THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL TREASURES HAVE BEEN BURRIED IN THE MOST UGLIEST PLACES. NOW I'M NOT SAYING THAT I AM A DIAMOND NOR AM I SAYING THAT I'M A MONSTER, BUT IF YOU DIG REAL DEEP IN THAT BOX OF CEREAL YOU JUST MIGHT FIND THAT NIFTY LITTLE PRIZE AT THE BOTTOM...OKAY OKAY ENOUGH PHILOSOPHICAL MUMBO JUMBO...WELL MY NAME IS JERRY RODRIGUEZ RODRIGUEZ(DON'T ASK.) BUT MY PEOPLE CALL ME SKITZ YOU KNOW LIKE "SCHITZOPRENIC". DON'T WORRY I'M THE GOOD KIND OF CRAZY...I'M "SKITZOFRIENDLY"! GET IT SKITZ-SO-FRIENDLY?...(SILENCE)...WELL MOVING ON. I'M A POET WITH THE HEART OF AN EMCEE. MUSIC IS MY LOVE & WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME. I'M A LAID BACK KINDA GUY. TO THOSE WHO KNOW ME I'M A REAL SWEET GUY JUST ASK 'EM THEY'LL TELL YA! I'M AS LOYAL AS UR FAVORITE PET DOG, I'LL PROTECT & DEFEND YOU TO THE BITTER END, TILL I CAN FIGHT NO MORE & EVEN AT THAT I'LL STILL KEEP GOIN'. BUT LIKE SOME DOGS, YOU TREAT ME WRONG & YOU FUCKIN' GET BIT! I'LL TURN MY BACK ON YOU IN A HEARTBEAT! TRUST ME THE VERY FEW WHO TESTED ME ARE NOW LEARNING HOW IT FEELS TO BE TURNED A BLIND EYE, A DEAF EAR, & A COLD HEART TO THEM...I'M VERY FAMILY ORIENTED. FAMILY IS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME WITHOUT THEM I AM NOTHING BUT AN EMPTY SHELL OF A FAT MAN. LOL. I'M ALSO A BIT OF A ROMANTIC TOO. IT'S HARD THESE DAYS CUZ MOST LADIES DON'T WANT THE GENTLEMEN NO MORE THEY WANT THE ASSHOLE OR THE THUG WHO BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. IT'S LIKE THEY HAVE TO FIGHT IN ORDER TO KNOW IF UR IN LOVE OR NOT! GUYS LIKE ME ARE OBSOLETE. I'M THE LAST OF A DYING BREED...
WELL ANYWAY THANKS FOR STOPIN' BY, ON THE SHOW TONITE WE GOT JACK HANNAH WITH HIS EXOTIC ANIMALS (APPLAUSE). YOU ALL KNOW HIM AS THE FONZ HAPPY DAYS VERY OWN HENRY WINKLER EVERYBODY ! (APPLAUSE) & TONITE OUR MUSICAL GUEST IS THE DEFTONES (APPLAUSE) AN TO MY RIGHT IS OUR HOUSE BAND GUILLERMO & HIS PUTASOS DE AMOR ! LET'S GET THIS FUCKIN' SHOW STARTED !
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