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John

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I am a grossly hypersane person, and that makes me ill-equipped for this world. Perhaps I'll become a biscuit-making hermaphroditic sponge in a hydrocarbon sea on an off-ramp planet in the Andromeda galaxy. Yes, thats what I would like for my birthday. Unfortunately, that planet has an orbit of 29.45 Earth years, so I have some waiting to do until my next birthday. (Fucking planet is 62.448 astronomical units from the star. It is very cold there -- It'll make my calcium carbonate spicules perky and erect. Ah, I miss Earth already. If you'll have me back, I promise not to cause periodic extinctions by using my gravitons to disrupt the Kuiper Belt and Oort Cloud, flinging assorted detritus into the inner solar system (this reminds me of a story about a penguin and a lesser Babylonian god. The penguin says to the god, "How can there be a god(s) when there is so much suffering in the world?" And the lesser god says, "Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!" (Editor's note: This is a blatant historical inaccuracy. It will be disregared by you, beginning now. (Editor's note: There is no editor. (This reminds me of a joke, between a penguin and a lesser Babylonian god. The lesser Babylonian god says to the penguin, "How can there be no editor with such a lack of suffering in the world?" And the penguin says, "Thats not my daughter! It's a milking machine, and it won't stop until its reached 5 gallons!" (Penguins note: There was no Babylon. It was a concept created in the 19th century to justify an anti-Irish immigration campaign funded by Andrew Carnegie. It was later used as a pseudo-scientific rationalization of the Marijuana Stamp Tax Act of 1937. So you see, history is a fickle pickle.))))))

My Interests

archaeology, anthropology (actually, most -ologies interest me, except for maybe gastroenterology or helminthology -- I really don't care about stomachs or parasitic worms), cognitive science, pop physics books, music, singing when nobody's listening, eating sushi, making sushi, thai food, cheese, ceviche, cooking, fat cats (Felis catus domesticus not Homo sapiens richassholensis), observing severe weather from a safe location, giving and getting back rubs, travel, photography, movies, moderate intoxication, licking stamps and envelopes, sleep, avoiding sleep, hearing a muzak version of Julian Lennon's "Much Too Late For Goodbyes" while grocery shopping, nibbling on cat ears, scraping burnt toast, self-depreciation, the smell of dryer exhaust, the smell of the marsh.

I'd like to meet:

For some strange reason, most people are trapped by their own little thoughts. I'd love to meet a person who could, even just for a little while, think outside of their own mind. Stop being what they believe themselves to be, remove all the filters they have collected throughout their lives, throw away their biases and preconceived notions, and exist as something other than themselves. Someone who can see the beauty in all situations and at the same time not be so awestuck as to leave themselves undefended from reality. Someone who can be humbled by the vastness of the everything and realize that they are a tiny bag of blood-filled skin full of twitching, pumping, perceiving, pissing, shitting, grinding, filtering organs that all support the ability, for that brief moment of a lifetime, to blossom into being and allow them to take a look around before being recycled back into the mix.....or maybe just someone with really good pot. I tend to personify animals and animalize persons. Observationally, at least.

Music:

Boards of Canada, Radiohead, Dead Can Dance, Underworld, Tool, Daler Mehndi, Crass, Misfits, The Cure, Bjork, Zoltan and his Gypsy Ensemble, Erik Truffaz, Ravel, Cuong Vu, Portishead, Bad Religion, The Cramps, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Holst, Sibelius, The Flaming Lips, Boom Bip, Tom Waits, Dead Kennedys, Alec Empire, Sublime, Pink Floyd, Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, AK1200, Dvorak, Bebel Gilberto, Ministry, Mars Volta, Nirvana, Acid Bath, Sonic Youth, Lords Of Acid, Otis Redding, Talking Heads, Atari Teenage Riot, Old Time Relijun, Ministry, Unkle, Ween, Gurdas Mann, Tito Puente, Rolling Stones, Hypocrisy, Amon Tobin, Badawi, Vivaldi, Die Fantastischen Vier, The Beatles, The Doors, Gipsy Kings, Air, Velvet Acid Christ, Duran Duran, Zoviet France, Orbital, Explosions In The Sky, Reverend Horton Heat. Blah blah blah - Jesus, man, get some musical focus!

Movies:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Muppets from Space, 12 Monkeys, Jacob's Ladder, Delicatessen, Donnie Darko, Blade Runner, Lost in Translation, Equilibrium, Allegro non Troppo, Ghost World, The Fifth Element, The Virgin Suicides, Altered States, Memento, The Shawshank Redemption, Dark City, Bicentennial Man, Requiem for a Dream, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Repo Man, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Secret of Nimh, Schizopolis, Falling Down, The Big Lebowski, Office Space, Sneakers, Ghost in the Shell, Nausicaa, Instinct, The Caveman's Valentine, I Heart Huckabees, The Gods Must Be Crazy, The Salton Sea

Television:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Futurama, Venture Bros., Mr. Show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Simpsons, Family Guy, Max Headroom, Upright Citizens Brigade, The Daily Show, Arrested Development, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Not Necessarily the News, The Riches

Books:

Authors: Hunter S. Thompson, Noam Chomsky, Douglas Adams, William Gibson, Bill Burroughs, Kurt Vonnegut, Oliver Sacks, Desmond Morris, Paul Davies, Carl Sagan, Ray Kurzweil, David Deutsch, Steven Pinker, Daniel Dennett, Jared Diamond, Richard Dawkins
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I live in two separate everywheres, and I am made of two distinct everythings. I am the reason general relativity and quantum mechanics are incompatible.

Heroes:

We search for certainty and call what we find destiny. Everything is possible, yet only one thing happens. What a weird universe we're stuck with. .. For some reason I always have an incredibly difficult time coming up with a halloween costume. Is that a condition worthy of admission into the DSM-V? I think so.

My Blog

Bob the Magnificent Cat

Well, well! I now have a new cat! He is a handsome boy, and he is currently making the rounds sniffing everything in my apartment. I got him from a woman who is pregnant and about to move back to New ...
Posted by John on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

"Eight Blunders"

Eight 'blunders' cause all the violence in the world: - Wealth without work - Pleasure without conscience - Knowledge without character - Commerce without morality -...
Posted by John on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I, Republican

The three laws: 1. A Republican may not injure a corporation, or, through inaction, allow a corporation to come to harm. 2. A Republican must obey the orders given it by corporations exc...
Posted by John on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Amsterdamned

Welp, I'm back from the Amstel Dam. Last night I spent two hours writing a nice long and eloquent description of my adventures, and then my browser crashed before it could be posted. So.....here is th...
Posted by John on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST