Jackie

Here we go- the “about me” part – the part inevitably destined to slight anyone. Words can’t illustrate a person entirely so this may end up being a long “in short.” I am 5’10”. My hair is too long. My usual attire is a t-shirt and jeans - I’m not trying to impress anyone. I express myself rather strongly through the written word, but verbally is a whole different story. I’m so shy it is borderline cowardice. It really gets under my skin that almost everyone says “samwich” instead of “sandwich.” It also pisses me off when I take the time to hold the door open for someone and they don’t even have the common courtesy to say “thank you,” but instead walks by with not even so much as eye contact like I owe it to them. I hate corporations and everything they stand for and thus do my best to avoid them, despite the fact it’s almost impossible. I’m mostly vegan, except that I won’t make a big to-do if cereal has honey in it. I guess most would say that makes me vegetarian. I also can’t eat bread or pasta because I’ll end up with pain so excruciating it will land me in the hospital. I laugh when people ask me what I eat because I surprisingly find myself eating more and better things than I ever have in my life. I don’t drink much at all – it’s very rare if ever. College age people act like it’s a requisite to drink themselves into a constant stupor and they’ll talk about it and show it off. . .which seems pointless to me. Like they’re trying to prove something. Alcoholics are a turn-off to me, since I grew up around alcoholics, and, in fact, a drunk driver nearly killed my brother. I am an artist. I’ve been drawing since I was two. I also like to sculpt polymer clay, write and paint. I love pictures. I love music, but not the recent crap that they play on the mainstream radio that has no point, value, or meaning. When it comes to music, TV and movies, I really can’t stand all the cheap crap that passes for “entertainment” these days. Not only does it suck, but it makes for meaningless lives. People need to get up and learn a skill and start being the entertainers rather than being “entertained” and dumbed down by such meaningless crap. I read constantly – mostly non-fiction and informational stuff. In any book-store, it would be most common to find me in the social sciences, women’s studies, health or current affairs sections. I love shameless humor and people who are so boisterously funny that they have no shame. I love shock value. People ask me if I’m French, Lebanese, Pacific Islander, Greek, Italian, Hispanic and everything else that I’m not. . .I am almost half Native American. I grew up between two brothers – Jon and Adam. I also have a sister, McKenna, that I don’t know much. And my deadbeat biological father went off and had two boys that I don’t know at all. . .my biological father I’ve never thought of as family. So I never have been quite sure as to how to answer people when they ask me how many siblings I have. I could say 2. . .I could say 3. . .or I could say 5. I don’t have the prettiest of skin. I busted my front tooth out pillow surfing on the kitchen floor when I was a kid and, as a result, have a fake tooth. I’m self-conscious and have low self-esteem, which I’m trying to work on. While I don’t get offended easily, I am ultra sensitive. My boyfriend, who is from Lebanon, tells me that with all the countries he’s been to and all the people he’s met, I have to be the most sensitive person “in all the word.” He says the nicest, too. But I’m so honest and blunt, I think I am capable of unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings. I would never do so intentionally, though. I like to fantasize. I’ve always been a dreamer. I love to give and I love to help people. I like rollerblading, walking, biking and swimming. I’ve never been competitive. I used to skinny dip a lot and miss it. Only society tells you to grow up – I love innocence and believe you’re never too old to act a bit “immature” sometimes. I believe it is imperative to question everything we are taught and told. I love dirty jokes. I like diversity and accents. Borders are manmade and I wish for a world without them. I like to emphasize how great women are in a male-dominated world. I'm proud to be a woman. I tend to defend the underdog. I don’t like being singled out. I tend to sit in the back corner of a room as being in the center makes me a bit nervous. I love pajamas, but I also love sleeping naked. I like worldly, well-rounded, intellectual people. I’m more of an observer and listener, so I may not talk much. I love summer and warm late nights of. Sunny days and stormy nights. I really love Rice Dream vegan ice cream in the carrot cake flavor – it’s fucking heaven. I don’t have a lot of friends and not much of a family. I’m finally taking a class to learn the guitar. I don't like egos, arrogance, closed-minds, or criticism. I don't like stability much or authority. I find flaws beautiful. I sleep with multiple pillows. I like to concoct my own smoothies and, man, are they good. I eat alone on Friday and Saturday nights and it sucks really bad. I like cartoons. I like listening to people’s personal stories. I will not talk behind someone’s back. I hate gossip – it’s really tacky. I talk in my sleep. A lot. I can't stand selfishness. I hope to move into a travel van next year. I hope it works out – it seems that whenever I tell anyone something, it doesn’t happen. There’s always mixed reactions when I share this dream of mine. But, ya know, I have a lot of really great talents and can’t put them to full use because I can’t afford a certificate to prove I have these talents I was born with. I’ve taught myself far more than any school has, anyway (education is not just the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire). And I don’t really want to waste hours of every day I won’t get back again slaving away in pursuit of money. Money is really underrated when you let go of wanting stuff you don’t need. I want to leave this world with something of true meaning. And that comes through travel and learning. I never want to be in one place for a long amount of time. I want to see as much as I can. Apartments suck thousands out your ass for something you’re never going to own and, thus, you have nothing to show for that hard-earned money under those wasted hours. You never truly own a house because of constant taxes and the fact the government could take it if they wanted the land for something. . .plus the bills in a house are far larger than the bills in an apartment. So. . .it makes sense to me. I have odd thumbs people have laughed at. I can pop my hip out of socket. I want to write a book someday – about what, I don’t yet know. Someday, I’ll write love notes on seashells and leave them with random people while they’re not looking. I want to inspire. I want to change lives for the better. I want to film documentaries. I want to learn how to belly dance. I am desperate to see the world. I think that the interest in “celebrity” lives is pathetic and it irritates me to no end that they are exalted as if they are more significant than anybody else in this world. I may admire, say, Jewel or Alanis. . .but no more than some really cool person down the hall or in a group that I may want to be friends with. They all get praised for the most average things. On top of it, they get paid so much, much (much being an understatement) more to memorize lines and stand in front of a camera than others get for truly hard slave labor. Yet, if I had the opportunity to be “one of them,” I’d take it in a minute because I wouldn’t be one of them. I’d take my exposure to the masses as opportunity to tell them I’m no more significant than they are. . .and even more of an opportunity to expose the truth on as many things as I could, despite knowing that people get shot for doing so. No such thing as “freedom of speech.” But the truth, in an age of such deceit, becomes revolutionary. If I knew I could get away with it and I knew it would change the world for the better. . .so be it. You know what else I’d do? I’d live in a fucking travel van. Or a small house that is simply enough, since I’d have the means to travel. . .and I’d give everything else away. And I would proudly show off the meager “enough” that I have just like they gallantly display the overboard that they have. I’d offer new perceptions and be the counterculture. On Thursdays, I usually go to the Ann Arbor and Detroit areas. Ann Arbor is my love town. San Francisco is the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen thus far. I don’t mind, and in fact like, when people ask me personal questions. I say “cuz” a lot when it doesn’t even belong in the sentence. On any given evening, I may be at Water Street sipping plum oolong tea and writing or reading. Unless it’s a Sunday evening, then I’m probably listening to people read their poems at a poetry reading. I don’t think Vegas is all that. All what? You know, that. But what’s that? It’s just what it is, okay?!