♥ [6/4/05] Luvin u'

My Poems
Baby, what would I do without you.
You are my life, and mean so much to me.
No matter what we go through, you are always in my heart.
I dont know how I would live without you.
You are always there by my side, holding me close.
You kiss me & hug me, wipe my tears, and brush away the hair in my eyes.
You do everything possible to make me happy.
And I wouldnt wanna trade you for anybody, or for any life than the one I have now.
You are very special to me, and I would never want to lose you.
Just remember.... I will always love and care for you!

Why is it everytime I cry, its over you.
So many thoughts, but wut to do.
Is this time wasted, or should I wait.
Another day, we're slipping away.
I will stay by your side, just dont go.
Will I walk alone in this, are you turning away.
I can see Im not the same, my heart has taken over.
Theres so much I want, but I have to wait.... patiently.
Something hard to do, but for you I feel I can maybe I can.
Im so in love with you, I need you here with me.

Why am I here?

Growing up, getting an education, finding a career.
It can be tough, but everyone has to do it.
This could all be just a dream,
But how would I really know?
Life could be short,
I could die tomorrow.
So tell me again,
Why am I here?
No one really knows,
Do you?

It’s My Life…

What I do is my decision,
It has nothing to do with you.
If I make bad choices then it’s my own fault,
Just don’t call me names.

I have done stupid things in the past and I still do,
But it’s up to me to learn from my mistakes.
I don’t want people to tell me what to do,
Because then I’m probably going to do the opposite.

If I want to take pills for dieting, let me,
If I want to do drugs, let me,
If I want to skip school, let me,
These are all my choices so live with it.

What I do is my decision,
If I mess up my life then it’s my own fault.
Let me mess up,
Maybe I will learn a thing or two.

If I harm myself,
Then it’s my fault.
Don’t be stupid and get involved with my decisions,
I can only take so much crap from people.

If you don’t like who I am,
Then don’t talk to me.
If you don’t like the things I do,
Then talk to me about it, don’t talk behind my back.

I will listen to your opinions,
But that doesn’t mean I’ll take them.
It’s my life,
Let me run it my way.
I don’t need people to pretend they like me,
I would rather just talk to people who let me be me.
People that don’t always criticize me,
I don’t need this.

Let me do as I please,
It’s my life.
If you don’t like it,
Then get over it or don’t talk to me.

Just Friends

I can't accept the way we are, you see,
we were more before, but now you won't let that be.
I'm sitting here thinking about the past,
why we aren't together now and why we didn't last.
you do not understand the way I feel,
the respect, the trust, the feelings, it's all for real.
These feelings I don't think will ever end,
now to me you are my best guy friend.
So this is how it's going to be,
you just want to be friends with me.
I'm just happy we can still be friends,
very good friends, and hope this will never end.

One Year

We've had our good days and our bad days,
But what matters is that we get through it.
At times we've had to make the other person smile,
Other times we were just too sad to smile at all.
But what we go through together, is very special,
Because we try to make our relationship work.
We have been through so much,
Through family and deaths, the ups and downs.
Months have gone by and now it’s a year,
The commitment has come and our flings have gone.
We will continue to grow and grow strong,
More feelings and happiness in the future.
I love you with all my heart,
This relationship is really special.

Tyler

June 4, 2005

This is my loving bf Tyler. We met way back in grade 9 at skating and we hated each other. Then grade 10 he stalked me and came to Westmount haha jk, he came cuz his best friends were there. Anyways time went on and on and we still didnt like each other but then we began to talk on MSN for a bit but then that went downhill after a month or so. A year later I added him again and we talked more and more, but he was still an ass cuz thats just what he did best. I went to his and his friends hockey games all the time. One nite, (November 2004) he actually picked me up and drove me to the arena, we sat and talked in the car for a bit then he was trying to get me to kiss him but I had absolutely no interest in this kid, he was a goof lol. But he tried and tried, finally he just said "Can I atleast have a peck on the cheek?" I said "that I can do". So I went in for it but him being the typical guy he is turned his head so I got his lips. Then whatever, I just wanted to go see the hockey game. A couple months later (February) after still talking we hung out and watched a movie, I apparently had to see, called Multiplicity, so we laid in my bed and watched it. From that day on we got closer and closer but I didnt want a relationship at all. So as people would say I messed around with his head for a bit. As days and days went by he had fallen for me, but I was still not sure what to do. I liked his company and he was nice to me, and we had alot in common. My past guy experiences werent that great and they only lasted 2 weeks at a time, so as Im slowly falling for Tyler I had repeatively told him I didnt want to date him cuz I didnt want to hurt him. Well Prom came and boy did I not want to go, but who ended up getting me to go. Of course Tyler. He was tricky and influencial that way. I rejected him a couple of times when he asked me out, being the total bitch I am, and he was starting to disappear, as he was maybe giving up. He started going with another girl which got me angry, and in a way jealous, even tho Im not the 'big' jealous type. There was just something about him I wanted to be with him but at the same time wanted to be serious and not break the kids heart. So I thought about it and thought about it. I didnt think I could get the guts to tell him how I felt, and I didnt wanna get myself into something I would once again regret with a guy. (No offence guys!) A coincedence, Tyler and his friend showed up at my work, my shift was almost done so I told Tyler I had to talk to him. He came back and got me, dropped off his friend at home and we were alone. I was so nervous and thinking to myself what have I done. I changed my mind I didnt wanna tell him anything, but him coming up with excuses, his "Im going to Nova Scotia for the week, so tell me now, or forget about it". I think he knew why I wanted to talk to him. I finally came out and told him I had feelings for him, didnt wanna hurt him, Id give this a try. So bye bye other girl, hello me! :P June 4, 2005, after over 6 months of dickin around I gave in. And Im glad I did. We have been through so much the good and the bad. The way things are going my family loves him, I love him, we are there for each other, and I guess thats all that matters. So listen for those bells cuz we are together forever, and getting married! .... in a couple of years

So as you can see the best can come out of things, dont hold back your feeling, and give things a try. You'll never know what's gonna happen til you try it, and if you do regret it in the end, atleast you tried it!

U've shown me and taught me alot.. thanks for being there for me, through the good times and the bad!
Our Sayings: ...
. I love you more than life itself .
. I love you more than feelings can show .
. I love you more than words can say .