I cry during acupuncture and i like it. I like the independence of traveling solo, but like even more the sheer contentment of meeting people on the road who become reflections of the woman I've become. I love the moments in our lives that are most uncomfortable because getting to the other side of those moments is always so revealing and so incredibly satisfying. i love sand and snow. i love the reckless abandon of intoxication and the wakefulness of sobriety. i am a city girl, who needs all night shops that sell cds and champagne. but i love the familiarity of living in small towns with recognizable neighbors. i don’t know what i want to be when i grow up, but neither does my 89 year old grandpa, so i think i'm alright. In the meantime, i work hard and then think hard and then i let go and play and dance and run away to my undiscovered paradises.
Oh, and i love the idea of soaking in long hot baths with a good book and music and lavender bubbles, but i usually get too hot after about 10 minutes, so my baths don’t seem to last very long. But i take them anyhow. And I love them.tonight, i sat on the phone for a zillion hours with my best friend in the whole world, while i sipped on wine staring at surfers standing on waves on Hawaiian shores and we talked about past loves, new romance, her amazing little babies, books that inspire us, what makes us cry, what makes me hum and her scream. We talked about nights that broke our hearts, days that made us stronger, fears we are continually overcoming, joys we are always experiencing. We talked about places we imagine traveling to in our lives and places we've been. She is my heart and i know that one day we will be sitting on rocking chairs on her porch somewhere in the South - I imagine her in the South - reminiscing, dreaming, crying, laughing...She is my sister.One day, not long ago, I was wandering around NYC with a friend. We were sad about stuff. We wandered into a church to be saved. No salvation that day. We wandered into a bar to escape. No disappearing that day. We wandered into Virgin Records, bought Sex and the City, my favorite Joe Cocker and Faithless CDs and then stumbled upon a liquor store for the cheapest bottle of champagne we could find and a bottle of pineapple juice and then off to my Grandpa's we went where we played old Nina Simone records, my favorite Roberta Flack song - Reverend Lee - and we blasted the stereo so loudly that even the cops wouldn't have been able to interrupt our mid-Sunday afternoon party. With Sarah Jessica Parker pontificating on sex in the background, pineapple mimosa's flowing from grandpa's 50 year old browning glasses and sporting the silliest outfits we could style, we danced and we sang until the blues made our blues disappear. She is my sister too.My friend Leah makes lotion. I'd like to try that sometime. I love that we cry together. My friend Mike is an incredible photographer, with prints that so adequately depict life growing up in new york city. I want to frame them and make my home his gallery. My friend Tegan built a story out of old love letters she bought at a thrift store. I want to share that story. My friend Sala speaks 6 languages, lives in Rome with her fiancé and has a passion i strive to emulate. my friend carla has a wit that cuts and a dance that makes you want to boogie. and even though she knows how to play hardball with the best of them, i know she's a softie. she also has a scumscious toosh. my friend yannis is not just funny, he's incredibly courageous. even though he cried at titanic. he's my lobster. My friend Jaya is a fearless writer, who (much like me) will always be led by her heart. it's a good thing. i am so thankful i moved to dc in time to know her. my friend sarah is tough as balls and is a formidable travel companion. i'm so proud and in awe of her new adventure. TAKE ME WITH YOU! My friend Jens is the sweetest, most genuine person I've met and our international rendez vous' are something i will always cherish. As will i cherish his friendship during one of the most terrifying and rewarding experiences of my life. My friend Stephanie, with her unmistakable squeak and all of her tenderness, is going to make an incredible mother one day and patrick (with all his levity, his humility and his seriousness) a happy man. I'm so glad i caught them in the bathroom back in the day :) My friend Sam has undeterable ambition that I admire and respect and, what I love even more, is her thoughtfulness, her loyalty and her courage - even through the most trying of circumstances. And her edge is simply her armor and beneath her armor is a heart of gold. My friend Angie is always smiling and laughing (and shaking her leg!) and despite the shake, she is an ass-crackin, straight shooter who drinks way to much coca cola and is still standing by her Edwards. Good luck in '08 schweethart. My friend Fran wears poodle skirts with secondhand boots and granny panties and she is gorgeous and funny and, even though she never jumped in the Danube, I still think she has cojones. My friend Hillary is one of the few people who can enjoy indulging in the art of analysis as much as I can. We've sat on the phone for hours picking apart 10 second conversations - consoling our delicate hearts and making room for laughter and insecurity.My friend Pitu - ahhh Pitu. The Spaniard with her big ideas and her magical realism all wrapped up in a package she calls pragmatic. It's not pragmatism. It's heart and it's dedication. 'Why not' she always asks. Why not some wine and good conversation and better friends and all of our emotions and virtues and love and soul? Why not? And now there is Fruszina. On her Hungarian escapade to taste life and passion and explore and empower. She is wise. She is a dancer. She is compassionate and consoling and adventurous. She is free. Free in a way I have never experienced. And why shouldn't Chris come next? Chris. My fellow conspirator, master in the art of time suckage, tucked away in his APCO cave, absorbing trivial factoids from wikipedia and urban slang repositories, waving his pimp hand - up then down, up then down. Chris is about as excitable as a toddler on speed, which is what makes him so easy to be around - i'm glad he stepped out of his cave for long enough to be my friend :)My friend Aleeza, 7 years after we met on our way to Turkey, has finally made her way across the great blue expanse to marry her true love and live happily after. amazing. really. My friend mirah is damn strong. and she wakes up at 5am to walk her dog and go to yoga and sometimes that's late for her. I’m usually not on to my first cup of coffee until 5 hours after her dog has made four poops. sometimes i want to wake up that early. and sometimes i just want to commend her for her tirelessness. my friend david. Ah. David. well, i love him. and he loves me. and well, that just makes friendship complicated. but i could write 10 pages on what makes him so special. but in a few words, david is compassionate, complex, clever, honest and affecting. oh, and he reminds me of helen hunt on mad about you who could whip ass at trivial pursuit because they know everything. sometimes i think he's a real life superhero.And there is pauline. who is pensive and playful and wise beyond her years. the Russian vixen, smoking newports and dazzling the dc boys with her sexy glare. and shephathiah, who is always game for rock star nostalgia and who shares my penchant for games and beer and last minute getaways. she is getting married in December. WOW. and then alexa, whose heart is huge and whose mind is insatiable. she has that amazing mix of soul and intellect that make her truly incredible. i remember she told me that her boyfriend woke her up one morning and told her that she was exhausting - that sometimes he didn’t want to wake up at 7am and talk about nuclear weapons in Iran and agency coordination in Iraq. I had to laugh because her passion about life and development and politics is exhausting, but the best part about her - is that in the same breath, she can sit with you for a pedicure and talk about how messed up it was of Brad to leave Jen, but how amazing Angelina is. and Wolfe - ah Wolfe. SmaHt guy. Starting a whole new life. He can charm the pants off anyone and then scare 'em all off on the train when you try to talk about "romantic bullsh**t." But he is SOOO a lover. he just won’t admit it. and he's funny. not stupid funny. but smart funny. sometimes i dont even get his jokes, but i know they’re funny. and there's eileen and her twin who will forever be my Asian compatriots. Eileen, who according to Yannis is now removing landmines in Cambodia, will always occupy a special place in my soul, which laughs out loud every time i see iodine or think of full moon parties. And margot, my synchronized sleeping partner who shared a 3 foot wide bunk on a sailboat from hell and who remembers all too well, how that guy from the bus got a black eye (even though he couldn’t remember!). And Petie -poop who loves thighs and hates spoons and is still residing in Bangkok and sipping on scrumscious Thai booty and making a name for himself in magazines. And Par, who eats nothing but pizza in Asia and looks damn sexy in his myspace photo :) and his lovely lady who loves to eat as much as me. And Greg - my brother, my protector, my savior on so many occasions. I only hope i can be half as much a friend to him. And Damien. Motherfu***n Damien. He is New York. He has the coolest digs and the best laugh and is a soulful little bastard, rolling through life with a mischievous smile and music and bicycles monopolizing his mind. I love it when he accessorizes his suits with a running jacket. And Heather - a woman ahead of her time. Serious and smart and reliable and so incredibly composed. I admire her so much. And gwynne - with her endless intellect and passion for Russian politics and everything she touches. She has been my colleague, my mentor, my boss, my friend. And Rob - Rob with those eyes and that edge of vulnerability and his absolute loyalty - again, i feel lucky that i came to dc in time to know him. And carrie with her confidence and beauty - i love just being around her and dancing drunk with cute boys and frolicking in endless banter. "like an intellectuals version of Sex and the City" where we talk about fine jewelery and racist housing laws in NYC until Raouls closes and we find ourselves looking for the next bit of trouble. Which leads me to Prerna with all of her grace and smarts and her love of anything involving champagne. just you, me, sylvia - maybe some European snow and liver toast. the ladies who lunch. And Sylvia - the other pea in my pod, who has been too far away from me for far too long. She is living the dream. And Farias, my big sister, my pink lady, my tickle torturer - she has carved out her own Big Chill and i love their closeness through all of the years. I was responsible for her buying pink pumas. And i am damn proud. Because they looked so good. And Chani who can make having babies as cool as rollerblading. Who is passionate about information and has really made an incredible life for herself and has become this amazing woman.I love it when she listens because it feels like she's really listening. And Dan - the Grossman - all heart and good times and the best crowd guy ever. He made my transition to DC so easy. And Ian who is my international man of mystery - tucked away in Turks and Caicos - helping me dream up our aerial tour through Africa. And Laurie - who has forbidden me to drink red bull for fear that i might drag her out passed 6am. She is my right-hand klutz and a lifelong friend. and even though her and shephathiah were more concerned about the cute plastic surgeon than my chopped off pinky finger, i know she loves me. he was cute after all. And Sean who saw demons in bathrobes and tried to convince me he was a vampire after watching lost boys too many times. Sean is my junior high school crush, now enduring friend - who saved me from my most embarrassing night EVER. and then there is aaron. with his beautiful mind and irresistible charm. he's of those guys that gets in your head and moves shit around and messes up the order and then wonders why you seem so flustered. i hate that. but then again, shit needs to get messed up every once in a while :)this is my family...i am a little bit of all of these people and a big part me.
