Laura - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am a vicious manipulator with a bad case of lying fever. I like books, but mostly I just read Lucky Magazine and US Weekly. I like movies, but lately I've just been renting television shows on DVD. I hate advertising, because I'm fueled with a desire to consume without provocation. I like to be the first one on the dance floor and the last one to leave. Shoes give me heart palpatations. So do teenage boys. My foot resides permanantly in my mouth. I only remove it to give blowjobs, but not to teenage boys. That would be illegal. I spent four hours in jail once, I bawled the entire time. Then I got a ride home from a nice paper delivery guy who was listening to Brutal Truth. I am very judgemental, but only with people who deserve it. I am very honest except when it suits me to lie... and I work very hard to make sure that my milkshake is better than yours.

My Interests

smartypants, sweatypants, money grubbing, escape routes, Peter Berlin, shoes, whiskey breath and latenight hands.

I'd like to meet:

Looking for same. I like pushovers and doormats too, but kind of the same way a cat likes one of those feathers on the end of a stick. I look for people who are extremely funny. Also, I like people who are spontaneously consumed with a burning desire for slurpees and a porno. People who like to wake up on Sunday, have a several champagne brunch, shop for six hours or so, then have cocktails for dinner. People who enjoy humor at another's expense only slightly less than at the expense of themselves.

Music:

AC/DC, LordsOfLight, Prince, Isis, Girl, CheapTrick, Outkast, Doors, Scorpions, TalkingHeads, GaryNuman, Stereolab, MyBloodyValentine, OingoBoingo, MeltBanana, MamasAndPapas, US Maple, AliceCooper(early), Pulp, Plasmatics(Maggots), Sleep, Wire

Movies:

The Reflecting Skin, Sex World, The Dark Backward, Blood Simple, Wet Hot American Summer

Television:

just about anything you can rent on DVD

Books:

Catch 22, The Sorrows of Young Werther, all Salinger

Heroes:

Anyone who can successfully bullshit their way into an amazing career. People who still have manners. People who love aesthetic without being vain or pompous. Bill Murray.