Ben The Ostrich Farmer profile picture

Ben The Ostrich Farmer

OSTRICHES CRAP HOLE: THE REVENGE

About Me

Words are cheap. Luckily, so's my life so I can sum it up in mere syllables: dissapointing. But its ok because things are going to change. I'm going to change. And you're all going to change because my hypnotism machine is nearly- I've typed too much already. Be prepared. Collect marshmallows. On a slightly lighter not, I like walks on the beach and getting caught in the rain so ladies don't hesitate to approach me, I'm suprisingly single. Yes, I know its hard to believe but the truth is some girls just can't take the pace... Ah well, I have other distractions. I read, I work (occasionally,) I fantasise and I fantasise some more. Occasionally I spell correctly. Besides the true Ben experience can't be described in words. That white hot moment when our eyes meet and we both realise we have nothing to talk about... thats priceless.

A

My Interests

Attaining a female orgasm. The very idea of a continuous orgasm powerful enough to knock you out, simply entrances me. No lie.

I'd like to meet:

Elvis. The name just popped into my head, like the infamous toboggan into the national 1958 Penny Whistling Championship in the lesser know town of Old New Guinea.Besides, what kind of stupid question is that anyway? I'd like to meet the girl of my dreams.Actually I have already, but I want another go because I wasn't financially, emotionally and interluctually-interactually-inter... whatever... ....prepared for it.

Music:

Really, don't ask. Its not worth the embarassment for either party.

Movies:

...are endlessly entertaining.

Television:

Tele-vision.. vision! Haha!.... doesn't matter....

Books:

Read the Gormenghast Trilogy, then you can come back to me and talk about books.

Heroes:

Me, a few years ago. I was so totally a loser I'm surprised I survived my own bad influences. And for those who know me, yes I know what you just thought: shame on you!