mitchell profile picture

mitchell

mitchell_brandt

About Me

"Look, man, I cool it here, dig?" . . . "You never knew anybody so cool. I'm Emir Feisal in Constantinople in 1916, dig, that's how cool I am. This whole scene" . . ."I keep at thirty-seven degrees Fahrenheit. Average."

My Interests

Shooting monks, setting off road flares in nursing homes, sipping on forties while listening to Bach, tripping daisies, hitting clay pigeons with hammers, translating obscure spy novels into dead languages (you know, for kicks), lighting peoples cigarettes and telling them to quit then bumming one, designing flashlights that will last forever and can be seen from space, scabs, collecting packaged meat products from convenience stores, labeling obvious household items, developing other dialects for rappers (someone stole my shizzle bit), software design and development, gold prospecting, making people feel smart, making people feel stupid, making people, keeping detailed logs of all the decaffinated coffees out there, smoking house plants, writing viruses for healthcare systems, drawing pro-Bush political cartoons, drawing anti-Bush political cartoons, writing hyper-critical reviews of pop music, following The Dead, calling in bomb threats to elementary schools, etc.

I'd like to meet:

Myself in a dark alley.

Music:

Christian death metal and opera

Movies:

Anything with Tom . . . you know which one.

Television:

I think Television is a great pre-punk group. "Marquee Moon" is a fine album. It has one of my favorite getting-ready-to-go-out-whiling-singing-into-a-brush tracks ever. People that are into Television should also check out The Go-Betweens.

Books:

J. Crew, Urban Outfitter and Target catalogs

Heroes:

Christ

My Blog

Keep Portland Weird

A note on Portland and what I've been up to since I last wrote about naked Asians: Certain pieces have fallen quite easily into our mystic puzzle. The house we're occupying suits us very well. ...
Posted by mitchell on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:16:00 PST

Jim Ji Bang is Korean for Naked Fun

Before last Sunday I'd heard Korean bath houses described as, "a bunch of naked Korean guys sitting in hot water," and now I can report that while that statement is entirely true, it falls miles short...
Posted by mitchell on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 07:28:00 PST

My foot tastes great

So I've got a part-time job slash hobby hating different celebrities and other people that seem to be having more fun than me. One person that always tops the list is Justin Timberlake. I could go o...
Posted by mitchell on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 02:51:00 PST

Self-Improvement

This thing happens a few times a year where something inside me starts nagging me to get in better shape. I look at myself differently in the mirror and eventually I take half-ass actions to do somet...
Posted by mitchell on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:42:00 PST

Army with flapping degrees

So when does it all become real? When does a person "start" their life? Is this it? I mean are we really shaping the next ten years by what we..re doing now? I suppose I should replace the "we's" ...
Posted by mitchell on Sat, 18 Nov 2006 07:14:00 PST

I need a black and white photo

I need a black and white photo to make it all make sense. These words are only coming so close. I need a photo where I'm standing in a crowd of people, kind of to the side, looking a little confuse...
Posted by mitchell on Thu, 16 Nov 2006 11:21:00 PST

I've Been Smelling My Grandparents Lately

So I've been smelling my grandparents frequently over the past eight months. It's strange. I don't remember being aware of their odors that much at home, but in odd places I've been catching their w...
Posted by mitchell on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:52:00 PST

She Held My Hand on the Bus

The buses in Korea are extremely efficient. A train ride from Gyeongju to Seoul takes four hours and costs around forty-five dollars. There's something romantic about riding on a train, but it stops...
Posted by mitchell on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:42:00 PST

The Ultimate Peace Out and Prelude to a Disappointment

Okay, so in every job there is a certain amount of bullshit one can expect to deal with. My job is no different, but I suppose it can be a little more frustrating than some because of this wonderful ...
Posted by mitchell on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 09:17:00 PST

I got It

When I got It. I mean when I really got It, I wasn't sure what to do. At first it hit me like a water balloon full of thumb tacks; kind of cold and stung. There was foolishness mixed with righteou...
Posted by mitchell on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 12:42:00 PST