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Ladies, havin' babies, without no drama...
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The Revenge of Abe Lincoln, Dial M for Murderousness, The President's Neck is Missing!, Hydro, the Man With the Hydraulic Arms, Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out, They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall, The Verdict Was Mail Fraud, Make-Out King of Montana, The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel, The Mediocre Journey, Calling All Quakers (with Dolores Montenegro), Calling All Lumberjacks, Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly, Pepsi Presents Fractions, Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds, Locker Room Towel Fights : The Blinding of Larry Driscoll, The Unbearable Moistness of Sweating, and Slow Down David Copperfield, What's That Down Your Sock?
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Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife - birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes, and dingoes - by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billions so he can eat them. Then in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - fatal - health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions of more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other humans are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because the food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man who kills easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."