Dan

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Anything you want to know...just ask...but if not: Dan Stew here. Well to be honest, I'm just another guy. The only thing I'm looking forward to is graduating and flying some helicopters. Fly Army! I do wanna say that, to quote my freshman year roommate: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, cigar in one hand, favorite drink in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOW -- What a ride!"
Manly men
I miss days of our grandfathers, back when men were real men.Back then the game of dodgeball was played with rocks and the game of dodgerock was played with knives. I miss the days when everyone was a badass.Somehow between then and now fate decided to take a steaming hot dump all over Darwin's grave as a generation of salty war veterans gave way to a generation of scarf-wearing vaginas.It hurts me to think that for years society stands idly painting its fingernails while icons like Clint Eastwood are replaced by wieners like Ryan Seacrest. If these generations of manly men were still alive they would spit tobacco juice in Ryan Seacrest's face and then make him wash and wax their Trans Am.Back in the good old days things were much simpler. Back then you could walk into a caf and not be totally confused. This is because back then it didn't matter if you were trying to order, cappuccino, mocha latte or espresso they were all called the same thing, scotch.Back then four out of five doctors recommended smoking. This isn't because of doctor's ignorance to the dangers of smoking. This is because lungs used to be much more manly. Lungs used to be a manly shade of black instead of a girly shade of pink. But these days our lungs have devolved into an advanced state of weenie-ism making us incapable of enjoying rich tobacco goodness.When manly men aren't eating pieces of sh*t like you for breakfast they're eating sausage wrapped in bacon, wrapped in more bacon and topped with a fried egg, and they wash it down with a glass of bacon grease, topped off with a doctor recommended cigarette.Look at any grumpy old man and the first thing you'll notice is that he smells like a medium-sized pile of garbage that is sitting on top of a large-sized pile of garbage. This is because of years and years of stink that has built up from a combination of bare-knuckle boxing and bare-knuckle lumberjacking.Wimps, weenies and vegetarians are ruining our great nation. America is on a downward spiral, we've got a fever and the only prescription is scotch, red meat and lumberjacks.