There is no way to control the thoughts of those who will read my first statement, nor am I supposed to.
I am a follower of Christ. I am called to be Christ-like. Keep in mind that being a human being, this will not look exactly like the Christ that we all read about. Being a human I am susceptible to the very things that go along with this title. I am a sinner. I do not always tell the truth, nor do I always love my neighbor. I do not have a last shall be first mentality. I will forsake you, and my God for a piece of bread given the chance. The chance seems to come quite regularly.
With this information, I doubt I would be put in your "People you'd like to meet" section. But the truth is, I/We are no different than Johnny Depp or Fabio. To be more blunt, I am no different than John Wayne Gacey Jr. This song by Sufjan Stevens penetrated my heart and spoke this truth to me:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God
Are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid
After typing this mess of an explanation I lose hope in being honest and figure I will just leave it at this, until the desire hits me again to attempt to say something or do something that has never been done strikes again.
The truth again is, though I am telling you who I am in this body, I am leaving out the most important thing. I am a christian. Redeemed. Saved. Forgiven. Loved. I have a Saviour who has my best interest in mind. Who has conquered the things I cannot and who is before the Father pleading my case. This is true love. This is the love that draws me away from any addiction, from any possible thing that might steal my joy.
May be annoying or stupid to you, I don't know. I pray that it is not. And if it is, I pray that you will, in this short time of a life, realize how much you are just like everyone else and how much you are in need of the grace that sets your free from slavery.
