Twelfth profile picture

Twelfth

Not as Smart as You Require

About Me

Here's my High-Concept Description: Flippant Jackass meets Brooding Intellect while Selfish Alcoholic battles Flailing Writer. I spend my days ruining people's lives, my nights ruining people's days, and weekends ruining fictional people's lives. Also: I can haiku at the drop of a hat. I don't watch television, I refrain from eating red meat, I shun organized sports, I question divinity, and I don't salute the American flag. I scowl a lot and the chronic neck spasms will probably kill me one day. I don't know if any of those things are admirable characteristics.

My Interests

speeding, reading, creative writing, comic books, medocre drawing, sequential art, rally racing, pretending, RPGs, experimental music, noise, aggressive french kissing, daydreaming, sleeping, astronomy, classical mythology, water guns, contemplation, alcoholic beverages, pretty faces, berserker fundraising, berserker drunks, berserker business travel, girls with short hair, good humor, UK English, penguins, sea turtles, monkeys! giant robots, card games, lunch money, experimentation, alphonse mucha, taking photos, masochists, rugby, feats of strength! rubber bands, red velvet cake, brownies, roller skating, ice skating, pugilism, esoteric symbology, philosophy of alchemy, 20%, being weird, renaissance literature, trashy pop horror, booty, nice clothes, individuality, anarchy, catholic mythology, tattoos, a job well done, meme creation, random surveys, ducatz imma pocketz, inventing neologisms, haikus

I'd like to meet:

G.W. Bush's Corpse, Anton LaVey, Wesley Willis, Angela Carter, Marquis DeSade, My Doppelganger, A Viable Third Party Candidate, Jonathan Swift, Tom Waits, Mike Patton, Nar'eth, Jhonen Vasquez, Roman Dirge, Martial, girls with short hair, my future ska band, my fictional eastern european goth band, a pro bono literary agent, a dying man with a winning lottery ticket, The Pope, my muse, Nick Cave, Shane MacGowan, scottish girls with tourette's syndrome, a boxing instructor, boys who need two glances, zooo music girls, drunk Einstein, Crowley, most of the people I read about in books, people who can teach me something new about life.
Note: I don't add requests unless I know you OR we can actually have a decent conversation. Message me and let me feel ya. Webcam girls can fuck off unless you can do the above. Also, if you can't be bothered to pick at least one book or author you like, get offline and go to a library. People who brag about being illiterate make Baby Jesus cry.

Music:

Mike Patton, Faith No More, Mr Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, Tom Waits, Boredoms, Merzbow, Mad Professor, John Zorn, Tzadik Records, Add N to X, Liars, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Current 93, Nurse with Wound, Cranes, Swans, The Dire, Mendacity Records, Morphine, Pietasters, Slackers, Pogues, Flogging Molly, Shane MacGowan, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Birthday Party, Daria Parker, And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, Bikini Kill, Fighting Headlice, Soul Coughing, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, The Distillers, Ani Difranco, The Cramps, Dead Voices on Air, Rachel's, Gogol Bordello, Neko Case, Bill Laswell, Painkiller, Naked City, The Clash, Coil, Bauhaus, Phantomsmasher, Atomsmasher, Kid606, Squarepusher, Autechre, Tiger Army, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, The Maturity, Melt Banana, One AM Radio, Aerin Tedesco, Johnny Cash, Desmond Dekker, The Selecter, Muslimgauze, Buzzcocks, The Dirtbombs, Detroit Cobras, Lycia, Lovespiralsdownwards, Toots and the Maytals, Weakerthans, Decemberists, Dresden Dolls, Skatalites, Tin Hat Trio, Einsturzende Neubauten, Dracula Time Traveler, Sam Cooke, Wilson Pickett, R.L. Burnside, Dar Williams, My Bride Babylon, The Freak Out, The Vanity Set, Wesley Willis ....

Television:

Kill Your Television.

Books:

angela carter, umberto eco, arturo perez-reverte, boccacio, andrew vachss, jonathan lethem, pat barker, anton lavey, charles bukowski, john webster, shakespeare, will eisner, ray bradbury, lovecraft, caitlin r kiernan, neil gaiman, yeats, half price books, crazy religious conspiracy books, nonsensical, myself, what are yr reading? comix - sandman/dreaming, strangers in paradise, poison elves, optic nerve, molly kiely, jhonen vasquez, lenore, sam keith, alan moore, guy davis, eddie campbell, + more. Yeah, I should have more but I always get blocked on this damn question.

Heroes:

Jennifer Haniver, Simon Belmont, Mary Webster, Clever Hans, Han Van Meegeren, Prisoner #416, Wesley Willis.

My Blog

No Wesley Willis, Sorry.

Magical musical meme from many people on the webs (I pulled it from  watermelontail. Here's the rules:A. List a lyric from the first twenty-five songs in your randomized playlist and invite peopl...
Posted by Twelfth on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:02:00 PST

Muppet Deadwood

Yes, you read that right. Here it is: Okay, so, Morgan, Xtian, & I were hanging out yesterday & the topic of Muppet-cast movies came up (Muppet Godfather, Muppet The Candidate, Muppet The Gr...
Posted by Twelfth on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 06:52:00 PST

Come on, No Whammie! No Alien Sex Fiend!

Okay, here's this, which I took from blue_vervain, 'cause I didn't get to play on Zombie Apocalypse Day. I'll have to mark it on my calendar for next year & take the whole day off to blog hourly. ...
Posted by Twelfth on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:14:00 PST

Quizzzzzzzztastic!

Quizglut!Stolen from sovay, who writes very nice stories which are wonder-full and the likes of which I could spend the rest of my life attempting to mimic while remaining only painful counterfeit.--N...
Posted by Twelfth on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:39:00 PST

FLASH! From our No Bullshit Dept.!

Not surprising. I paraphrase/re-write an old song: "I want a girl who can quote Rimbaud, play chess, and drink PBR."Your Score: The Suicide Girl49% Sexy-Cute, 31% Dark-Light, 18% Artsy-Stylishimg.catI...
Posted by Twelfth on Tue, 29 May 2007 03:18:00 PST

Certain Inconsistencies Are Resolved...

Well. This was a surprise. No really. It is. I knew I was selfish and contemptuous for society, but I was at least looking for, I dunno, Chaotic Neutral. You'll pay for this, TSR/WoC! Bwahahahaha! St...
Posted by Twelfth on Thu, 24 May 2007 08:18:00 PST

It's Gettin' Hot in Herre

I stole this from watermelontail, as I have come to do recently. First, I was curious, then I was just amused.The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!Here is how you matc...
Posted by Twelfth on Thu, 10 May 2007 05:38:00 PST

Color Meme

Bored now.you are seagreen#2E8B57Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Y...
Posted by Twelfth on Wed, 02 May 2007 04:55:00 PST

I'll Gnaw Your Bones, fickly.

So, I got this from watermelontail, but I've got a feeling that a fair number of you all may yet follow suit. Oddly enough, I usually score as scavenger species when I do animal memes. Make of that wh...
Posted by Twelfth on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 06:01:00 PST

FUCK YOU BLOOPER!

Props to Leslie for this comedic gem. I found this just about freaking hilarious. But, I'm amused when people start carpet (F-)bombing due to frustration. That's quality schadenfreude-12th...
Posted by Twelfth on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 07:41:00 PST