UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am NOT normal and that scares a lot of people! The ones who really know me love me because I make them laugh. I'm blond, 5'8, blue eyes, and thick. Honey, you can park a Cadillac on my ass. I'm extremely open minded and I like to hang out with a wide variety of interesting people. I love to be outdoors, I am completely computer illiterate, and I have soo many animals that I'm gonna start claiming them on my income tax return. I love to cook! I love cheese and I hate the "M" word!

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My Interests

My hobbies include: weaving kick-ass necklaces, drawing, working out, hiking, rafting, stalking hot black men, and watching midget porn. I love to cook giant meals and have people over to eat, even though it's exhausting. Cake decorating is my artistic outlet. I have a fetish with big black women because they remind me of my mother, I just love them!

I'd like to meet:

I am up for meeting anyone, especially midgets, they are an absolutely fansinating little creatures. Oh, and big girls who like to spank people, lol. Like I said, I'll hang out or talk to anyone. I'm generally a very nice person, when I'm not being a hateful bitch.

Music:

I listen to everything. Likin Park kicks ass! I'm facinated with A Perfect Circle, Amanda Ghost, Staind, Garbage, Breaking Benjamin,Tantric, Evanescence, Rob Zombie, Aretha Franklin, Adema, System of a Down, 3 Doors Down, Matchbox 20, Abanndoned Pools, Course of Nature, Disturbed, Goo Goo Dolls, Hoobastank, Chevelle, Natalie Imbruglia, Edwin McCain, Limp Bizkit, Saliva, Stone Sour, Orgy, Puddle of Mudd, The Weather Girls, Alice DJ, Sandstorm, Collective Soul, Poe,Trapt, Vertical Horizon, Trammel Starks, Gwen Stefani, Creed, and African Tribal Music. I also love Sarah Mclachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Nickelback, Fuel, (Brett Scallions can be my baby's Daddy),Outkast, Ludacris, Incubus, and No Doubt. Shirley Q. Liquor is the best!

Movies:

Dirty Dancing is my all time favorite. Of course i love the Harry Potter Movies and Lord of the Rings Trilogy, who doesn't? Can't leave out Deuce Bigalo, Madagascar, Ice Age, Finding Nemo, Austin Powers, Big Trouble in Little China, Serinity, Frogs!, Giant Spider Invasion, , The Notebook, Ever After, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar, Pirates of the Carribean, Underworld, Fat Beach Patrol, and Ass Aliens

Television:

I love Futurama, Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Heroes, Fire Fly, House, Spongebob Squarepants,and porn. Dead Like Me is also and ironicly excellent series about life afterlife. We recently subscribed to Showtime and I love DEXTER and Weeds!

Books:

Stephen King is the only one that keeps me interested, when I have time to read. Kelly Armstrong is pretty kick ass too! I enjoy her lusty stories about vampires, werewolves, and other supernaturals.

Heroes:

Shirley Q. Liquor is my heroe...she is one sassy lady/man. Of course, my Big Mama! She's been through a lot and still keeps going, I don't know how?

My Blog

it’s a conspiracy...

there is a secret alliance between the gym and la terazza! I went to pee the other day and sat down and glanced at the "advertising graffiti" on the back of the stall door. There were two ads for th...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Fri, 19 Oct 2007 04:22:00 PST

lord help me!

So, I got back from the gym yesterday morning and got out of my car and headed toward the house. Far in the distance I heard a noise, it was some sort of rambling. I proceeded to the door and went i...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 06:14:00 PST

gee whiz cheese whiz...

today, I went to the gym with James, Matthew, and Tony. I had almost forgotten how bad at racket ball that I actually am...but it's coming back. We stayed over two hours and had a lot of fun. After...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Sat, 15 Sep 2007 02:32:00 PST

can you borrow me a dolla?

So, I found my wedding dress on sunday. I had been looking for a beach type/ semi formal dress for the Elvis retreat. It of course is too small, at the moment. it will fit...but with the help of bu...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 07:20:00 PST

Help!

There are Pork Fairies in my house again and they are stealing all the sausage balls! Extinction is among them, I found an injured one lying on the floor this morning in little bits and pieces. Sadl...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:59:00 PST

Viva Las Vegas!

So, the Elvis wedding is on. Spring break in Vegas is riddiculously expensive. Three hundred bucks a night at the cheap hotel is insane. We're going to wait and go a little later in march so that w...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Sat, 28 Jul 2007 07:11:00 PST

Sizzle, sizzle

Last night, I came to the realization that my idea of Hell is being trapped at the Melting Pot after gasteric bypass. We went to dinner there last night and it was the most amazing dinning experience...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 08:52:00 PST

I wet my pants, ALMOST!

So I spent the day with my family, i'm not sure why. Every day spent with them brings me closer to the conclusion that we are not really related. Anyways, I left there house and was on my way to see...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 07:54:00 PST

put yourself in there position

Working at a pet store, I can't help but notice a trend among obese women everywhere. It seems like they have all aquired tiny little dogs. I was walking down the treat aisle and looked up to see a ...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:52:00 PST

i'm disturbed...

So, I'm sitting here watching a movie about the life and times of Jeffery Dahmer...a sensitive portrayal. What the hell? He abducted, raped, and ate people. I really can't have any pity for him, no...
Posted by UnSaNiTaRy HaLiBuT on Thu, 24 May 2007 08:10:00 PST