F*A*I*T*H

The first thing I guess I should say is don't ever try to SAVE ME. It isn't worth your time. I know what my problems are so don't sit there killing me with your apathy, pretending that you give a shit if you don't. I don't want any pretenders, players, or fakers. I want real people with real lives and real cares. If you care for me let me work things out on my own but remember to always be a helpful shoulder when I need to cry. You can't solve my problems. Only I can. And I am working on it. I won't ever be told again that someone bent over backwards to help me. It's bull shit. You can't help people. They have to be willing to help themselves.
Now something a little softer...
I am a lover AND a fighter.
A dreamer AND a doer.
I am a gentle heart with loving hands and it is easy to hurt me, but don't be fooled. I might be easily hurt but I am not so easily broken. There is a difference.
I've been broken twice in my short life.
Both times by love and her bitterness.
She will not break me again.
A very smart, but very broken, little girl taught me a valuable lesson this year and that is that I AM. I CAN. I WILL. And no one can take that power away from me.
She held up a mirror and showed me to myself and I saw a shining star.
I am not being in any way conceeded or cocky. It is plain and simple truth. I am a beautiful, intelegent, sparkling young woman who has a bright and promising future in front of her. My problem was not being able to see the big picture beyond what I let other people make me feel.
I was raised to view myself as bad.
Dirty.
Wrong.
It didn't help when I came out of the closet. My mother is still very much ashamed of me and makes sure I know it everyday. My first ex was ashamed of me. So was the second. The third was worse... I was her beautiful secret... no one could know. That shame had seeped into the very core of me and made me ashamed of myself. It is a war I fight with myself on my own... you can't help me. But knowing that there is someone out there who cares and is not ashamed of me makes a difference. Trust and Believe.
I am an writer... have been since the sixth grade. If you're interested you can find my work if you follow the link below.
I am also an actress and a college student. Both very difficult things to be at any age but all the harder the older you get. I don't believe in giving up on my dreams. They are the only reason I am still here. And they are how I am going to leave a mark on this world.
I can be the best friend you will ever know... or I can be your biggest regret... the choice is yours once you step over that threshold and decide to know me deeper.
Just remember... you will never forget me.
The Tiger
~William Blake~
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?
What the hammer?
What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
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