Ray - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Okay, here's all the self deprecating crap. I would call myself a creative type if you were looking to categorise me. I'm a writer, as I've been working on a book for the past year on and off. It's still not finished, and nowhere near perfect but you gotta start somewhere. I've also written for some magazines, and it seems I write blogs that piss people off too. Also a painter. Abstracts. They're the brain spasms I can't put into words yet. I have no cool piercings or tattoos to impress you with but wouldn't mind getting a tat of my face on the back of my head, so then I could look behind me and realise I haven't been anywhere good today. Blah blah blah blah blah. Mneh mneh mneh mneh mneh. Who cares what I write here? It's all bollocks. There's roughly 2% of the world's population with a fucking Myspace. Let's go back to the old days. Let's actually do something worthwhile with our lives before we perish. You go first... Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

Bricks. Seats. Boobs. Ears. Scribbling. Headaches. Crisps.

I'd like to meet:

David Bowie. I'd shake his hand and say "David, why don't you do drugs anymore? Please, start doing drugs again. Do it for me. And the music."Who else... Larry David. The man is a genius so I'd probably be lost for words, or alternatively swear like a convulsing tourette's suffer about how good I think he is.Finally, someone to inspire me to improve.

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Music:

The plinky plonky noises I hear all day and night. I like lots of stuff but I suggest you get your own opinion as what I like is what I like and what you like, well, it's what you like. If we both liked all the same things, I'd be scared of you.Bowie, Talking Heads, Smog and Jeff Buckley though... Genius.

Movies:

Not what they used to be.Citizen Kane, Amelie, Fight Club and Kingpin though... Genius.

Television:

Black box that tries to steal my soul by pumping out toxic radiation.Peep Show and Curb Your Enthusiasm though... Genius.

Books:

Curious objects aren't they? Been trying to write one and it's harder than Jordan, Wayne Rooney and Ginger Spice made it look.American Psycho though... Genius.

Heroes:

David Bowie. David Byrne. Larry David. Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Matt Groening. Jackson Pollock. Nick Drake. Bill Hicks. Martin Scorcese. Paul Schrader. David Fincher. Robert Zemeckis. Chuck Palahniuk. Simon Cowell. Your ma.

My Blog

"Love is..."

Emm... yeah. "Hi" and stuff. Realised I haven't written anything on the Myspaz in ages so, here's something I was going to save for something else but in the words of the Queen; "Fuck it in the ...
Posted by Ray on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 07:16:00 PST

Bee Bee Sea

Oh, hello. What are you doing here? Surely you should be slicing gelatinous globules of ham and turkey and adding lashes of mayonnaise to slightly mouldy white bread in a futile attempt to mask the dr...
Posted by Ray on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 10:12:00 PST

Smingle and me

Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat, please put a penny in the old man's hat. Wait, that's a Halloween rhyme. And if you gave someone a penny these days they'd probably tell you to forci...
Posted by Ray on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 06:42:00 PST

"Anteso"

"You don't have a fucking CLUE what you're talking about, Dick!"Dick didn't want to admit it but Herman was right. The past three hours had been completely improvised as he tried to explain the theory...
Posted by Ray on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 06:10:00 PST

Heroin For All!

Seen this? Heard about this?Free BrownThat's right. If you're a heroin addict, Deputy Chief Constable Howard Roberts wants to give YOU free brown. Wow. What an age we live in. I can almost taste the f...
Posted by Ray on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 08:54:00 PST

Old Grey Mare She Ain't What She Used To Be

I haven't written anything on here in ages. The reasons are several fold as they used to say in the old days when people had 56k connections, Starburst were still called Opal Fruits, and Matthew Kelly...
Posted by Ray on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 09:53:00 PST

This Is De Neews

I think it says it all, so just read it. It was the story that every journalist at my local paper back home "The Spectator" wanted to cover. One lucky lady got the gig. Who says small Town news isn't ...
Posted by Ray on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 05:22:00 PST

Bees

It's not about bees, that would be ridiculous. Who wants to read about bees? You? I don't think so. You like indie bands, films I've never really heard of but sound impressive and you read books witho...
Posted by Ray on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 05:35:00 PST

Stereotypes

Now, it's sometimes not easy garnering sensitive information from the internet. Of course there's an infinite number of sites with gynacelogical close-ups of the sensitive parts of blonde girls from t...
Posted by Ray on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 05:01:00 PST

Big Load Of Shiiiiiiiiii...

Evening.Noticed that I hadn't written anything in quite some time on this SpyMeca shite, so I thought I'd write some wrongs. Think of me as a temporal Ghandi but one who would use extreme violence if ...
Posted by Ray on Tue, 24 Oct 2006 04:56:00 PST