You have ever been hit by a chancla.You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking,You use your lips to point something out.You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis."Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.You can dance ranchera, cumbia, or salsa without music.You call your sneakers "tenees."You have at least thirty cousins.You can't imagine anyone NOT liking spicy food.You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting, "SUBANSE, TODAVIA CABEN!"Tamales, champurrado, posole y menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.There is more Tequila than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.You have a drunk uncle/aunt.You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.You have ever had to tell your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.You go to a wedding or Quinceanera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first one to take a plato to go.You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse or back pocket.Your cousins are delinquets/hootchies.You have a chola in you barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.You're laughing right now because some of these things have actually happened to YOUR ASS!!
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