When asked to write about a person, an event or a place that has uniquely shaped my life, I am hard pressed to find just one answer. Life itself changes me profoundly on a daily, hourly, and sometimes momentary basis. As I walk through life I can see, hear, smell, taste, and especially feel the passing moments come through me and I use those experiences to later reflect on myself; where I can improve, and where my strengths lie in the now. Living is the thing that influences me the most; it is through living that passion, the thirst for knowledge, and wisdom, have enveloped my very soul and easily define who I am. I am constantly changing, growing and learning with the intention of spending all of my waking hours in constructive action. I have blossomed like a perennial rose, who each year will offer a more exquisite bloom.Life is made of moments, pockets in time that dictate who a person is going to be and which path each of us will end up upon. When asked to define a pivotal moment in my life I could choose to talk about my biological mother who was a heroine addict, I could say something about my childhood professional acting career, or even define myself by the achievement I have made in my current employment; all of these are linear though, and linear I am not.If I had to choose the moments that make me I would say that watching the sunrise, feeling and seeing an exquisite piece of artwork, listening: these are the fabric of my being. Every month I go to the Museum of Modern Art and stand in front of “Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte†the painting by Georges Seurat. I have done this once every month since I was sixteen (I am now twenty one). Every time I see this painting tears flow from my eyes, emotion floods my body and I stand and cry, sometimes for hours. Why do I cry?Each speck of paint represents a moment. Each tiny blob of color is a second in time, and each of these dots dictates only a tiny piece of a greater whole. Each speck of paint, every nuance of color, is a small fractal of the story. One droplet without the other is meaningless. Each speck of paint has no power on its own because without another the painting will no longer thrive. When combined these spots of pigment create a story that is so beautiful it makes me wonder how one man could have isolated each moment to create a dynamic picture, a gift I do not possess. I see the whole before I recognize the pieces that made it, and I know that the whole, although greater than the sum of the parts, cannot exist without the many molecules.Knowing the importance of the micro-fractal moments, how can I pick one moment that has helped to define me? Maybe it’s the compassion I use to lead me through life, or my success in personal relationships. Maybe I am defined by the moment a teacher realized I was smart and helped me realize it too and maybe my definition will become a dream trip to India. Surly moments, people, places define and influence me, but I would not stand and cry in front of an enlarged corner of Georges Seurat’s painting, I would not be in awe of a sunrise if the day never ended and I would certainly never listen if the ability to critically think was extricated from me. I am every moment, each passing second leaves another speck of color on me until one day I will perhaps be as exquisite as “Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.â€â€œIt is only with the heart that one can see rightly, everything essential is blind to the eyesâ€~Antoine Saint-Exupery~
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